Dear Steemit Week 2 is ON! 30SBD PRIZE POOL!!! Share Your Advise and Win!
Dear Steemit is a weekly contest in search of the best advise on a given situation.
Another call for help this week! This time we have a troubled parent unsure of which to choose- parental presence or financial stability?
Dear Steemit,
I'm a solo parent of a wonderful child. I'm super hands-on when it comes to my child's development, as I deem it important to maximize these early years in her life. We live with my mom, and being the sole provider in the house, we are not in the best situation financially, living by the paycheck.
I was offered a high-paying job overseas, a three-year contract that would amount to ten times my current salary. Had I been childless, no questions asked, I'll accept the offer in a heartbeat. But a big part of me do not want to miss any of her milestones. I don't want her to feel abandoned,as I am the only parent she knows. I worry about my mom too as she is not getting any younger.
I honestly don't know what to do, what do yo think?
All the best,
Mr. SepAnx
Share your thoughts for a chance to win. It's simple! Simply share your advise.
Here are the things you need to know:
- A sticky situation will be posted once a week (Sunday/Monday) and contest will run for 7 days from posting.
- To enter the contest, simply COMMENT YOUR ADVISE or
- CREATE A POST on your page about the topic, and put in the comments here the link for the post.
- An UPVOTE is a MUST to qualify.
- A RESTEEM is highly appreciated, but not a requirement. This will also help increase the reward pool for the succeeding weeks.
- PRIZES totals to 30 SBD, broken down as follows:
- 1st Place- 15 SBD
- 2nd Place- 10 SBD
- 3rd Place- 5 SBD
- Winners will be announced on the 8th day from contest posting.
- 1st place will be chosen by this week's guest judge- @saisei!
- 2nd and 3rd will be chosen via MOST UPVOTE COUNT.
If you find this worthwhile and would wish to support the project, please let me know, this is ALWAYS welcome!
Comment your thoughts on this and upvote! Resteem would be much appreciated to help increase the prize pool for the succeeding weeks.
True to the spirit of the Steemit community, I am excited to see Dear Steemit be a venue to positively discuss possible solutions to a given challenging situation. Steemit's very own advise column, where all of us take part in counseling!
Most of us may have found ourselves in a position where we have to make tough decisions, and we seek other's counsel to help us in our decision-making. Dear Steemit aims to be a venue for this- the scenarios may be real-life experiences, or theoretical, that most people may relate to. If you have a challenging situation to share and would wish for the Steemit community's advise, feel free to message me via discord or steemit chat, username dreamiely.
Need advise? Most of us do.
Share some insights? Most of us can!
Steeming happily ever after,
I would suggest you stay because no amount of money will buy back the previous time you would lose with your child. A child needs quality time with a loving parent rather than expensive toys or pretty clothes. I have seen many people I know resent their parents for not spending enough time with them as children even though they all came from wealthy families and had way more allowances than me. A parent's love cannot be replaced. It is priceless.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! 5 more days for contest run, dont forget to upvote (if havent already), and a gentle reminder that 2nd and 3rd place will be based on upvotes on your entry! Have a great day :)
This is heart warming, fun, and informative. I'll join and here's my take on it: I'd say take the job but have a plan, don't stay on that job forever take 3 years and make sure to invest out of your salary so you do not have to work just to provide for your family's basic needs later on. Be disciplined and you will surely make it. Upvoted and resteemed so that more people can participate...
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! 5 more days for contest run, dont forget to upvote (if havent already), and a gentle reminder that 2nd and 3rd place will be based on upvotes on your entry! Have a great day :)
Yeah, we'll see after 5 days. For the upvote, already did...
Take the job. Then process papers to take your mom and kid with you.
All the best,
luvabi
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! 5 more days for contest run, dont forget to upvote (if havent already), and a gentle reminder that 2nd and 3rd place will be based on upvotes on your entry! Have a great day :)
Don't forget to upvote to qualify! :)
Dear Mr. SepAnx,
Congrats on your value to the industry you're in! I'm sorry life has presented you with a tough situation, but it seems like a good problem to have! Job offers are too few and too far between.
Unless there's information missing from your letter, I whole-heartedly recommend you bring your child with you and accept the job overseas. There's a world of new experiences that can come with experiencing a different country, and experiencing it as a child will surely be mind-opening! With your new wage (ten times your current salary!) perhaps you will be able to bring your mother along if she wants to come as well! If not, you can surely find quality childcare with such a large wage.
Unless the cost of living in this new country is commensurately high. In which case, ignore the above advice. Too often, we look at pure dollar values and forget to account for larger expense that go along with new jobs.
To sum up, yes, being with your kid is important. I recommend you stay with your kid. But kids can grow with new experiences, so, if you think the quality of life for your kid wouldn't suffer, bring them with you to the new place! Make a reasonable and thorough budget before the move, and make sure that your actual earnings will cover your actual costs. Use that information to move forward.
We're all making it up as we go along.
nice advice @improv!!!
thanks!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! 5 more days for contest run, dont forget to upvote (if havent already), and a gentle reminder that 2nd and 3rd place will be based on upvotes on your entry! Have a great day :)
You're welcome and I have! Was the winning advice from week 1 posted?
