Comedy Open Mic Comedy Contest - Round 39

Welcome to the 39th week of The Comedy Open Mic Comedy Contest.

Please read the contest rules here*

* We need more bodies to help so please come help us out... Therapists, doctors, naturopaths, seriously we'll take anyone


Thank you to @gnarlyanimations for designing our new logo

Rules for Judges

  • Contest will run for a minimum of 40 weeks, and will continue to run as long as it is sustainable.
  • Prizes to be sent out within 24hrs of contest round closing
  • Every effort will be made for @comedyopenmic to upvote all valid entries
  • A big thank you to our new bot, which has been sharing the judges’ feedback in the form of upvotes.
  • A special thank you to our wonderful guest judges in round 38: @profanereviews, @anouk.nox, @take5, @idikuci, @doomsdaychassis

Round 39 Judges:

If you see any of these guys around please upvote and thank them. It is because of their support that this contest is able to keep functioning.

Do you want to be a judge?

Read all the entries, comment on contestant posts. Leave a positive trail of happiness and laughter behind you like you fart laughing gas and we will notice. Our most active curators and contestants will be asked to join us as guest judges on a week to week basis.



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Prizes

  • Court Jester will get 35SBD
    • Court Jester will be chosen by the judges
  • Top 15 prize pool is 45SBD
    • Contestants selected for Top 15 will receive 3SBD each.
  • Lucky Door Prize will be 5SBD
    • 5 lucky contestants will get a 1SBD each as a bonus prize.

This week's prize pool 90SBD

That's Right!!! You've never asked for more and yet we delivered!! later this week we will also deliver 3 crates of moist salted peanuts and a 50kg elephant so hold your breath because this week will be amazing. Either we'll have thousands of people passed out across the world or a tiny elephant eating nuts live on DTube.



Yes!! We now have even more prizes !! So step right up and earn your piece of the pie. We know the STEEM price is down at the moment, so we decided we'd give away even more crypto currency to all the great and hard working people who make us laugh each week as we try to make sense what people mean by "playing the rusty trombone".



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Curators

A number of people have put themselves forward as curators of content to encourage more entries.

If you see any of these guys around please upvote and thank them. It is because of their support that this contest is able to keep functioning.



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Sponsors

Donations

Thank you @ausbitbank and @dandays who have been very generous in donating additional funds towards prizes.

@ausbitbank - 1150 Steem, @idikuci - 208SBD, @curie - 200 Steem, @dj123 - 132SBD + 8 Steem, @carlgnash 120SBD, @punchline - 80 Steem + 10SBD, @take5 - 68 SBD, @nonameslefttouse - 55SBD, @dandesign86 and @redlipstick - 32SBD, @ilt-yodith - 22.891SBD + 10.899 Steem, @amirtheawesome1 / @yesaye - 20SBD, @thedailylaugh - 10SBD, @amirtheawesome1 - 32SBD, @meesterboom - 10SBD, @buttcoins - 10SBD, @groovatti - 10Steem, @profanereviews - 10SBD + 2 STEEM, @linnyplant - 6SBD, @dreemit - 5SBD, @thevillan - 5SBD, @sisygoboom - 5SBD, @mourningnoodles - 4Steem, @belemo - 7SBD + 5 STEEM, @steemmatt - 3SBD, @holybranches - 9SBD + 2 Steem, @pangoli - 7SBD, @jedi-won - 5SBD, @bitfiend - 2SBD, @diebitch - 12SBD, @lunasilver 0.007 Steem, @acolucky - 3Steem + 1SBD, @cemke - 24SBD, @scan0017 - 2SBD, @imjustsaying - 2SBD + 2Steem, @mourningnoodles - 2SBD, @armiaaceh - 1.5SBD, @richjr - 1.243 SBD + 1.364 Steem, @puncakbukit - 0.1SBD, @aaarif - 0.20 SBD, @mahendranikum - 0.021SBD, @mineopoly - 5SBD, @fromthebeginning - 4SBD, @lyndsaybowes - 23 Steem + 12.286SBD, @anouk.nox - 3 Steem, @doomsdaychassis - 2SBD + 10 Steem, @chrisroberts - 3SBD, @granolalight - 3SBD, @mineopoly - 1 Steem, @sharanaithal - 1 SBD + 6 Steem, @sparrowbernard - 2 STEEM, @llfarms - 30SBD + 34.54 Steem, @lordbutterfly - 5SBD, @pechichemena - 25 Steem, @dandays - 5SBD

Delegations

A big thank you to all those who continue to support us with their delegations.

