This is a tough subject for me, my mother was very influential in my upbringing and I dislike that I took that for granted. My mother’s name was Donna and she grew up as a farm girl. Second oldest of many siblings if you understand what that entails.

In my last therapist appointment I was given homework, think of seven things that I’m grateful for(this is #3) while staying away from negative thoughts. I figure what better way of doing my homework then writing a blog about it which I can use as a reference for my therapist. My therapist also added stipulations such as thinking why your grateful for said thing, I am grateful for “blank” because it had “blank” affect on my life.

It was fairly difficult to find a photo of my mother, she was always the one behind the camera. I have tons of photos of myself as a child but only the odd couple of my mother, I can faintly remember her getting out of the shots. Sadly she passed away before I had any interest in taking pictures but I am certainly glad she was always fond of taking them. I believe my artistic side comes from my mother, she always encouraged me to create things. My mother having grown up on a farm learned that anything could be an art piece with enough imagination and she installed that within me.

My mother was a beautiful sole, selfless in so many ways. From everything I remember and what I have been told I was number one in her books and everything else came secondary. If there is only one thing I can say about her it’s that she was always there for me, no body messed with mama bear. I get my don’t piss me off attitude from my mother, not in a bad way but more in a demanding the respect deserved.

I can remember her being one of the most driven people I have ever known, if she wanted something done it was going to be done or there would be hell to pay. She was firm yet kind, passionate yet strong, tough yet easy going. My mother had a way about her that always seemed to captivate a room in the same way I find myself the centre of attention yet neither her nor I really enjoy the attention.

She was the oldest of her siblings still on the farm and learned the traits of being a motherly figure very early in life. I am her second son with my older brother being from a broken home and extremely rebellious she wanted to keep me close and give me that family upbringing she wished for him. She was a very spiritual lady and that strength of faith was passed onto me without myself even being aware of it. I can remember the first and only time she brought me to church, it didn’t go well. She wasn’t about to push her beliefs upon me rather when I was stirring the pot asking questions of the other kids myself not understanding she asked “what do you believe?” I replied “isn’t god like Santa Claus something people grow out of?” I wasn’t raised with religion so I had no concept of faith in something greater then myself. We ended up leaving before the service was over and I never really heard about it again. She wanted me to discover the world and create my own views of it, always provoking those deeper questions and allowing me to freely express my developing opinions. She empowered my freedom of thought through her faith without pushing the constraints of religious text on me at a young age shaping me to be very open minded and receptive of new ideas. I can remember her always telling me “there are no stupid questions only stupid answers”.

My mother taught me how to be compassionate and shared with me her overwhelming empathy for others. She would help anyone how ever she could even at her own detriment, I am much like this myself. I remember once when my father was being extremely tight with our budget(we were not well off) and I had a paper route, I hurt my knee pretty bad and needed stitches. My mother unknown by my father was driving me around on my paper route, picking me up from school and literally taking me house to house just so I wouldn’t loose the route while I was injured she even did the route completely by herself a few times before picking me up from school. She made a game out of it starting on higher ground rolling the car as far as she could with the engine off between houses and even recruited some of my friends to help taking us for ice cream afterwards. I remember the arguments that came afterwards but she never once let the secret out as to where the gas was going, she always put me first.

My mother was a brilliant lady and an excellent reader, she absorbed books like I did candy. I have a similar ability to be able to scan an article and pull the important information typically at a glance though this didn’t develop until my later years I remember her teaching me the skill very young. I remain a quick study for new things because of her emphasis on thinking outside the box “no new ideas come from thinking with your head in a box” was how she would phrase it.

I believe even my abilities as a baker largely have to do with how she raised me, always helping in the kitchen. I was able to cook very early but preferred baking as that always resulted in sweets. She taught me how to handle dough making pirogies and other hearty farm type meals. I never had to do anything more than I wanted, “ok go play” she would say when I would start to get restless. I have a natural ability to handle dough, comes in handy being a career baker. She even used to sing me the “bakers man song” exchanging the “paddy cakes” verse for “camy cakes”, I wonder if this was a little bit of intuition on her part. I never did get the chance to show her what I made of myself as a baker but I did bring many pastries I created by hand to her service, I know she would have been extremely proud to see me become a baker taking after what she taught me from a young age.

My mother brought me into this world and encouraged my inquisitive nature supporting any questions I had with a quest for knowledge. She installed within me an understanding of other people and their needs and encouraged empathy from myself. She was a devoted mother always coming to bat for me and I wouldn’t be the same as I am today had she not raised me to be a “good man” and for all of this I am grateful.

I Love You Mom

May You Rest In Piece Knowing Camy Is A Bakers Man

Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!!!

Thats it @d00k13 OUT

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