Dreaming about the Ex years after the separation – what does it mean?

in art •  9 months ago


Credit: Pixabay

Below is a series of similar dreams from different people. Their questions and my answers may help you too, especially if you are stuck in thoughts about an Ex lover.

Dreamer A: "I'm 27 years old Single. I had a boyfriend for four years, we broke up after he betrayed me. Since then I have not stopped dreaming of him, and I always want him back while he does not (I think that even though four years have passed I still love him)."

Are you two still in touch (in reality, not in a dream)?

Dreamer A: "Yes, I'm in touch with the ex, on the phone and once a year we see each other."

These dreams are very natural. After all, he's in your thoughts, you keep in touch by telephone and even meet once a year (a meeting, I suppose, you're looking forward to). You still love him and feel him so of course he remains in your dreams.

I will make the point clearer - dreams have many layers. One of them is a world in which our awake thoughts, aspirations and desires are represented in images and semi-dream events. The glue from which the building blocks of the dream world are constructed is our emotions and to a lesser extent the thoughts. And so, you still dream of the ex, although four years have passed since the separation. And again, it's natural - the dream merely represents your inner world. The moment you release yourself from the Ex your dreams of him will cease. Then, other potentials will be allowed to enter your life, that are new relationships with other men.

Now, it is important to note that on another level, your Self (Soul) can use the same thoughts and feelings you have about the Ex to enter your dream world, to communicate with you and send you their love. This is the simplest and easiest way because your mind already recognizes the image of the Ex and therefore will be willing to accept love from your soul in this manner. You see, if there appear a strange entity in your dream that you did not know, it would be hard for you to open up to it the way you open your heart to the Ex.

Many people think that if they dream of a past partner then it is a sign that they should be together, that those partners are their "one". The truth is simpler and less dramatic. Dreams are just a representation of your inner world. There is no such thing as predestined fate and therefore it is you who determine what will happen. If you keep sticking to the ex, that's what it will be. If you disconnect from him, your reality will change accordingly.

Dreamer A: "It's fascinating, but sometimes I have the feeling that he is the one, even though I will never be with him for a thousand reasons. Maybe that's why my dreams about him"?

I know what you mean but understand - your thought that he is "the one" is just an illusion created by your mind. And right now, because you are captive within this illusion your dreams represent it.

credit - Pixabay

A follow up question from another Dreamer:

Dreamer B: "I also have recurring dreams about my Ex. I have been married for six years with children. I know that I still love him, not romantically but more on the mental. In the dreams he always comes back to me, to ask that I'd accept him back, although it was he who broke up with me in reality. In the dreams I reject him. I refuse to have him. In the last dream in particular the situation got weirder as another two EXs appeared, one wearing a red shirt and the other an Ex from my childhood who is still dear to me. However, the most significant problem here is the significant Ex that returns often in my dreams. He is married now and I am married too, and I do not understand why I think about him even though I know that a relationship could not have succeeded between us."

As said, every dream has a number of layers, and that is how I will relate to yours:

  1. On the more etheric level, dreams symbolize communication with your soul level in order to encourage you to go within and to begin/deepen your relationship with the soul. For this reason, other Exes also appeared, so you'd not be locked on one character and rather allow the notion itself to infiltrate.
  2. In another reality you did choose the connection with the Ex. Perhaps you even married him and established a relationship. And now, In the dream, you push him away so as not to sabotage your current relationship. The other reality penetrates the present reality through the dream. For what purpose? To give your weary mind an answer to the question "what if". There is absolutely no message here to leave your current spouse! Many people falsely think that if they leave their partner the desire, passion and vividness, will return. What actually happens is that they experience a temporary burst of emotions but after a while the situation returns to regular. Understand, passion erupts from within and continues to flow thanks to a steady interaction between you and your Soul. The dreams, in their psychic level, come to tell you that your natural ability to feel has not disappeared, that the emotions of falling in love that you have felt in the past are still there and you can expose them.

Another follow-up question in this topic –

Dreamer C: "I wanted to consult about recurring dreams about my ex-boyfriend.
We have been together for almost two years and parted two and a half years ago. He was my first love and serious relationship, and therefore it was hard for me to cut him off from my life. After the separation, which I initiated, we continued to meet occasionally. A year ago, he started a relationship with someone new, a connection that continues to this day. Finding out about it was hard and sad; the way he chose to tell me about it – a SMS message - was humiliating and hurtful. Since that point I have thought about them a lot and dreamed about them. In the dreams, both of them are together and talking to me. While he is indifferent and nonchalant I am agitated. I do not know why he haunts me in my dream. Since I found out that they are together both have appeared together in my dreams

He does not chase you in your dreams but on the contrary. It is you that cannot detach and therefore during the dreams your consciousness "sends" probes to find out what the situation is. And the answer is the same - he is in a new relationship. Move on. Do not get stuck in the past, but move on. Understand, that if you separate from someone, let him go. If he is your "one", the universe will find the way to bring him back to you at a time when the two of you are readier for each other; and if not, then someone else will come and bring with him a greater love. It's hard to do but really there's no other way.

And the last follow-up question under this thread –

Dreamer D: "I dreamed that my Ex (we broke up only a month ago after four years together) is kissing another man while I'm on a date with them. While they seem to be nice to me and in love with each other she is not ashamed to express her affection. In the second consecutive dream she was with another man in our bed in our past bedroom (I was the one who left the house). Then she had sex with him while I was in the living room fixing her TV. I entered the bedroom and again, she was not embarrassed at all".

Such a dream, as always, can have several possibilities based in the reality. Without additional info it's almost impossible to pinpoint one but I'll come up with an idea: Since the separation is fresh and the two of you are thinking of each other, you are still in each other's energetic field. Therefore, the dream on the one hand can reflect a true happenings, that is your Ex has a new partner who already might have been around ("in the picture") even before your official separation (= "In our bed, in the room that was mine"). Television symbolizes your need to know what is going on in your life, to watch it. Try to characterize the emotions that arose in your dream when you saw the Ex with someone else - were you jealous - in relation to your thoughts about your present and future life. The answers will come up.

Describe your own dream in the comments below, explain what bothers you, and I may explain it.

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@bitton You are welcome to follow me. In time I'll publish many more posts about similar dreams and conscious relationships.

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I also had dreams of my ex even 3 years after the breakup. We don't run into each other often but we have the same circle of friends so we get to catch up one way or another. At first I was questioning the irony of him being in my dreams but I agree that I am the only writer of my destiny so the possibility of us getting back together is minimal to zero. Thank you so much for sharing this, it helps a lot. :)


👍glad I could help!