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Our autistic children look normal and so when they behaved inappropriately in public other people are quick to jump to the conclusion that they are spoilt, over-indulged or that we are not good parents. This issue is not faced by me alone but by parents of other autistic children as well. While most may just stared, some gave unsolicited advice. This can be quite exasperating especially when you are in the midst of trying to calm the child in the middle of a meltdown.

One of my earliest experience of my autistic son Jonathan’s embarrassing behavior happened when he was around 6 years old. At that Jonathan has already been toilet trained and he knew that he has to go to the toilet or potty if he wanted to go to the toilet. We were at a shopping complex, and in one of the shops there were some potty displayed on the floor. Suddenly without warning, Jonathan unzipped his pants and urinated into the potty in full view of the public. One woman gasped and exclaimed “Ge O Nio” in Hakka which meant he urinated. We left the shopping complex in a hurry and immediately went home. It was an embarrassing situation and I felt embarrassed by the incident. However I am not ashamed of Jonathan. Overall, Jonathan is quite obedient and also charming in his own way with a beautiful smile. He has tried to put on his best behavior on most occasions. Whatever odd behavior that he may display is not due to his own doing but is attributed to his condition being autistic. Therefore I not ashamed of him or of who he is and despite this and other embarrassing incidents, my wife Roselind and I have continued to bring him out in public and he will usually accompanies us wherever we go.

As the father of an autistic son, this is the message that I want to get across to the whole world. People with autism are very different in different ways especially in their behavior. Not only are they different from those of us who are not autistic, but an autistic person is also very different from another autistic person. People with autism may exhibit self-stimulating behavior which may be odd, they communicate differently and they expressed their emotions very differently. Although people with autism seem to be in their own world, they seek to connect with others in their own unique ways. There is also a misconception that people with autism are unable to learn. In reality, we have not found a way to teach them so that they can learn.

However just because people with autism are different and behave differently, this does not mean that they are any less than others. They have feelings, want to be loved and in their own ways are able to contribute to society. It has been my sincere hope that society as a whole is able to see above and embrace these differences. Individual with autism should be given the opportunities to lead happy and fulfilled lives.

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Do check out my previous posts.

Positive Reflections: Don’t Let Your Post Defeat You But Let Your Past Defined You
Are You Searching? (An Original Poem)
Positive Reflections: What Minor Changes Can You Make That Can Have Major Impact In Your Life?
7 Fundamental Truths That Will Change Your Life Part 2
7 Fundamental Truths That Will Change Your Life Part 1

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Charles

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