Punishment - constrained writing

Cold and dark. Everything around me is cold and dark, but me. I wish I could be so empty and emotionless like the dirt surrounding me. But my fate is much worse, and I deserved this, the harshest of all punishments. There is no greater pain but to be reminded of failures for all of eternity.

Time is eating me away, I feel it, but my punsihment is not the slowly death creeping on me. My punishment is that He still thinks of me as His most prized posession, but God knows I am not . I am nothing but a useless tool, that let down those who were dearest to me. Buried in a grave with HIM. My only love, my only true friend. My dear Tobly.

He is nothing more than a skeleton now, His beauty has rotted away. Yet.., yet He still holds me firmly, even in death He holds me close to where His once beating heart was.

I still remeber how tall and handsome He was with a strong jaw and a thick black beard. He looked like a king, in fact He was my king. But his hands I liked the most. They were strong and always full of blisters, but they were not rough. Those hands were hands of a loving father, of a dedicated husband, of a hardworking lumberjack... those were His hands, my friends hands.

He was beloved by all. His greatness and kindness could not be unseen by other people. That is actually how Him and I met. The roof of the blacksmitsh's workshop got destroyed in a big storm and He built him a new roof for free. He simply couldn't stand watching the poor blacksmith work in a roofless shop. To repay Him, blacksmith created me, his best work- I really heard him say that.

When He brought me home His wife Arlena and His daughters Enna and Marla were thrilled to see me, the blacksmith's masterpiece. I was so full of myself.
After some time Tobly and I became inseparable. We often went to woods to work. It wasn't hard, actually I enjoyed it. He always encouraged me to be the best I can be. After an honest day of work He always praised me. In front of others also. But the best part was when we would get home. Every night He sharpened me and cleaned me. He used to say : "*You are providing food for my family, I will always take care of you *". I knew He really meant it, every word. Only now I realise how blessed I was to just know Him, let alone to be part of His family.

I was surrounded by love, until that faithful morning. Village bells rang loudly. I've heard them before, when a pack of wolves entered the village so I wasn't too nervous. Tobly picked me up and said: "Girl, duty calls, lets be brave". But I soon realized this time there were no wolves. It was a band of raiders intended on pillaging and burning. Monsters. But His courage didn't falter. I could feel His grip tightening, His resolve solid as a rock. He ran towards one raider who was about to struck an old lady laying on a ground. Stop - He yelled, getting the attention of a murderous bandit. Raider swang his , already blooded, sword at us but Tobly managed to evade with ease, then He struck, aiming at monster's leather shield. Now was my chance to save the day, to save my friend.
But I failed. I failed even to get the raider off balance. After all the woods I chopped, after all the trees I knocked down, I failed against the simple leather shield. Why?
Because I choked. I got scared. And beacuse of that Toblies broad chest got pierced by that monster's sword. I yelled and screamed, but no one heard me. No one noticed that a good soul, the best soul died.
All because of me.

I was in a shock, but I knew I was to blame. Moments later Arlena dropped on her knees, sobbing and crying over the dead body of her beloved one. The girls remained locked in the house, better for them. No one could console Arlena, or me.

Days passed and funeral was organized. The biggest funeral the county has ever seen. Everyone was crying and grieving for the loss of a great man, my Tobly.
His wife decided that it would be best if He was with me. Did she honor Tobly in that way, or was it just that she could not bare to look at me anymore. I don't know, but I don't blame her. I deserve resent and anger, and much, much more.

Me and Tobly forever, that would sounded great long time ago, but now I cannot stop but wonder does he know that I am the reason for His early departure from His girls and what is even worse, do I want Him to know?

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Image source:

pinterest.com
https://www.videogamesartwork.com/games/blade-soul/burning-village

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This is my entry for the constrained writing contest organized by @svashta