W.O.-M.A.N

Dr. Chika Nnamdi had been invited to speak at the two-day conference organized by the Girls-to-Women (G2W) Campaign Group. She was a beautiful woman in her late thirties whose beauty and height makes her stand out easily in a roomful of women. As a lecturer in one of the top universities in the country, she was well loved by her students for the wisdom and knowledge that broke forth each time she stood before them. The school management had also acknowledged her commitment to work; she had received awards as the most dedicated lecturer for three consecutive years. Her research papers and works were gaining grounds in Africa, and despite her busy schedule, she made time for activism and philanthropy.

She was basically living her dream life; she had a well paying job that revolved around her passion for teaching and making impact, a loving husband who did not feel the least bit intimidated by her growth, but constantly encouraged her to aim for greater heights, and two beautiful children. She was not where she wanted to be yet, but she appreciated the fact that she was surely headed in the right direction when it came to attaining her goals.

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Dr. Amara Cheta, the founder of the G2W Campaign Group was Chika's closest friend turned sister who knew how uneasy Chika had had it getting to where she currently was. In fact, Chika was one of her two inspirations that led to her founding the group, with the mission to see young girls break through unreasonable societally-placed gender restrictions. The group aimed to educate girls; helping them to realize that they, like their male counterparts, could be, and do anything they wanted to, despite the odds against them. The conference was the first of its kind since the inception of the group about a year ago.

While Amara had invited other speakers - prominent in their respective fields, and better known to her girls now seated in the audience - she had felt the need to bring home the theme of the conference by inviting Dr. Chika to speak from a grass-root experience that she had no doubt most of her girls would better relate to. Girls between the ages of sixteen to twenty-three cheered as Amara made her way to the stage to introduce her bosom friend, Chika. She saw the look of surprise on Chika's face when she referred to her as one of the core inspirations for the birth of the group. The attention of the girls subsequently fastened on Chika. It was going to be a powerful, and thought-provoking speech. She just knew it.

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A Call to Serve

After thanking the host, Chika took a second to look at the sea of young faces staring up at her, waiting expectantly for her to commence. She almost felt nervous. It was not her first time standing before a large group; she was a lecturer who spoke before a good number of similarly young faces almost every working day, and had presented papers to larger audiences before (and defended some to boot), but this felt different.

Her words this time would be more measured and impactful, with the capacity to sharpen and shape a child's life. Not just any child, but a female child; the more marginalized and restricted gender in their part of the world. Her words, when they came, could very easily be misconstrued to mean a hatred for the male sex, since she knew that few of those who portrayed themselves as feminists actually knew what it meant to be one.

Her mind wandered to the first time she had been invited to speak during the course of her activism. She had taken time to pick out the peach colored two-piece suit she wore that day, and as usual, thoroughly checked the papers she wrote for the occasion. Her audience then had also comprised young adults, although much older than the present one. She had planned it differently, but when she began speaking, realized quickly that she would rather not employ a by-the-book approach while addressing them.

Then, like now, she had been pulsating with energy that came from her passion for causes like this. She had not come here today to advocate for rights. She was simply here to share and teach from her heart; to "bare it all" as they say. Her fellow speakers would fill in whatever she left out. She glanced at Amara who was watching her with the same expectancy and rapt attention displayed on the other faces. Chika shook her head unconsciously; it was true that Amara knew her story, as the sisters they had become over the years, but even she was in for a bit of surprise at some of the details that were hitherto unknown to her.

A second round of applause brought her sailing home from her reverie. It was about time.

She began, "I see very young faces. You all seem to be getting younger as the years go by."

It was a joke that resulted in laughter from her audience. Chika smiled, more to herself than to her onlookers. She liked the ease that descended as the room quietened. Her little joke had hit its intended mark.

She put her game face on as she continued, "I was twenty-five years old when I FINALLY gained admission into the university..."

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Childhood: the Beginning

Dr. Chika was born an only child to illiterate parents, core believers in the clichéd saying that a woman's place was in her husband's kitchen, and bedroom - where they would make babies that she would look after, to gain fulfillment in life.

Her father, Iheanacho, made it clear he hated that she was a female child. He had wanted male children, to ensure the continuance of his lineage after he was inevitably gone from this world. Her mother bore the brunt of his apparent disappointment, worsened by her inability to have more children. Iheanacho threatened to marry a second wife, time and again. A threat he finally carried out after he lost his wife to a difficult pregnancy when Chika was seven. He took another wife who bore him twin sons that soon became the center of his world which Chika had never been.

