Mansplaining: Thoughts on it from a man.
As much as I like to inspire positivity I also enjoy heavy discussion and critical thinking, so I'm going to divert slightly from the normal awesomeness and challenge everyone to think and discuss on a slightly higher level.
Here we go.
Have you seen the trend that's hitting social media right now?
"Mansplaining."
I don't know what social circles you might be in, but as I write and receive feedback on my other mediums it's becoming quite apparent that mansplaining is a definite up and coming term.
I had to search google for the term because it isn't referenced in any of my dictionaries. It couldn't be, it's a relatively new idea. Google told me:
Mansplain
manˈspleɪn/verbinformal gerund or present participle: mansplaining
- (of a man) explain (something) to someone, typically a woman, in a manner regarded as condescending or patronizing.
"I'm listening to a guy mansplain economics to his wife"
And whilst I actually get where women are coming from (I really do), because there are some men in society that deem themselves the ultimate point of all knowledge in the universe, and yes, I also know a few of these men too. But let us not forget the fact that women are extremely prone to this too.
I was in the grocery store a couple of years back when my Son was barely able to walk, and, I was fitting him into the seats of the shopping trolley. Being the little tyke that he normally is with me he was giggling and making my life difficult. Before I could do anything a woman came over to me, without asking, grabbed his legs and forced him into the chair. Then laughed, shook her head and walked away. As she left she chuckled to herself,
"Men!"
So without asking me if I was struggling, or that what I was doing was too hard a feat for my tiny little man mind when it comes to parenting, she assumed I was a complete tool and took over. One word?
'Womansplaining!'
Yes, they do it too, and I've been at the receiving end of it many times. My last job, I was the only man in the office, and the amount of times it was assumed I couldn't do an activity based on my gender was incredible. They say it doesn't exist, but it does.
And whilst I support the feminist movement, because I do, I really think that the movement is being bastardised into something far more different than it was originally intended for.
To me the Feminist movement is the embracing of all genders for the betterment of humanity, to better women, and men equally - to use each other as a support network.
Now it feels as if it's a method to demonise men in order to achieve gains for women.
Now don't get me wrong here. There are millions, literally millions of supportive, awesome women out there who are bastions for men, and equally the same can be said for millions of men, but we shouldn't get lost in translation here, the fact of the matter is, these words and phrases exist because people have created them.
And I'd love to see a more unified species, rather than one that looks to judge and discriminate others based on gender of all things, something that's a hard feat to change.
So let's look to the future. Instead of coining shitty phrases that demeans gender, let's look towards education. It all starts with education. We're never born racist, or prejudiced, I'm all for talking about these things that are difficult to talk about.
Peace out :)
Here's my favourite definition of the word "mansplaining": "It's a word that's used."
(By the way, both of these politicians are probably awful people, but I think Fifield was right in pointing out the hypocrisy here)
I think he was right too - he had a fair point, but he conveyed it in a shitty way. She hurt his ego, he needs to get over it!
But yeah, you're also right that both of them seemed (to me) to be particularly shitty people lol!
"Now it feels as if it's a method to demonise men in order to achieve gains for women."
It doesn't feel as if it's a method to demonise men. It HAS become a method to demonise men and only seek the welfare of women and women only.
I agree with you there. There's a lot I come across today that just makes me feel bad, and being a self-proclaimed progressive man it should make me feel like I want to do more.
I can understand those feelings. I am more of a conservative on the political spectrum, and wouldn't quite identify as a progressive, so our experience, I think, could be different. Regardless, I do feel a duty to my fellow humans, to be respectful, honorable, and caring. However, if you start believing all of this "microagression" baloney, you will either implode on yourself with shame, or feel like you should become "callous" and discount this perspective. There is no way you can implement someone's recommendations for your behaviour when they basically condemn everything you are and do - apart from dying. Which, let's face it, some radical feminists have advocated.
My biggest frustration with the movement is the abhorrent anti-intellectuality of modern feminism. You cannot disagree with a woman without being potentially accused of misogyny, but women can use terms like "mansplaining" willy nilly and never be taken to task over it. Feminists will go on for hours about how they are "silenced" by the "patriarchy", but you can't have a moderately intelligent conversation challenging their opinions without being told to be quiet, because you're a man and can't possibly understand anything about anything. The overt sexism, racism, and heterophobia of feminists towards white, straight men can only lead me to conclude that they are either too self-righteous to admit they have faults, or that they are too lazy intellectually to assess the weaknesses and hypocrisy of their own position.
Bam. Right there!
