ADSactly Short Story - The Time Prisoner
Watching the little boy balance his wares precarious on one shoulder, while he expertly counted the change for the goods bought by his traffic customer, temporarily took Adak's mind off his goal. A few weeks ago, all he could think of was his predicament. He watched mesmerised by how fast the little boy's fingers went through the bills. The deft movements reminded him of witnessing a note counter at the bank flipping through bank notes. The only thing lacking was the mechanical whirring of the machine. Parked in traffic beside the boy, Adak could see the one thousand Naira note from the man who just bought one a product worth ten Naira held out, and he leaned out of the window, dangling the note like bait on a hook.
That was an unwritten rule on trading in road traffic; the buyer retained his money until the seller has provided both the merchandise and the change. This rule came from the fact that the sellers may abscond with the whole amount once the traffic in front cleared and the driver is obligated to move forward. Suddenly the traffic cleared and the vehicle surged forward. The little boy gave chase and seeing he's about to be outrun by the rapidly increasing speed of the bus, flung the notes through the open window. The man on receiving his balance threw out the boy's money back out the same window. Adak couldn't help but clap for the boy. He was momentarily happy to see that the poor boy recovered his money. The passenger cast weird glances on the man for applauding without any clear reason.
He was used to strange stares. People would often cross the road rather than pass by him on the street each time they saw him coming their way. He figured it must be because of his unkempt beard: he was in bad need of a shave. He would have loved one, but there was no time. He had no time to shave. No time for all the niceties of life. Not while his family was on the other side; a place for which his soul yearned. But each visit to the computer hardware store brought him closer to seeing his family again. People can look, for that was a little price to pay for the result he wanted. They could talk, cross the street. None of those mattered to him in the grand scheme of things.
It was finally his bus stop. He walked to the door and did a jump. His jump startled the gentleman who was about to board the bus. Adak grinned at the man's apparent surprise, revealing teeth blackened by kola nut.
Moments later, he arrived at his workshop. A makeshift tent in between an abandoned warehouse and the railway station. A perfect place for a man with a mission. No awkward glances, no human contact except for the trains that passed twice in the day, he was alone. But not for very long. He opened the plastic tent and crawled into it. Inside laid several sketches of the blueprint which he codenamed the Mother Ship. Next to the many scraps of papers lay a thick note. Inside the book were the calculations which took him almost five years. He brought out the hardware he had bought with his last savings. He surveyed his prediction. He did not doubt in his mind that it was correct.
He walked out of the tent which had been his home for all these years of his sojourn. As he stepped out, a picture fell off his pocket. It was charred almost beyond recognition. But he recognised everyone on the image. Kate would be 15 now. Hannah would be 21. And Amy, the love of his life would be 43 in a day. He wiped a tear that suddenly welled up in his eyes. Time. Time imprisons us all he thought. Clumsily, he dragged off the last piece of polythene bag to reveal the contraption he had been secretly building all those years. It looked like an alien ship. But Adak knew that the only strange thing is the people he saw every day.
He opened a latch and crawled in. Carefully, he opened the package to reveal the chip he bought. He plugged it in. It time to go. He pressed the ON button and braced himself for what was coming. He would be where he ought to be, or he would die trying. There was some whirring sound. The machine coughed and died. He got up from his crouching position and fiddled with the switches.
Suddenly, a bright light flashed through the device. It started vibrating. Adak's eyes glazed over with joy. It is happening. He joyfully laid back as the vibration intensified. The cabin became so hot that he felt his skin would peel off. He endured. He was close. A bang. And there was silence.
His neighbours noticed a bright light which was followed by a series of bangs. It must be another robbery attack, they thought. The police were called to investigate the source of the bang near the railway. They arrived and met a strange sight. The completely burnt out area where the local homeless man used to stay. They had offered him shelter several times which he rejected. He had some physiological issues, but since he was not disturbing anyone, they let him be.
