Child Abuse Poem.. My nightmares

I slowly take my last breath, life's squeezing out of Me. The more I want to be Born, The More it's Killing Me!

I'm strangled by the umbilical chord but My life was mine to keep, as they free me from my mothers womb and there's my Dad to meet!

I have My Mothers British Lips. My Nose is like My Dads, I'm Browner then My older Sis and We both have curly strands

We're both legitimate offspring. Our Parents are in Love. My Mummy was a Younger Bride, She's Daddy's little Love

To all the Local Neighbours we look really quite the part. Cooked Meals, Clean Clothes and Family Life. Cozy Beds at Night! Then comes out Baby Sister, My Daddy's other Toy. What a perfect end. To Start a game to Pride His Joy.

My Innocence was STOLEN by the urges of a thief. A Monster lives at My House and My Dad gives me the Creeps. No one Comes to save Me, and Daddy says it's fine. He says it something all Dads do - A natural part of life.

I'm sore from all the friction, but I'm used to being Me. I know My purpose in life, it's been the same since I was 3. I've learned that if I make a fuss,- The nightmares last much longer. I swear it's as if my teary eyes make daddy's pleasures stronger.

I've thought of telling Mumma but my Daddy said She knows. He said that if we complain we'll get sent to a nasty home. He said I'll never see my sisters and the men in there are worst, he said stop being selfish I should put my family first!

I know complainings naughty, he looks at me in disgust. Shannel be like your sisters, They never make a fuss. If you loved me you'll make me happy, then daddy will get you treats. But if you don't then you'll be punished, so you better keep me sweet!

My Daddy isn't always bad, it's only when he's needy, other times he treats my sisters better than he treats me! I know if I hadn't made a fuss, this morning when he said; come over here and give your old dad, a cuddle in this bed.

I sometimes see my sisters, get punished the same way. on the days when I'm a good girl, When they didn't play his game. He does it when mummy's shopping or sleeping in her bed; He doesn't want to wake her, He'll crawl into one of the kiddies beds instead!

I sleep tangled in my bedsheets, I tie them between my legs. I sleep with one eye open and it's hard to shake the dread. The creaking of the floorboards are muted by my fear, bang bang bang my heart goes I wish I wasn't here! He touches me and whispers the most disgusting verbal slime, The kind of thing you'd share with a woman but not your daughter that's just 9!

I'm always tired at school coz, I don't sleep much at night, but I know if I do well in school one day I'll be alright. I'll live in a big White House and take my family, Eventually I started to understand I needed to break free. I knew that Jesus loved me, He always had my back, But I never questioned why he wouldn't just save me from my Dad.

The stress is taking over, I'm all mixed up inside. My hair is covered in bald patches from the horrors in my mind. Even my hair can't stand me, Alopecia saves it's days, it makes my face look ugly when it takes my locks away. My condition isn't catching, it's triggered by severe stress. But No-one even bothered to ask if life was really blessed?

I'm ten years old

I don't know who I really am, I know Nothing about me; Except that from the day that mum and dad gave life to me.. That I wasn't here to want, I wasn't here to think. My desires wernt important, My existence wasn't Linked. I think it's time to forget my freedom! Just wash away the pain - that's when I learned how good it felt, to cry in the pouring rain. It releases all the traumas, Then instantly gets washed away. That's when I switched on the survival Code, then things slowly took a change!

After suffering a severe mental breakdown. I return to my love of Poetry. It's my way of unraveling my past experiences. I'm thankful to every single one of you for the messages of support I receive in my inbox daily. This is the first Chapter of my memoirs in Poem! My biggest hope is that they inspire others like me to Speak out. We are the survivors- We will Fly to freedom and Live in serenity! Let's carry the pain and use it to educate the world and Break the chains of the lil soldiers still Suffering.

Thanks for reading❤️