"THE HOUSEPLANTS" coming soon to a windowsill near you (31)steemCreated with Sketch.

in #comedyopenmic6 years ago (edited)

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This is the foreign exchange student.
She is also a bonsai (I'm not racist if I say that because I made her that way).
Bonsai means either "the best of everything in a smaller size" or "sad, malnourished, and always one missed watering away from dying," I am not sure.
In the two years she has been with the show she has grown only 6 inches and there is speculation whether she will survive next season.
She is mostly seen as a background prop, sitting by an open window with her leaves fluttering.

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This is the patriarch, harking from the well known Asphodelaceae family.
He has clearly outgrown this show but his agent is too lazy to find him something better.
The producers desperately hope he stays with the program, since he is the only one making the show a success.

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Obviously, this little runt is the offspring of Aloe Vera, Sr.
He's only here because his dad was here first and got him the job.
No one else knew what to do with him.
Isn't he cute?

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The mysterious one on the show, he is also the only one not addicted to pot.
That means, his roots are hanging out for everyone to see at all times.
We have no idea what keeps him alive, but he clearly has hidden talents.

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The unwanted member of the cast, she showed up after a party and never left.
She can't stand up straight because she has also outgrown her pot, but everyone ignores it, hoping that she'll go away before she starts asking questions like "why am I the only one not getting paid for this."

I nominate @fromage and @coldsteem to regale us with the mundane.

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Ha ha ha, attack of the house plants... Isn't Aloe Vera something, I was given a plant from a friend a few years back and it keeps sprouting new plants every so often... I'll never have to buy aftersun again! :o)

I think it's a beautiful plant =) SO beautiful in fact, that I've always been too in love with it to actually pull any of its leaves off and use them for anything. I even got sunburned and my itching back wanted some aloe so badly but the proud plant owner couldn't bear to mash it up.

Ha ha, that's hilarious!! You should try it man, it's the job for sun burn... And you can harvest the little plants into other pots too for an infinite supply of aloe vera and a nice looking plant for the windowsill :o)

haha yeah that's where aloe vera jr. came from. I kept chickens too and would still pay top price for organic chicken breasts from the store cause i couldn't bear to mash up my pet chickens, either.

Good man! The chickens I can understand :o)

Well now I want to see a reunion photo with the whole cast in frame.

Clearly you did not get the subtext of how uninspired and lazy the owner of this show is. That sounds like something that might make me have to walk across the room... like 4 times.

succulent thing and spider ant plant thing got me laughing

Hell, how do you come up with stuff like this

LMAO

When the voices in your head talk to you, talk back! =p

In my pot plant show, they were all zombies. I ended up having to bury them in the compost. I have but one survivor, which I suspect to be immortal. It has survived against the odds...

Haha your show sounds a lot more interesting. Isn't that true though? Compost heaps are where things either go to die or come back to life on a revenge mission.

When they come back, the come back stronger than ever! 😆

Our elder Aloe Vera is starting to get like that too, and I keep pinching his offspring and potting them with my dream of selling them at the local restaurant in mugs from the thrift store I have drilled drain holes in.

I have yet to even ask if I can put them there to sell. I will maybe figure out how to juice them.

Sounds like a good idea to me!! Tippy Succulent thing actually sits in the coffee cup the spider air thing is taking a bath in the rest of the week and it works really well and looks good too. I bet you could find all sorts of interesting cheap coffee mugs at a goodwill/thrift shop =D

Wow. Aloe Vera Jr. is a cute blond baby. I'm starting to suspect there was some plant-human cross breeding or as we call it, "tree hugging" going on

Oh definitely a tiny tree hugger. Animal hugger. Knee hugger. Face hugger.
He hugs everything.

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