Well articulated. In a far better way than I could ever have done. And you're right, I get absolutely furious when I come across facebook pages with their sole purpose to shame men with their dating techniques. Granted, some of the examples are far out there, and those sites are generated for entertainment value. But these people tend to forget that a high proportion of men are good, decent, well-meaning men. It's a balance, in every variety there's always going to be an extreme fringe element.
And if I were to start a Facebook page on the shitty things women do? Because I've met some shitty women in my life that have done really shitty things, I'd be a sexist bastard right off.
However I understand that basing my reality on the fringe element is psychotically stupid and doesn't represent the masses :)
I like the equal time. I guess there should be a word for it, but I do hear women use it inappropriately more often than not as a pussy pass.
Interesting - what's a pussy pass? :)
When people give someone a pass based on gender. Such as when women are granted special social privilege because they are a woman. Exmple: I can't argue with her, she's cute and I'd hate to upset her.
Interesting :)
You have no idea how much this pussy-pass, which is actually a new term to me, goes on. Like I am writing a book just so I can list all the things I used to be able to get away with as a woman that I can't anymore since I am perceived as a man. You'd be surprised how many things are let slide, just so that the girl won't get pissed off. Sometimes because she's cute, but sometimes because she has the advantage of being seen as a victim. If you are a man and a woman is pissed at you that is very dangerous, very.
Sounds like another awful gendered term haha. I think he was referring to, something that only women can get away with, because people are generally nicer to women.
Ah! That's interesting. Definitely another discussion we could have sometime :)
@lifeisawesome, this is the way life goes. if you're caught doing something in a way that is outside the norm. If it's frowned upon by others, you're always relieved from that duty.
I have mastered limited responsibility, by playing an idiot. It's also a great way to get women to notice you. I have purposely said things or did things in a way to make people laugh, and women love a man with a sense of humor.
Where are all the intelligent women that want us for our brains and not our abs, huh? ;) (see what I did there? lol)
This term is so degrading, mansplaining? Seriously? You are so correct this term must also have its opposite womansplaining because women can be bitches. Women and men are different. Period. We were never meant to be the same, we do have different roles in being parents and providers. It appears these newest terms are forms of social divide created by ugh social justice warriors and spouted mostly by angry women and insecure men looking for approval by these angry women. I have four boys to raise on my own and I will be damned if I would ever degrade them as who they are by using a term like mansplaining. They should never be made to feel any less than who they are by anyone else. This whole third wave feminism is victimising women and placing men as the villian. I clearly have some strong feelings regarding this subject lol
Here here!
Your boys will thank you when they are older - seriously. I was raised to believe that a man needs to be chivalrous towards women and service their needs. In the end I became a subservient and insecure man to aggressive and controlling women. Horrible :/
I'd love to see a post on this fitmama - let's get the discussion on healthy relationships started! :D
if you're a white hetero male.
it's your fault.
no matter what 'it' is.
get used to the Brave New World
Interesting perspective - can you elaborate a bit on that?
If I did it would be 'my fault'
I can't bear the guilt.
It's true; a hetero dude who is white could lose a lot more, be socially ostracized, for seemingly un-PC comments.
This is true also. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt - because there's always a place of harshness that the un-PC ideals stem from
Let me Transplain something for you and anyone who still has any doubt, men don't mansplain any more than women womansplain. I know because I've had to deal with each sex being perceived as the opposite.
That's hugely interesting! I'd love to know more about this!
I plan to write more about it. People tend to have an easier time seeing what the other is doing wrong than what they themselves are doing wrong. We tend to be more critical of men speaking about how they wish women could change than women speaking about how they wish men could change. I've been accused of mansplaining a lot because I've taken to try to explain why guys do the things they do, since I have a slightly different perspective. If I don't paint men in general or manhood as oppressive/violent someone would accuse me of mansplaining. This term is most definitely used as a coercion mechanism
On most of that I agree, apart from the Transexual part - as I'm entirely ignorant on that subject. Mind you, I do have a few Transexual friends. It'd be lovely to hear your story :)
I should be writing more about my experiences from transsexualism over time. One of my first posts actually touches on the subject of applying this tech to our potential medical needs. Others briefly mention my experience in society as both genders to make a point on my knowledge of something else. For example, for some reason people bring up their sexual issues to me when they find out that I am trans, so because of that I have a very good sense of what's taboo in sexuality, what people tend to struggle with and why.
