Comedy Open Mic Comedy Contest - Round 37

All horror films need a great plot twist. Thankfully, we’re not a horror movie, so this comes without a plot twist as Round 37 simply starts now. We’re back to normal so take off the Halloween masks and costumes and let’s get back to our normal boring lives, or in our case; normal funny, sex jokes-filled lives.

Welcome to the 37th week of The Comedy Open Mic Comedy Contest.

Please read the contest rules here


Thank you to @gnarlyanimations for designing our new logo

Rules for Judges

  • Contest will run for a minimum of 38 weeks, and will continue to run as long as it is sustainable.
  • Prizes to be sent out within 24hrs of contest round closing
  • Every effort will be made for @comedyopenmic to upvote all valid entries
  • A big thank you to our new bot, which has been sharing the judges’ feedback in the form of upvotes.
  • A special thank you to our wonderful guest judges in round 36: @sharanaithal, @anouk.nox, @pechichemena, @doomsdaychassis, @amirtheawesome1

Round 37 Judges:

If you see any of these guys around please upvote and thank them. It is because of their support that this contest is able to keep functioning.

Do you want to be a judge?

Read all the entries, comment on contestant posts. Leave a positive trail of happiness and laughter behind you like you fart laughing gas and we will notice. Our most active curators and contestants will be asked to join us as guest judges on a week to week basis.


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Prizes

  • Court Jester will get 35SBD
    • Court Jester will be chosen by the judges
  • People's champion will get 0.01-5SBD (Payout depends on value, higher value post will get smaller prize. Remaining value to be handed out to other entrants).
    • People's champion is whoever has highest $ payout at competition close
  • Top 10 prize pool is 30SBD
    • Contestant selected for Punchy's Top 10 will receive 3SBD each.
  • Lucky Door Prize will be 5SBD
    • 5 lucky contestants will get a 1SBD each as a bonus prize.

This week's prize pool 75SBD


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Curators

A number of people have put themselves forward as curators of content to encourage more entries.

If you see any of these guys around please upvote and thank them. It is because of their support that this contest is able to keep functioning.


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Sponsors

Donations

Thank you @ausbitbank and @holybranches who were very generous in donating additional funds towards prizes.

@ausbitbank - 1050 Steem, @idikuci - 208SBD, @curie - 200 Steem, @dj123 - 132SBD + 8 Steem, @carlgnash 120SBD, @punchline - 80 Steem + 10SBD, @take5 - 68 SBD, @nonameslefttouse - 55SBD, @dandesign86 and @redlipstick - 32SBD, @ilt-yodith - 22.891SBD + 10.899 Steem, @amirtheawesome1 / @yesaye - 20SBD, @thedailylaugh - 10SBD, @amirtheawesome1 - 32SBD, @meesterboom - 10SBD, @buttcoins - 10SBD, @groovatti - 10Steem, @profanereviews - 10SBD + 2 STEEM, @linnyplant - 6SBD, @dreemit - 5SBD, @thevillan - 5SBD, @sisygoboom - 5SBD, @mourningnoodles - 4Steem, @belemo - 7SBD + 5 STEEM, @steemmatt - 3SBD, @holybranches - 9SBD + 2 Steem, @pangoli - 7SBD, @jedi-won - 5SBD, @bitfiend - 2SBD, @diebitch - 12SBD, @lunasilver 0.007 Steem, @acolucky - 3Steem + 1SBD, @cemke - 24SBD, @scan0017 - 2SBD, @imjustsaying - 2SBD + 2Steem, @mourningnoodles - 2SBD, @armiaaceh - 1.5SBD, @richjr - 1.243 SBD + 1.364 Steem, @puncakbukit - 0.1SBD, @aaarif - 0.20 SBD, @mahendranikum - 0.021SBD, @mineopoly - 5SBD, @fromthebeginning - 4SBD, @lyndsaybowes - 23 Steem + 12.286SBD, @anouk.nox - 3 Steem, @doomsdaychassis - 2SBD + 10 Steem, @chrisroberts - 3SBD, @granolalight - 3SBD, @mineopoly - 1 Steem, @sharanaithal - 1 SBD + 6 Steem, @sparrowbernard - 2 STEEM, @llfarms - 30SBD + 34.54 Steem, @lordbutterfly - 5SBD, @pechichemena - 25 Steem, @dandays - 2SBD

Delegations

A big thank you to all those who continue to support us with their delegations.

