TherapysteemCreated with Sketch.

in #blog7 years ago (edited)

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I need to write and share a part of myself every single day. If I do not it typically means that my mental shit is starting to reaccumulate on my path. If I'm not sharing frequently it generally means that I'm backsliding into worrying what others may think. I start second-guessing what, with whom and where I should share. This same phenomenon is reflected in my home... when my counter tops begin piling with papers and furniture to let go of starts accumulating in the hall. Analysis paralysis. Gluts and backlogs. Bottle necks

Say it.
Share the words, the images...

Let it go.
Let it go.
Let it go.

Flow.
Just Be...

Model is me. Photo credit to @sean-king.

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I saw your comment about how some people are wired to worry more than others. I wonder about that. How much of worry could also change over time via nurture, exposure therapy, positive reinforcement, etc, etc.

Can people change?

Yes, I think so.

Can a person change? I don't know. That's a difficult question we don't yet have the understanding of the human brain to answer.

I hope the answer is yes for those who want change. I also hope more people take a healthy stance of knowing themselves for who they are and not judging "what is" beyond positive motivation towards helpful change.

Absolutely I believe that people can change… To some extent. I certainly have changed! That's really the point of my blog post here, although perhaps I didn't explain myself very well.

I need to write and share who I am on a regular basis or else my old demons of hiding and worrying about what other people think come back. That is how I am wired biologically. Just like there are introverts and extroverts, there are people who naturally give less shits about what other people think (like Sean), and then those of us who are wired to ever be scanning and planning and wary of what other people might think.

Trust me, I am not advocating that anyone should Live trying to appease others . Or that We can't change. I work my ass off every day trying to stay clear seeing, give less shits, stay well and balanced. But there is an anxious element in me that will probably always be there. I work my ass off every day trying to stay clear of seeing, give less of shit's, stay well and balanced. But there is an element in me that will probably always be there. The worry demon. Thus I continue to post. This is my work.

That's an interesting balance between accepting what is and working to change what you can. I wonder, if after a period of time, neuroplasticity will kick in and change your fundamental nature to lose that worry completely? I think about how I wasn't much of a touch-love person before marrying Corinne. Her love language is touch and so I learned it, adopted it, and it has become part of myself now. I wonder if the things we think are unchangeable about our personality (extrovert, introvert, worrier, etc) might actually be moldable over time. Maybe not, but I wonder. I'm curious if the change of address you'll have next year will bring about any other long-term changes.

Not terribly surprised by this... but this resonates so deeply with me. I'll notice when I'm feeling depressed or anxious that I suddenly disappear off social media for a while. I'm still watching and liking my friends stuff... but I'm not coming up with my own content. I'm hoping that steemit can help change this habit. I feel this is much more of a safe space to share the true depths of who I am as opposed to IG or FB where the people I have following me on there I really know.... and I know them. Most of them would never judge me for a thing but some of them would. So I just shut down.

I feel that way too sweet friend. Except that my parents are here on steemit. LOL 😂

we didn't want them to miss this opportunity so we help them get set up. They don't post often so far, I don't know how much they really search around or if they even know how to find us. They have asked, but we warned them that we're not sure they want to see.... and They seem to leave it at that. Plus ultimately I have decided to stop hiding who I am in all aspects. I mean, I'm not putting crotch shots on here... I like to keep it tasteful… but I will no longer hide that I'm very open-minded intellectually, sexually, with relationships, etc. it's not wrong to be that way, only different from what people are used to.

That's very nice picture.
Did you take it by yourself?

no one should ever worry about what others think about them.... that is totally wrong

Totally agree.

Let me tell you a story. Once upon a time an old wanderer and his grandson with a donkey were walking through the desert. As they approached the city, The old man got on a donkey.People seeing it started talking. How could this man allow a small boy to wander the desert without letting him get on a donkey? As they rode to another town they changed roles, This time the child rode on a donkey and the old man wandered on foot l. People seeing that they began to comment on how the child can let the old man walking on foot. After all, he is the youngest he could walk. He must be soulless.
When they went to the last, third town, none of them was on a donkey. People saw this at once commented. They must be stupid! How can one not use a donkey for riding and walk instead?
Moral of this is simple.
No matter what we do and so people judge us anyway, so let's just do our thing.

I remember hearing Sadhguru tell this story. Thanks for the reminder.

thats a nice story and that is totally right. i am a free person and so i don't have to care about what other people thinking........

