Physical pain is better than emotional one

in #actifit5 years ago
When all else fails, work. Work your ass off. Sure, your body will ache and there will not be a muscle you will not feel but you will be so physically tired that crying yourself to sleep will last much shorter than usual. There is a reason why "physical therapy" for patients with depression has shown great results.


CCO image, Pixabay, author: susan-lu4esm

In the last ten days, I have not slept more than 5 hours a night and had extreme physical activity all day. Too bad that @actifit is not synced with MiFit2 watch. My phone was not on me all the time and the battery only lasts for a couple of hours (yeah, I know, I need a new one...) but that watch was showing somewhere around 45000 steps on average. When you combine that with little or no food, you get 3 kg lost in ten days. Extreme, some would say, but again... Physical is better than emotional, not always but often and it is very therapeutic, at least that is what my doctor says so I guess I am fine. Everyone around me keeps telling me that I am doing great, who am I to argue? Why bitch around when I can renovate and make a complete makeover on my apartment? Plastering holes in the walls, sanding, painting, varnishing wood, walls, pipes, radiators? Sure, why not? Cleaning every piece of furniture no matter how big or small (even those that are already clean) and then cleaning it again? Sure, bring it on! And besides, it is not like I do not have some weight to lose so it is actually a win-win situation. Until I can get my hands on a new phone, my actifit daily activity will be very low. Stupid thing lasts for 3 or 4 hours and then it dies. It takes some 7 hours to charge it again ____ (insert your favorite curse word on the line)

The thing I am longing for is some peace, quiet and my for my life to get back to normal (whatever that means). I think normal is overrated and who the f*ck defines it anyway? All I want is less than 20 things on my "daily to-do list". I know, I have put them there myself and it is sort of bi-polar/schizophrenic to ask yourself to leave yourself alone while you are, on the other hand, pushing yourself to do as many things as possible, but no matter how many people around, sometimes the best person to talk to is yourself. You can be your worst enemy (my curent case) or your biggest supporter (my usual self). That is what I want. I want to be my usual happy self again. It still feels chaotic and I just want to relax. When I do try, panic kicks in so relaxing is (at least for now) not a logical option. Standing still, even just for a moment brings entropy of thoughts and emotions. Sadly, my physical body is slowly refusing further cooperation and those moments of stillness when time itself stops and I am left in a never-ending moment of agony, are becoming more regular than I would want them too. PMS time is not helping and I am trying to rationalize my condition with biology and hormones. It is not helping. My brain simply gives me the middle finger and switches off leaving me to act like a punching back to my own dispear. The good thing with having more than 20 things on that to-do list is, I have no time to give in to those emotions. I just wipe my tears when they come (which is usually in the worst possible situations like paying for stuff at the farmers market or in the public transport) and carry on to the next task. I have plans, a lot of big plans and I can not start working on them until this chaos is still present. Nothing lasts and neither will this. A little purifying chaos for a better future is a good thing, right? Physical pain is better than emotional one.

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WOW that s a lot of steps and with that amount of sleep its not surprising you have lost weight, as for physical pain better than mental pain I think I agree its possible to fight through physical pain and keep on going but with emotional pain it can stop you right in your tracks

The step count is actually much higher because my phone keeps turning off :D Soon it will be more accurate when I get a new one ;)

Yes indeed my step count has taken a hit over winter but let’s see me get back at it in spring

You are right. Physical pain is better than Emotional pain. Until it's not.

Time will surely help. But you and I both know that time is relative and you can fucking prove that. Time may actually not be counted on to help.

What can help is Petra. Just trust that you are doing what you have to do to get through this. All the self help books ever written are nothing compared to your knowledge of yourself and you are doing what you need to do to get from A to B. There is a place out the other side, and you are on your way to it. It isn't easy, and it isn't nice, but it is a thing to be done.

You've got this. And if you don't you have people in your life that will cover your ass until you do have it. It just feels like that might not be the case...

Stay with it sister. It's way worth it.

Thank you for your lovely support and words of encouragement. I like that part "What can help is Petra", I needed to hear that today and it resonates a lot. Much love honey! 💚

The only way to survive your mental agony is to keep busy but just don't neglect your body. Make sure you eat lots of fruit and vegetables and take a good supplement. I can imagine you probably have no appetite at the moment but force yourself to eat as you need a healthy body to fight this agony. I know that feeling when one stops and panic takes hold of you, but try to meditate again, regular meditation will calm the brain eventually. Take is easy and take it moment by moment, day by day and it will pass!

You are right about the appetite thing, I have little or zero but my friends and family are forcing me lol so I do eat when they start screaming at me :D

You haven't said exactly what's wrong, but I think I know. You're describing exactly where I was -- for about two years afterwards. I'd pace the house and tell myself, "You can do this. You can do this." Like a mantra.

I was in great physical shape when it was over. Emotionally, I was beyond devastated. You will get through it. But it may not be fast, and it sure won't be easy. Keep being your own best friend. And expect your perspective on everything -- absolutely everything -- to change completely. It will.

hahahahaha, that mantra sounds scary familiar :D :D :D
Thank you honey, for everything.

I hear you. Sometimes pushing yourself physically can clear out the emotional stuff, or at least keep the intensity at bay—give the intensity a way to move through. I've been having a bit of a rough go with things mentally/emotionally this past while, too, and it sure helps to get on my yoga mat or crank up the music and have a solo dance party. Being productive helps as well, because at least I've done something, right? Hang in there. Also, high fives for kicking your own ass, just be kind to yourself, too, okay? ;)

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i was looking for some words of encouragement for you,
Sounds like you got it though - this to shall pass.

Yup, the greatest wisdom of them all :D Thank you.

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I SO agree with the title of this post!

Physical pain and appearances go away over time, but mental and emotional pain can keep replaying in your mind; causing longer and more in-depth damage to one's self-esteem and confidence.

Yup, it is all about focusing on physical :D

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