@ngc - 20,000SP, @roelandp - 15,556SP, @idikuci - 1,000SP, @dj123 - 900SP, @holger80 - 500SP, @take5 - 500SP, @flipstar - 300SP, @gamer00 - 300SP, @buttcoins - 300SP, @amirtheawesome1 - 256SP, @mightpossibly - 250SP, @carlgnash - 200SP, @abh12345 - 200SP, @pechichemena - 200SP, @yesaye - 162SP, @holybranches - 150SP, @bitfiend - 125SP,@diebitch - 100SP, @zenkly - 100SP, @bobaphet - 100SP, @artakush - 100SP, @sluttynsfw - 55SP, @ubongj - 50SP, @groovatti - 50SP, @anouk.nox - 50SP, @doomsdaychassis - 50SP, @davemccoy - 50SP, @rahul.stan - 30SP, @samueldouglas - 25SP, @belemo - 20SP, @kkkkkl - 20SP, @jonsnoww - 10SP, @betavirosis - 10SP, @sisygoboom - 9SP

Please send any donations and SP delegations directly to @comedyopenmic. The more funding we get, the longer it will be possible to run the contest and upvote all you hilarious people.

Important Information
If you see our judges, curators or sponsors comments or posts, please upvote and encourage them. They are giving up their time to help this contest, so if you see these guys around, say hello and give them an upvote:

We are all trying to make this a successful contest to raise participation in #funny and attract more comedians and aspiring comedians to Steem.

This post marks the end of Round 36 and the start of Round 37 of Comedy Open Mic.

Within 24hrs of this post, another post will go out marking the prize recipients. Sorry about the double post, but we need to make sure we have time to enjoy all the entries.

Reddit

Yes, we're on reddit. Come join us and help spread the news to pull more people in to Comedy Open Mic.
https://www.reddit.com/r/DComedyOpenMic/

Come join our discord channel: CLICK HERE and just say hi.

Original Content

If you believe someone has submitted an entry that is not their work, please let the judges know. You can let us know on the discord channel or as a reply to one of our comments. As long as contestants make an effort to produce original content and provide sources for other material we will be happy to accept the entry.

Please note: By entering the Comedy Open Mic Contest you agree to allow Comedy Open Mic to use the content you post in its promotion. Full credit will be given to the author as well as links to the original post in cases where Comedy Open Mic opt to use your material in promotions.

Good Luck and Happy Steeming!!

Click To Vote @ComedyOpenMic For Witness And Disrupt The Steem Blockchain With Laughter!
Support COM Banner

Thank you to @matytan for the great banner

@ComedyOpenMic is the Proud Sponsor of @ProjectGiving
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@ProjectGiving uses the power of the Steem Blockchain to raise exposure and funds for small scale non-profit initiatives around the world. Click on the banner to learn more about this week's fundraiser for: Yokaenso, a Tanzanian non-profit which seeks to create an ecologically sustainable community.

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New round? Lets get to it then.

Dirty heaven rhymes with 37. I refrained last week when the base wOrd was 36. Dirty di... well, that’s why I refrained.

Round 37 Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi @comedyopenmic!

Your post was upvoted by @steem-ua, new Steem dApp, using UserAuthority for algorithmic post curation!
Your UA account score is currently 5.788 which ranks you at #395 across all Steem accounts.
Your rank has improved 3 places in the last three days (old rank 398).

In our last Algorithmic Curation Round, consisting of 236 contributions, your post is ranked at #59.

Evaluation of your UA score:
  • You've built up a nice network.
  • The readers appreciate your great work!
  • You have already shown user engagement, try to improve it further.

Feel free to join our @steem-ua Discord server

hello this is my presentation for @comedyopenmic, I hope you like it and are interested in the story:
It's 7:00 am, it's a cloudy and cold morning, an intense drizzle falls on the city, at that moment a beautiful woman goes towards the subway station, when arriving there she stops at the platform, there is a long queue of people to enter the train, all want to reach their different destinations. In that the train arrives, a slide is formed, everyone wants to pass, they push each other, they beat each other until finally the beautiful woman gets into the car, when suddenly she feels a hand running through her thigh, she wants to scream, but she is afraid she can barely move because of the tumult of people so big that she is in the car, she tries to move again, but someone continues to touch her thigh is a very embarrassing situation, she begins to get hot, the movement of the hand, she is confused by intimidation, she is somehow invaded by something that she cannot define....
She decides to stay calm to see what happens, there is not much to reach her destination station, she only has to wait a few minutes, in that to identify the person who is touching her thigh, feels that the hand rises cautiously, sounds the bell that indicates the stop is approaching, she is recomposed and manages to leave, this suffocated.
When she is out of the car, she realizes that the cell phone she had hidden in her trouser pocket was stolen, she cries in disconsolation and the surveillance of the station approaches her, and asks what happened to her: they robbed me, she answered
Why didn't you notice? The watchman asks.
If the woman answers, but I thought it was something else, that she had found love.
https://steemit.com/comedyopenmic/@aiskelzurita/comedy-open-mic-comedy-contest-round-37

I love how 37 comes straight after 36.
It just makes so much sense to me :)
Peace.

Great looked forward to the round #37