There is one thing that really makes people uncomfortable when I speak about it and that is benefits and obstacles for each gender. Because everyone is quick to see the benefits they think the other gender has, but they won't see their own benefits as easily. They are quick to see what their own obstacles are, but have a hard time seeing what the obstacles are for the other gender. I've noticed I get a lot of criticism when I speak of the obstacles men face, but get praised if I speak of the benefits of being perceived as a man. If I speak of the obstacles women face I get praised, but if I speak of the benefits I get criticized.
Often when I speak of the struggles men face people use that word, mansplaining, to try to get me to shut up.
Oh wow. This is a totally awesome insight. I noted in your other comment that you are writing a book. I'd totally buy that just to see what your opinions on it were. Because it's not spoken about.
I would see most of these things as ways to caused diversity within humanity of who is better and who i not, or who is competent and or not. Everybody is different that is why we are noted as an individual, nobody is the same or should be the same. Its true that embedded in our characteristics of been a man there are naturally somethings we are good at, dominance, physical strength, visionaries but just as much as these things are embedded within us so are characteristics of women, ability to cultivate things, turn a house into a home, a seed into a baby, individuals into a family. Understand why we have been designed different is because no person on earth has all the components to life within them, we need each other equally that's the blueprint. Men posses qualities women do note have and vise versa. No one is better than the other.
Well said. Totally agree. In fact this is practically a law I abide by. In gender terms we should both complete one another - be that friendship or intimate-partnership :)
I tried mansplaining once... only once... my gf will never have it again! :)
Bahaha - I explained to my partner what mansplaining was yesterday and she was like, uh, yes, you do that! - but then she does too lol
Mansplaining is a very good term. It describes a reality that is all too apparent for women, and even for me who is a man. Men tend to not belive that women are competent. THis is the whole reason behind mansplaining.
Most feminists, female,male transexuals,intersexuals or whatever, are reasonable.
I myself as a queerfeminist think that gender is a social construct.But we still have to observe the power structures that exist in society.
You are right, of course, that there are certain contexts where women are seen as more competent, for instance childcare.
My best defense for the men, is that they tend to brag and pretend that they know more than they do,even to themselves.
But even more to women.
check out this cuck "womansplaing" to us all. :/
Interesting troll tactics. So basically you try to shame me by associating me with
lack of manliness, and being gay. I found this article, people who want to understand your troll tactics could read up on it:
http://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2016/04/06/why-are-the-internets-worst-people-so-obsessed-with-the-word-cuck/
Btw, all your trolling is on the blockchain. I will be collecting the evidence.
Haha, nothing to do with the post i guees then. LMFAO!
collect away. another stupid stalker. -smh-
I think it is funny that because i used the word cuck you try to lump me in with a group of people.
Good job.
have fun with acting a fool. just proves how people take offence to a stupid fukking word. xD
maby i should have said mansplaining then you would be ok with it? -smh-
https://steemit.com/flaggot/@skeptic/another-proud-flaggot-kooshikoo
You are such a sad little troll.
what ever you have to tell your self to sleep at night. xD
This is definitely what I've experienced. My work sector is largely female orientated with few to little men, and I keep telling people that yes, women have egos too, and women womansplain! Hah.
I too think it's a social construct. Any tag that we have is used to segregate us. I hate it. Why can't we just be human and work together, right? :)
I agree. But we have to acknowledge that there are certain power structures in men´s favour. Men have privilege. It´s important for us to se this.
That does not mean that we should feel guilty, or that women are not guilty of the same things. Of course they are. Women can be dominant, unfair,violent,sexually oppressive,etc.etc.
And men can be kind,passive,caring,etc.
This is obvious. But the fact remains. Men are dominant in society. Men are the norm. Very often you hear men talk, assuming that others are men, when they are making a general statements. http://www.refinery29.com/2015/12/99295/subtly-sexist-comments-to-women
When they speak 50 percent of the time, they are perceived as speaking more.
For reference, read this report on listener bias.
Just one example, I will be happy to give more.
I have myself been angry with feminists seeming to blame me for what men in general do, and this seems really unfair.
I am not all men, I am just me.
I have the impression that you have a similar feeling.
But let´s not let this cloud our judgement.
Definitely. I totally recognise that it's an imbalance. Especially in the upper echelons of society, where most of the dominant figures are rich, white, men. I also recognise my advantage in life in certain areas.
But remember - those of us at the bottom, where we have no audiences to address, and just plod along with our business, are pretty much good intentioned well mannered men. People like you, I and the rest have to go with the flow of patriarchal society, and try it to make it better for others we come into contact with.
I just get angered when I'm tagged with the same brush for being something I can't change lol