Daughter, Not Slave

After her primary education, Chika was sent off to live with her father's sister, aunt Adanna, and her family in a neighboring village, where she was to learn to sew as a young apprentice. Her vocal interest in continuing her education had not only been disregarded by her father, but had also earned her some strokes of his cane to drive home his point; the primary education she received was the best gift she could ever hope to get from him.

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As her aunt's live-in apprentice, she had been a housekeeper in the wee hours of the morning, a hawker till afternoon, a tailoring apprentice in the evenings after she returned from hawking, and a housekeeper-cum-nanny for the rest of the day, after which she would retire, exhausted, to her sleeping space on the kitchen floor, only to be awakened rudely, often with a cane, if she ever dared oversleep.

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Child Rape

It was on this floor that her aunt's brother-in-law, uncle Duru, who came visiting, began paying her nightly visits. She was fourteen years old at the time, and one of those girls who developed womanly features early. After the first night he touched her inappropriately, uncle Duru had shown her some charms the next day, assuring her that she would die if she dared tell anyone. Dr. Chika had not realized at the time how lucky she was to have escaped teenage pregnancy.

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The three months that uncle Duru's visit lasted, had been the longest, and toughest of her life. When he was gone, and while her aunt and her were working on getting a client's clothes ready for collection that evening, she summoned the courage to tell her aunt. Even now, she easily recalled the fury visible on aunt Adanna's face on hearing it; that confession had earned her a hot slap across the face, and beatings had followed.

Aunt Adanna, who had found it utterly disgusting that Chika could talk about sex at her age, called her a young prostitute, and explicitly accused her of making amorous visits to various men each time she was sent to hawk. Her aunt had seen Chika's revelation as a wicked plot to breed enmity between her and her in-laws, and told, as well as showed Chika, through more beatings, that her supposed "plan" would not work.

Uncle Dede, Adanna's husband, was told that night upon returning from his job as a mechanic, and Chika was whisked back to her father the very next day. She had overheard the couple arguing the night before; Aunt Adanna had not cared to lower the volume of her voice as she insisted she did not want a prostitute living under her roof. In retrospect, Dr. Chika knew what her aunt had meant; her husband and male visitors were not safe living in close quarters with Chika.

Back Home to Hell

Chika had not expected a rousing welcome from her father, and was not surprised that his mean streak remained intact. Iheanacho and his wife made it all too obvious they were not happy she was back. Her stepmother put Chika to work the very next day; hawking whatever she got the whim to sell for that week, and doing more house chores than were decent for a fifteen year old. It was while hawking that she had the good fortune of uniting with Amara Cheta; a meeting that had set her breakthrough in motion.

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Dawn of a New Life

It was Christmas day, and Chika sweated profusely as she hawked oranges in the angry sun. A car behind her horned repeatedly; it was signaling her to stop. Finding a buyer interested in her wares for the first time since she set out, Chika hurried to the big car to sell, but was shocked to see Amara in the passenger seat, beautifully dressed in what was no doubt her Christmas clothes. Mrs Cheta, Amaras mother, and driver of the big car had smiled kindly at her, and proceeded to invite her into the car after Amara excitedly greeted Chika.

Chika and Amara had been close friends and classmates in Primary school, although Amara was a year older. Unlike Chika, Amara had moved to the city after their primary education, when her then single mother had come to collect her from the village, after leaving Amara to be raised by her grandmother, while she hustled in the city. Mrs Cheta had succeeded in starting a business that bloomed in the years since she left for the city of Lagos, and as promised, had returned to take Amara with her.

Chika accepted the invitation and hopped into the back seat with her wares. That, till this date, has remained her best Christmas celebration since she lost her mother. It was the day when the process that led to the end of her enslavement had been put in motion. She had been well fed, and had listened with avid interest while Amara told her with much gusto about life in the city. Chika had felt very free in telling Mrs Cheta about her woes when she was asked why she was hawking on a Christmas day.

When the time to go home came, Chika had not been able to hold back the tears that fell from her eyes when Mrs Cheta handed her the total amount for her wares, and some extra upkeep money, which she was instructed to keep hidden. It was on impulse that Chika had fallen to her knees, crying and begging Mrs Cheta to please take her back with her to the city. Years later, she had realized the magnitude of the burden she had asked a single mother to take on, and how much she owed Mrs Cheta for the big heart with which she had received her plea.

Mrs Cheta had come to see her father, Iheanacho, the very next day, and requested to take Chika back with her as a housekeeper. He had been all too happy to let Chika go. According to him, she was of no use to him sitting idly in his house, and since there was not much he could do for her, he would be happy to let someone else take her off his hands.