The only thing left behind to bear witness to the event that took place in what became a gaping hole were a photograph and a newspaper clip. The clip showed a picture of a well-fed man, smiling, with his arm around a pretty brunette. The duo was looking intently at the camera with two young girls who looked very much like the brunette standing on either side of them. They all had the same beautiful smile.
The faded newspaper from years ago had a headline: A Mystery Fire Killed A Family of Three. Father Missing.
The detectives at the scene did not give much attention to these two items. One of them thought the man that was looking at the camera, somewhat bore a resemblance to the homeless squatter at the location of the fire incidence. But he gave it no more thoughts as they wondered what caused the fire and where the homeless man could have gone.
Authored by @greenrun
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I've been caught up in your magnificent tale, @greenrun. Although it tells a story marked by a certain sadness and pain - the one produced by the loss of loved ones experienced by the main character and his condition as an outcast from society - it conveys an inner peace and even happiness (to use a few words try to express what it produced) given the transposition achieved by Adak (curious: almost Adan) in his life, at the end. It catches us from that excellent bginning of Adak's gaze observing perhaps a small but significant fact - the relationship of honesty and generosity between the child seller and the buyer - that already charges the story of a certain rejoicing in the human. It allows us to know then - regulating the information to the reader - who this character is and his story, through an excellent narrative synthesis, taking advantage of the ellipsis, with the use of some simple resources (the photo, the newspaper clipping), to take us to its denouement and open end (or inconclusive).
I would venture to say that time is perhaps the core and true protagonist of his story. From its title "The prisoner of time" it is affirmed, but more with certain expressions of the omniscient narrator: "He had no time to shave. No time for all the niceties of life.", "Time imprisons us all he thought". It is the real and chronological time of Adak's vital drama in his indigent present and in his past of the family loss that has cornered him, and a time difficult to characterize, between the subjective of desire and the dream realized, which becomes a kind of redemption, with Adak's "disappearance" (transposicon, he said above).
His illustrations are very good.
Thank you for sharing your wonderful story, @greenrun, and also @adsactly for giving us the chance to get to know and enjoy it.
I'm blown away by your narration. You got the essence of the story. Thank you for this wonderful reply.
Excellent story, @greenrun. The beginning is a wonder and the end is a jewel, especially because the reader does not anticipate anything of what is going to happen. Although there are fantastic elements in a raw, real story, you knew how to turn it around to build an extraordinary ending. The reader assumes his solidarity with the indigent, identifies with him, feels his sorrow, his sadness. This is one of those stories that you finish reading, but we keep thinking about them: what really happened, did the homeless person die, did he manage to meet his family? This open ending opens up a range of possibilities! I want to think that somewhere he managed to meet his daughters and his wife, even if it was in heaven. Applause for you and @adsactly for sharing such great texts.
Always a pleasure to read your inputs. I can only wish Adak finds some peace at last. Thank you for reading my story, again :)
@greenrun wonderful story, your first lines/paragraph sounded like a Nigerian street filled with hawkers all hustling for survival at each traffic stop in any given location to sell their products to people plying the road. I like how you also identified how swift and at alert everyone one must be, from the seller to the buyer in other not to be cheated at the slightest of chance. Since its a traffic that will only last for about 20-30 secs before they start moving, the seller must gather the change first before he or she is been paid, sometimes as pointed out by you they will need to chase the vehicle, if they are unable the customer throws back their goods through the window back to them, some are wicked they will not return it.
Nice read for a Sunday.
That's how it works in these streets. Thank you for reading.
This post has received a 20.00% upvote from @jmiller05!
This is story really nice. I also admire of your work.
Thank u dear @greenrun for your nice story. And also thank you @adsactly for sharing this story.
Thank you :)
Interesting story and nice work by dear @greenrun. I really appreciate for your nice story.
Thanks for dropping by.
story is very awesome my friend,i like it ,i really admire your work,i have to learn a lot from you @adsactly
Thank you
it reflects the nature of humans
Very nice story I appreciate your post.