How to help a love one overcome addiction [ Motivation | Behaviorism ]

Want to help someone overcome an addiction?

Having a loved one with some kind of addiction can be hard and frustrating. If you're wondering what you can do to help, in this article you will find some answers. But it is important to keep in mind that you should also take care of yourself.

1. Find: Books on addiction

It is very likely to have many questions and you're making numerous questions about addiction. You might also have misconceptions based on myths and stereotypes that can frustrate your attempts to help. The following books can solve those doubts and will be useful to both:

• From Addiction to Recovery: A Therapist's Personal Journey. Dr. Anita Gadhia-Smith . The author, psychotherapist and former addict tell her story in this book.

This is one of the most highly rated books on the subject. It helps to understand the causes of addiction and brings hope to those who lost it.

• Understanding Addiction. Elizabeth Connell Henderson. The author of this book is a psychiatrist specializing in addiction. It answers questions like who becomes addicted and why, what is the course of an addiction, how addiction affects the family or what is the recovery.

• Why Don't They JUST QUIT? Joe Herzanek, Tracey Lawrence, David Hicks. This book helps to understand addiction and recovery process. Especially aimed at people with junkies in their family.

2. Help them with everyday problems

Addicts often have trouble managing their emotions negative, tend to feel overwhelmed by them or fear them.

Generally, it is the parents who teach their children to manage their emotions. In young children, emotions are extremely intense and overwhelming, and can make them feel even as destructive. When parents respond properly to problems children learn to handle them.

Adults do not often realize the so enormous achievement that is involved.

Addicts have learned not only this but also have greater innate sensitivity, therefore that small problem of everyday life can be stressful enough to trigger the desire to use drugs, alcohol, etc. Consequently, addicts need to learn what no one taught them in their childhood.

In his book, Dr. Anita Gadhia-Smith describes how useful it turned out that the people in your support group help each other with these little stressors, such as:

1. What do you do when you're tired? You rest.
2. What if you feel like using drugs because you're hungry? You prepare a meal.
3. And what do you do when you're angry? You talk to someone about it.
4. And if you feel like going to the bar after work? You go to a support group meeting instead of the bar.

This is much more important than it may seem at first glance because anything could trigger the desire to take drugs, drink, etc., even hunger or fatigue, as well as problems, not knowing to meet a particular life situation daily, or any other discomfort.

Let him know you're there for him or her, there are always alternatives or solutions that can help you find them.

3. Be careful with your self-denial

It is customary for an addict to denies his addiction adamantly. It may be because they really think that they are not an addict and can control it , or because they feel embarrassed and do not want to admit openly. They will tend to blame others or think you're overreacting and insinuating that they do not have a serious problem.

It is not uncommon that this denial is also given to the family level. Thus, the family of the addict becomes a dysfunctional family due to denial of addiction and emphasis to appear normal before others, not expressing negative emotions or conflicts over how to treat the addict.

The family relationship revolves around secrecy, deception and addiction itself, which becomes the main focus, leaving aside other important tasks such as caring for children.

To cope with the addiction you must stop this behavior, talk openly with significant others in your life, leave your own denial and shame aside and recognize the reality of addiction.

The most common errors of these families are:

Blame others for problems. For example, he does not recognize that he has lost his job because of his addiction.

Not to mention the problem of addiction not to express negative emotions (especially anger) and even try not to feel them. Try to maintain peace at all costs to avoid stressing the addict but to suppress negative emotions. All others are also deleted and he starts not knowing what he feels or perceive the emotions of other family members.

Assume all the responsibilities that the addict can not afford. This makes the addict not suffer the negative consequences of their own behavior, which will cause harm in the long term.

4. Do not try to understand, just accept

It is possible that even after reading several books on the subject, you do not come to understand the reason because it is a behavior that is too far from your usual way of being and behaving.

But the important thing is not to understand, but accept this person as he is now, with his addiction and problems. If you occupy your mind with thoughts like: "you should be controlled," "do not know why it costs so much," Why you can not be a normal person?

Similarly, only you managed to feel rejection and you will not be able to help yourself.

Accept reality as it is now is a must to look to the future requirement. Stop wondering about why your misfortunes, or lamenting that things are not better, you help prevent it instead.

Think: "So things are useless now to regret and think how they should be. It is preferable to think what to do, look into the future and start acting. "

5. Doing nothing counts as something

Sometimes the best way to help those who do not want to be helped is to do nothing. Do not try to force him to accept help. Just let him see you'll be there and you'll give support if he chooses to accept your help.

Addictions can generate constant bickering, pain and discomfort and can seriously damage the relationship. This happens because your concern for that person makes you want to help and you feel frustrated by not being able to do it.

If this is happening you should leave and start taking responsibility for your life and your well being leaving the criticism and blame aside.

At least you'll be preventing his relationship also be destroyed by addiction and that will be able to help him when he decides to accept your help.

Also consider that many addicts overcome their addiction without help.

6. Two types of addicts

Among the various authors who speak about the causes of addiction, you always see the eternal debate between those who believe that the cause is medical (physical illness physiological or neurological cause) and those who believe that the cause is psychological.

Actually, there are two types of addicts. For some, the cause is fundamental psychological mind and addiction is often associated with a low frustration tolerance and is easier to overcome , such as addiction to tobacco.

Instead, people with more compulsive addictions (like the alcoholic who continues to drink after being hospitalized because of alcohol) are rigidly trapped in their addiction because the brain centers responsible for these behaviors are altered. That means your brain physiology is the main cause.

Many people with more severe addictions also suffer from a personality disorder and may have problems with anxiety, panic, depression or anger because of an innate biological tendency to overreact to the absence of reaction or both, before the stress of daily life. This biological disposition may be sufficient to generate an addiction.

Nor is it surprising that addicts were raised in families with problems so in his childhood he has lived more stressful experiences than most people. This blend of biology and environment even make things worse.

Keep this in mind and remember that the strategies that people use to survive are sometimes harmful, but they are the only way they know (until they learn better ones).

7. Help him to seek professional help

Many people are not able to overcome addiction alone and need the intervention of a professional. He may refuse to accept help, but not accepting it now does not mean that he will not accept it in the future.

Find addresses of several specialized addiction psychologists, support groups, specialized centers and everything you can find in your city to have prepared a list of resources that your loved one can use.

Unfortunately, some people need to hit rock bottom before making the decision to seek help. If this is the case, you can not do much more. Give your resource list and be patient.

If you're in the US you can enter the website of the American Psychological Association and from the link called Psychology Help Center you can access a mode to search for a psychologist in your area.

If your love one is outside the United States, the Association or Federation of Psychologists of their country may help.

Thanks for reading, have a good one! ~ @allmonitors