Her stepmother had not been able to hide her displeasure at having to let Chika go, but she had succumbed after Iheanacho overruled her voiced disagreement. Chika was allowed to go with Mrs Cheta after three days, during which it seemed as though her stepmother wanted to milk her of all the domestic help she could have had if she had stayed. It had been a huge relief to finally leave home.

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As It Should Be

On arriving Lagos after the holidays, Mrs Cheta went to work on Chika. She got her new clothes, enrolled her in a primary school to get her ready for the common entrance examinations, which were a prerequisite to getting admitted into secondary school, took her for counseling, and made her feel very much at home.

Chika was disappointed when Amara had had to resume her boarding school soon after the holidays, leaving her lonely with no similarly-aged friend to play and chat with, but she had soon gotten over it, especially since she had to work extra hard at school. It had not been easy being the oldest in a class of pupils several years younger than her own sixteen years, but Chika had been determined to make Mrs Cheta proud, to do as well as Amara was doing, and put to good use the opportunity to get educated, which had finally been handed to her on a platter after wanting it for so long.

Two years later she was admitted into secondary school, and then proceeded to the university for her first degree at the age of twenty-five. During the time that had elapsed, Amara's mother had met and married a man who adored her. Her two daughters had been all too happy to be bridesmaids at the wedding, and Amara had gone on to acquire a second degree from a renowned university in London.

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Chika fell in love with her husband, Dr. Nnamdi, while she was pursuing a masters degree in Canada. They married a year later and now have two beautiful kids.

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Forgiveness

She had gone to see her father, Iheanacho, who seemed to have aged plenty since the last time she saw him. He was still the same man that she remembered; conventional, cold, mean, unremorseful, and uncaring. He had carelessly dismissed the news that Uncle Duru had been sentenced to jail after he was tried and found guilty of serial cases of child rape, molestation and abuse.

That visit had reaffirmed what she had known all along; she would never have a good relationship with her father. He was too set in his ways, too proud to acknowledge the fact that she had made something of herself despite being a female child.

It was not to boast but she was doing better than his twin sons, who hardly ever bothered about his welfare since the death of their mother. She had done right by him to appease her conscience. He was still her father afterall, and had done her the greatest favour by allowing her go with Mrs Cheta, despite his wife's objection. She often sent money and provisions back home to him, and had given out the spare room in the house to a middle-aged woman who doubled as his caretaker.

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Listen: You Are Woman and You Are Strong

Dr. Chika looked at her audience as she finished her story. They had listened with interest while she narrated, and were still focused on her as they waited for her next words, ready to devour whatever came next. She gave a long pause and sighed audibly before continuing.

"Now, I know that here, seated amongst you, are some who have gone through worse things than I did, and some who cannot relate with any of my experiences. It is also true that you may not meet an Amara or a Mrs Cheta on Christmas day while hawking. Regardless, I want you all to hear me clearly."

"No matter how hard it gets, never drop your crown. Yes, you have a beautiful crown, because as a woman, you are strong and powerful. You can achieve that goal you set your mind to; do not let anyone tell you otherwise. Be intentional. Do not let your dreams be hindered by ridiculous gender biases, keep your head above the water, push towards your goals, and work hard to achieve them. Do not be daunted by challenges, strive to overcome them."

"Speak up and seek help when you are treated wrongly. Talk about rape, abuse, maltreatment and whatever else. Educate your children about sex. Trust me, rather than the misconception that you spoil them by doing so, you give them knowledge to guide and guard them. Do not be afraid to challenge conventions or status quo, but be guided by good conscience. Never put people down. Rather, you should pull them up, especially, but not restricted to, ladies like yourselves. Learn to be a ladder by which people climb up. Offer a smile and be kind. Even when you have nothing else to give, your smile could be someone else's signal of hope. Your breakthrough too shall come."

"It just so happens that the International Womens Day celebration is a few days away. I hope that on that day, you are reminded of all that you can become when you see and hear of all the women making their marks all over the world. It may be too early to do so, but I'd just go ahead and wish you all a happy International Womens Day in advance. I pray and hope that all your dreams come true, no matter what your story is. Thank you for listening."

---

The silence that hitherto enveloped the hall while she spoke was broken with the sound of clapping, as the audience gave Dr. Chika Nnamdi a standing ovation. She smiled radiantly, as she curtsied slightly before her audience. Her message had been well received.

She gave a waiting and teary Amara a tight hug as she descended the stage.

"All is well that ends well" she whispered in her ears.

Some of her fellow speakers approached to give her a handshake or a hug, while the girls continued clapping. It took a while for the hall to quieten down after Amara ascended the stage to introduce the next speaker. Dr. Chika had set the mood just right, and the rest of the conference went on successfully without a hitch.

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The End

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A story authored by @royalrose

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All images were obtained from pixabay.

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