@ngc - 20,000SP, @roelandp - 15,556SP, @idikuci - 1,000SP, @dj123 - 900SP, @holger80 - 500SP, @take5 - 500SP, @gamer00 - 300SP, @buttcoins - 300SP, @amirtheawesome1 - 256SP, @mightpossibly - 250SP, @carlgnash - 200SP, @abh12345 - 200SP, @pechichemena - 200SP, @yesaye - 162SP, @holybranches - 150SP, @bitfiend - 125SP,@diebitch - 100SP, @zenkly - 100SP, @bobaphet - 100SP, @artakush - 100SP, @sluttynsfw - 55SP, @ubongj - 50SP, @groovatti - 50SP, @anouk.nox - 50SP, @doomsdaychassis - 50SP, @davemccoy - 50SP, @rahul.stan - 30SP, @samueldouglas - 25SP, @belemo - 20SP, @kkkkkl - 20SP, @jonsnoww - 10SP, @betavirosis - 10SP, @sisygoboom - 9SP

Please send any donations and SP delegations directly to @comedyopenmic. The more funding we get, the longer it will be possible to run the contest and upvote all you hilarious people.

Important Information
If you see our judges, curators or sponsors comments or posts, please upvote and encourage them. They are giving up their time to help this contest, so if you see these guys around, say hello and give them an upvote:

We are all trying to make this a successful contest to raise participation in #funny and attract more comedians and aspiring comedians to Steem.

This post marks the end of Round 38 and the start of Round 39 of Comedy Open Mic.

Within 24hrs of this post, another post will go out marking the prize recipients. Sorry about the double post, but we need to make sure we have time to enjoy all the entries.

Reddit

Yes, we're on reddit. Come join us and help spread the news to pull more people in to Comedy Open Mic.
https://www.reddit.com/r/DComedyOpenMic/

Come join our discord channel: CLICK HERE and just say hi.

Original Content

If you believe someone has submitted an entry that is not their work, please let the judges know. You can let us know on the discord channel or as a reply to one of our comments. As long as contestants make an effort to produce original content and provide sources for other material we will be happy to accept the entry.

Please note: By entering the Comedy Open Mic Contest you agree to allow Comedy Open Mic to use the content you post in its promotion. Full credit will be given to the author as well as links to the original post in cases where Comedy Open Mic opt to use your material in promotions.

Good Luck and Happy Steeming!!

Click To Vote @ComedyOpenMic For Witness And Disrupt The Steem Blockchain With Laughter!
Support COM Banner

Thank you to @matytan for the great banner

@ComedyOpenMic is the Proud Sponsor of @ProjectGiving
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@ProjectGiving uses the power of the Steem Blockchain to raise exposure and funds for small scale non-profit initiatives around the world. Click on the banner to learn more about this week's fundraiser for: Yokaenso, a Tanzanian non-profit which seeks to create an ecologically sustainable community.

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Haha, nice collection (or pair) of funnies there :)

We doesn't like a funny pair.

Oh no, that wheel has gone a bit pear shaped 😔

Posted using Partiko Android

Stories from the subway
My story goes back to about fifteen years ago, when my daughter was about ten years old, every afternoon I would pick her up from school and it was already a little late, I had arrived late at school.
Legue accelerated to school and we walked quickly to take the train to our home, we entered the train and as there were many people stopped and we sought to go to the center of the car to allow other people to enter, at that time I felt a penetrating look that made me look for and find where I came from, from where I was, I could see some deep black eyes that looked at me insistently.
I decided to walk a little more towards the place where the look came from and I managed to sit with my daughter almost in front of the owner of those deep eyes and that disturbing look, that man was strong, his arms looked like force machines and his pectorals were totally defined, while my daughter and I looked at him amazed at so much strength and masculinity, he began to move his biceps and pectorals to impress us.
We were really impacted by the musculature of that man, strong and definite, but when this strong and definite man of deep look that towards more than one dream arrived at its destiny, oh surprise! When he got up from the seat we found an overwhelming reality, the man was the size of my daughter of nine years, amazed we looked at the eyes and I said to my daughter these words "appearances deceive".

https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@aiskelzurita/comedy-open-mic-comedy-contest-round-39

Haha, well, I wonder if he grew up in these last 15 years :)

I'm back with a second entry for this week ...

I Told My Boss To Shove It , I Quit
https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@rentmoney/i-told-my-boss-to-shove-it-i-quit-com-rd-38

Haha, it was short lived but it felt good to be a multi-billionaire for a day or two :)

It certainly did ....

Welcome round 39

Hi @comedyopenmic!

Your post was upvoted by @steem-ua, new Steem dApp, using UserAuthority for algorithmic post curation!
Your UA account score is currently 5.800 which ranks you at #398 across all Steem accounts.
Your rank has dropped 8 places in the last three days (old rank 390).

In our last Algorithmic Curation Round, consisting of 286 contributions, your post is ranked at #102.

Evaluation of your UA score:
  • You've built up a nice network.
  • The readers appreciate your great work!
  • Try to improve on your user engagement! The more interesting interaction in the comments of your post, the better!

Feel free to join our @steem-ua Discord server

Great opportunity to participate! Thank you @comedyopenmic

Is round 39 still going on?

Comedy should be booming in the era of depression.