Oh yes it has been! I opted not to tag everyone this time, as I got conscious some may not appreciate it. Expect a tag though for the summary post. The winners are announced within 24hrs from summary posting :)
Here's the link:
https://steemit.com/dearsteemit/@dreamiely/dear-steemit-week-1-winners-best-responses-to-go-back-in-the-workforce-or-start-a-business
Groovalicious nutritious!
Don't take the job.
As hard as things might be financially, don't take the job.
Your child needs you. Despite the fact that even when they're older in life and will understand why you moved away, it will never overcome the feeling of abandonment your child will feel. Understanding the reason doesn't do much to change the emotion they feel in relation to it.
Your baby needs you.
I grew up dirt poor. My husband grew up dirt poor. I know a lot of people that grew up dirt poor. But being poor alone wasn't a cause for unhappiness. Parents not paying attention, being neglectful, or fighting in the home were the causes of unhappiness to us poor kids when we were growing up.
Your child will always think of those milestones you missed. It doesn't matter how well-intentioned your absence was, and it doesn't matter whether or not your child understands the reasons. There will always be holes eating away at your child, whether you see them or not. Unfortunately, children are good at hiding this kind of pain.
I didn't have a father growing up. And as a child, it only kinda sorta bothered me every once and a while. As an adult? There's a gaping black hole where my father should've been, and it hurts. A lot.
If nothing else, try to see if there's any way you can move your child overseas with you. It might be difficult, but it's better than leaving your child behind.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! 5 more days for contest run, dont forget to upvote (if havent already), and a gentle reminder that 2nd and 3rd place will be based on upvotes on your entry! Have a great day :)
I upvoted when I posted!
I grew up with my grand parents because my mom left us for better opportunities in USA. While growing up we keep our communication with our mom thru skype or phone. Our grandparents keep explaining why my mom leave us and we understand and appreciate her sacrifice while growing up. I would say take the job abroad and often communicate with your kid and let her/him feel that you're just one call away :) Good luck and I hope you all the best :)
Don't forget to upvote to qualify! :)
Done :) with resteem :P
Thank you @johndarcy1994! Helps a lot :)
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! 5 more days for contest run, a gentle reminder that 2nd and 3rd place will be based on upvotes on your entry! Have a great day :)
Mr. SepAnx,
Without hesitation, my advice is to stay with your child. Those years are precious and irreplaceable. I had a tough year where I was gone and working a lot. SHAKES HEAD IN REGRET
On the day you die, you will only wish you had that time back with your baby girl.
From the kid's perspective, she wants you around more than she wants a better financial situation. My dad worked a lot to get ahead and eventually achieved a large income. I have these few awesome memories of just a few days we got to do fun things together: skiing, the beach, sailing. By the time I graduated university and moved on, we didn't really know each other. I feel the loss.
As long as you have the basics: food, shelter, a safe home, she will be happier having more quality time with you. Great job, Dad!
Don't forget to upvote to qualify! :)
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! 5 more days for contest run, dont forget to upvote (if havent already), and a gentle reminder that 2nd and 3rd place will be based on upvotes on your entry! Have a great day :)
I'd take my mum and daughter with me to my new job. There's nothing more important than raising a child and since the new job will provide 10 times more salary, I think that's an ideal situation to take both of them with me.
If I don't take the job, I may regret it later and I won't have enough money to support my family.
If I leave my daughter and mum behind, then I won't see my daughter growing up which will be so painful.
So the best of both worlds would be to take the job and take both my mum and my daughter with me.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! 5 more days for contest run, dont forget to upvote (if havent already), and a gentle reminder that 2nd and 3rd place will be based on upvotes on your entry! Have a great day :)
Let me tell you my story. When my mom and dad got married, they were both working and were earning good amount of money. However, when they gave birth to my elder sister, my mom quitted her job and took a full-time role as a housewife and a mother to her four children. They needed that money before because they want to provide us a better life without debts. But they knew that if my mom continued working, we might be used to "no mom and dad" life who's there to mold our character, be there when we needed them, and feel loved and appreciated. Fast forward to today, my parents raised two middle managers in different huge companies, and two high school students who are on top of their classes.
Ask yourself this question. What do you really want? Do you want to invest your time making money? Or do you want to invest your time being in the most important phase of your child's life?
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! 5 more days for contest run, dont forget to upvote (if havent already), and a gentle reminder that 2nd and 3rd place will be based on upvotes on your entry! Have a great day :)
@dreamiely you might agree with me on the fact that Having a unified family is priceless. You will never be able to by back the moments you will miss and the love you both share. Don't create a distant relationship between you and your daughter. Once the gap is created you might never be able to catch again. Seek for jobs you can do remotely. I was recently in a situation similar to yours in terms of choosing between my family and my career+the money. I chose my family and looked for other options for coping finanacially. one or several remote jobs is your best bet. That way you can make money, and still be close to your family.
Goodluck Mr. SepAnx!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! 5 more days for contest run, dont forget to upvote (if havent already), and a gentle reminder that 2nd and 3rd place will be based on upvotes on your entry! Have a great day :)