Making New Friends Can Be Easy...if You Know How!

Friends... they can bring happiness and sometimes drama to our lives. They are around during the good times and the bad times. I am quite the introvert normally, so making new friends was quite difficult for me while I was growing up. This was because I didn't understand that there is actually a method to making friends. It took til my mid 20's until I did start meeting a ton of new people and I learned how.

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I didn’t have a large group of friends when I was growing up. I despised high school. My parents decided to put me into an accelerated program at a school that was located over an hour away from my home. I had to take public transportation to and from school everyday. I hated high school so much that I bolted out the door every day when the bell rang. I was never a part of an after school activity. I never cared.

Some people look back on high school and think it was the time of their life. Well, I have to say that I wouldn't choose to go back. I wasn’t even bullied. I just hated it. When I graduated I walked off the stage and out the door and barely said bye to anyone. I only had 3 childhood through college friends at my wedding two and a half years ago. The rest were all people I met in my mid 20s! If you want to know how good your friends are, have a destination wedding like I did. You really get to see who is willing to go the distance for you, literally! There are pros and cons to having a destination wedding, but the good things definitely out weigh the bad, and I will write why I would recommend a destination wedding to everyone in a future post! Anyways, back to the topic at hand...

When talking to people I know, one of the main reasons why they feel like they have no friends as an adult is because of their children. Typically you meet your friends before you have children and then you go your separate ways because your time is not your own anymore. You end up forced to be “friends” with your children’s friend’s parents. These are usually people that you have nothing in common with other than the fact that your children like each other. I do not have children but I already understand the problem with that, because it is exactly why I didn’t make more friends in high school.

You need to make friends that have common interests with YOU. It’s possible if I had gotten interested in something that had a community at my high school my experience wouldn’t have been so negative. I was so busy hating school that I never cared to stick around and find people who had similar interests as me. Instead I decided that it wasn’t worth my time.

The other people you are surrounded by day to day are your co-workers, and depending on your work situation you may choose not be close to your co-workers because you want to keep your work life and your private life separate. This doesn't apply to me, since I have worked for myself for over 12 years. I have no co-workers. Chances are I would have very few friends right now if I didn't randomly choose to go out one night 11 years ago!

I accidentally walked into a nightclub on a cold spring night in 2007 and it changed the course of my life. I went on a whim with my husband to a show one night. I had never been to an electronic music show before, nor did I even know what it was. When I walked into the nightclub and heard trance music for the first time, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It was the most beautiful music I had ever heard in my life. The DJs were on an elevated platform. The crowd was going crazy. Their names are Gabriel & Dresden and if you are into the trance scene at all you know who they are.

I went out and bought their CD (yes, I bought a physical CD lol!) and started going to trance shows at the same club. I went for the music initially with only my husband. We knew no one else. We started meeting new people, and joining the community. Trance music was the common link that I found with everyone I met at one of these shows.

That was back in 2007, and I have been to over 500 trance/electronic music shows since. Almost everyone I know now can be traced back to that one night at Vision Night Club. We have traveled to Ibiza, gone on festival vacations, and several of them came to my wedding. I have met hundreds of people from all over the world just due to the fact that we shared one common interest. Trance music.

Had I not walked into the Gabriel & Dresden show that one night, I am not sure where life would have led me. Would I be the same introverted girl with a grudge that I was in high school? More than likely yes, I would be. I work alone, and I spend most of my days by myself with little in person social interaction.

Most people, no matter how introverted or shy they are need some from of social interaction to feel happy. While some friends can bring unnecessary drama to your life...others will enrich your life. You won’t become friends with everyone you meet out and about, but when I meet someone now that I like instantly, I make an effort to get to know them more.

With the internet and the vast amounts of tools at your disposal, there is no reason why you shouldn’t be able to find friends in this day and age. You have value, you have worth, why not share it with new friends? Almost every interest has a community on the internet. It doesn’t matter if you collect vintage toys, or cooking, or even under water basket weaving. There is a community waiting for you, you just need to look for your people!

I have met countless people off the internet in Facebook groups dedicated to trance music. When you see them out at the event later, you remember and go hey! I know you! Being known in a community gives you social value.

I think that meeting people off the internet is great. In fact, that’s how I met my husband. I “met” my husband back in 2003 when I was only 18 years old. He was 19 at the time. We met in an AOL chat room called Chicago #6. Ugh, do I feel old typing that. It turns out we only lived 2 miles away from each other. We chatted online for weeks first, then started calling each other. After that we met in person, and 14 years later….here we are. When we met back in 2003 it was considered creepy to meet someone online. So we lied, and said we met in the mall. Looking back, it seems way more creepy to accidentally meet at the mall these days. That goes to show you how fast society changes.

When I used to explain how Brad (my husband) and I met, I used to get weird looks and questions. (This was before the days of Tinder) I would simply explain it to them. If you go out and meet a random person at a bar, what are the chances that you two will be compatible? With meeting people online you get a sense of who they are even before you have to interact with them in person. You get to vet these people to make sure you want them to be a part of your life.

If you are having a hard time making new friends, sit down and think about what your interests and talents are. Seriously! Think about it! You want to meet people with similar interests as you. Then come back and read the second half of my post. (Which I will post later today!)

In the second part of this post I will go into more detail and examples of great places where you can get involved and meet new people! I hope you will check it out here!

If enjoyed reading my post I hope you will follow me and give me the honor of your up-vote! I look forward to comments you might have for me in the comment section below. I am also always on the lookout for other Steemit users who share my interests!

-Emily