Thank you.
We just can't satisfy everyone.

thats right and everybody needs to acknowledge that

Some of us are just more highly wired for worrying. It is not wrong or right. It just is and we deal with who we are.

you can never be who you are if you are always prioritizing other people's choice instead of your own......

great job my friend

who is the model in the photo

I am the model. Photo credits most always to my beloved @sean-king 🙏🏽

Another post, that really touches me. On many levels... the first one, of course the picture. As usual, I studied it in full view and overall find it very calming. I like the kind of symmetry, with the figure just off the middle. A composition I like to use in my work as well. I notice your hair is shorter than a few days ago.

Next, the issue of second guessing and worrying... seem to have a certain problem there as well. I have enjoyed our past conversations very much. To the point, that I could get worried, how you might have perceived things. Or if I got carried away and made an idiot out of myself, or alienated @sean-king with something I did or said... things like that!

I think, when one has something beautiful, one is naturally afraid, that it could go away and of course one could get somehow... paranoid(?) that one could actually cause that by mistake. So, one gets worried and anxious. Its only natural, and the more sensitive you are, the more you have an antenna for everything that could be jeopardized.

A long time ago I was in a situation, where I was with a friend in Indianapolis and extremely nervous about something that was very important to me at the time. My friend was quite a bit older, funny and really smart. He felt sorry for me and said, worrying is most likely not going to help. He suggested, that if I thought it would, we should both lay down on the floor and roll around worrying and he'd support me in it for as long as I thought, it would take. Still laughing about it today and although it didn't solve my problem, it changed my attitude... at least a little :-)

So, even if it may sound silly and if I read into things... maybe its because seeing is my job (or the turpentine).. I see yet another "coincidence" in both our posts today, thinking of... "turned towards the light"...

The image is from our trip to Kauai 2 years ago...shorter hair for me then. :) it was a spectacular sunset that we enjoyed from a little deserted and secluded beach. That night the light and the mood were magical.

I guess many of us suffer needless worries. Your concerns here are unwarranted, but I know well those fears of offending a new friend, revealing too much, or just the eager angst of finding a friend who you like so much that attachment, and therefore fear of loss, creep into the situation. Sean nor I have ever been offended or offput by our conversations with you. I am so happy our paths crossed here and delight in the hope of continuing our comment chats!

If/when I go silent periodically on Steemit, or other social media, it's only that life gets busy, or as I say here that my own darkness has creeped in and I'm dealing with that. It's almost never that someone's comment or attention has offended me. Certainly not yours...you are full of praise and that's very mutual between us.

Btw "turning towards the light" is a much better title for this image vs "therapy". 👌🏼 i

Thank you so very much for your kind reply, so beautifully worded.

It is only natural, that one isn't online all the time and I understand quite well, when other things demand their attention or when one just isn't in the right frame of mind.

I'm usually offline when I travel and enjoy the "luxury" of being literally out of reach. Like a few days this week on a trip to Poland and a stop in Prague on the way back. Prague is only 130 miles away and to me one of the most beautiful and magical cities in the world... started to really miss our conversations though! 🤗

Prague is a special place. So much history beautifully preserved. We were lucky enough to visit there for a few days in 2003.

Completely agree! 2003 you say? You'd be surprised how much it changed. I was there the first time in 1990, right after the borders opened. Still had to stand in line for some bottled water and the restaurants ran out of beer... in Prague, of all places!! We had exchanged the then equivalent of some 30$ and could not spend that in a day, and hardly anything was renovated.

Today its almost too crowded, but we know our little secret places by now and still discover something new, every time we go there.

hihi sweetheart! \(^○^)人(^○^)/

I know the feeling!... I wasn't leaving out or shall I say (freeing?!?!) my inner creativity... so that meant it was bottling up inside me, I hadn't been feeling well.. but no way was that helping either.. it was that niggling feeling eating away at the back of my mind.. kind of like a TAP TAP .. 'I know you are there' sensation!

I am very happy to be back here on your lovely page, which always leaves me with the feelings of encouragement!

I am glad to of stopped by again and be greeted with a photo that is filled with confidence and beauty- and that is both the horizon and the foreground xx
& if sharing is your therapy than I salute you and say a great big thank you too... as I always feel uplifted by your words, I guess you can say they are a remedy of upliftness ;)
lovely to stop by again :]

Try to be yourself better, than to impose so others finally we burdened. Not everything we do should be in accordance with the wishes of others, sometimes we should also be trying to capitalize on the State to find our true identity.

Most of us are imposing something must comply with our wishes or in other words we are too selfish, not all good sometimes freedom is also very necessary. Keep working the open-@steemed-open.

Regards

@safwaninisam

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