New opportunity: Free Education, Free Food, Free Shelter, and a Free Car!!!

in #satire7 years ago


That's right. Look no further than this post and the secret will be revealed. If these things sounded good.

If you cross the border now not only will we give you free education, free food, free shelter, free medical, but we will also give you a FREE CAR!!!! After all everyone should be able to travel right! The caveat is you must settle for a self driving version.

That's right just cross the border.

Qualifications? None. All trespassers welcome!

Are you going to come?

We even advertise with your own government. They really appreciate us paying for all of these things so that they don't have to.


We are so saddened by the compassion lacking members of our country!!! They are challenging the free programs for the trespassers! This is so sad. They absolutely are horrible people and truly do not understand anything. They are evil satanists.

We hear them claim to be fine with immigration, they just want it done legally. Isn't that crazy! They make comparisons saying that if someone just walks in their house and sits on their couch that it is different than inviting someone in. They believe they should be able to tell the people to leave their house. That is so EVIL!!!!!!

They take it further and talk about our DREAMER program and they say that it is like the person coming into their house and not only are they supposed to stay there without an invitation but the home owner must now feed them, clothe them, pay for their medical, and their schooling. That is so crazy! Look how mean they are!!! They are against dreamers.

Some of them have said they are struggling to feed, clothe, provide medical, and pay for education for their own children. That is a total exaggeration.

Some of them say ridiculous things like there are no FREE programs from the government. They claim they have to pay for those FREE things in the form of either more taxes, or more debt.

They claim it is like going to their employer and purposefully robbing additional portions of their paycheck so they can pay for services for trespassers. If it is not that then it is like forcefully making them sign up for a credit card and then just handing the credit card over to the programs that feed, house, educate, and medically treat the people that just cross the border without an invitation.

See how crazy and compassionless they are!!! That is just nuts. They may be racist, Nazi's too and are worried about white supremacy. They don't want the trespassers simply because they are not white!!! You know it, I know it, that's how it is.

The free car was their apparent breaking point. Yet we don't want the trespassers just walking around that is so mean to them. Therefore, pull out your credit cards citizens and let's give the trespassers their cars. Why are you making that face? You say your own car is in disrepair and you can't even afford to buy a car for yourself. So what? We are not talking about you. Are you greedy or something? We are talking about the trespassers. They need these things.

Why are you asking about why their own government doesn't pay for these things? Like I said you are a compassionless jerk! These are some of the best people here, these trespassers. They really want to show us their culture.

Why are you bringing up your own culture? Are you racist? It is wrong of you to suggest the people that come here should want to integrate and be part of the culture of our country. Why should they? They are not from here. Quit trying to force them to be part of your country. Do you think they are immigrants or something?

Quit complaining about the fact we need to keep taking more of your money you greedy bastard because more and more people come here for the free stuff.

Quit saying it isn't free and that you pay for it!!!

Why are you bringing up the laws? The laws mean nothing. These people are good people, these trespassers.

Uhm... yes, taking the money and forcing you to pay for these things is a law. What is your point?

Duh... Immigration laws don't matter. You must be stupid or something you can't understand the simplest of things.


End


Okay, I feel dirty. That is much as I can handle of that satirical rant. I hope I made my point. Also if you don't get it. I think what I wrote above is total crap! Yet that seems to be the logic and narrative that occurs around illegal immigration, DACA, and other programs.

People protesting against DACA are not anti-immigration. They are anti-illegal immigration. They don't believe we should be educating trespassers and encouraging more and more people to trespass and break the law.

Essentially we are supporting criminal acts, and we are stealing from or putting actual citizens into debt to support the criminals.

Sort:  

Ok, I want a free car also. Can I move out and move in again? ;)

Me too. Though I made up the free car bit. At least for now. I might be a prophet or something.

I'm laughing. Thank you!

Well hell I'll trade them my car for education, healthcare, and a home.

The education being given might not be worth the price of your car.

It seems like it'd be easier to lie and simply say you are not a legal citizen. :) Save you the hassle of moving.

actually, it's hard to do since I have a green card and now I'm in my citizenship process - I assume, they already checked all my history

Also make sure you do it illegally. These programs are only for illegal immigrants and children of illegal immigrants. We don't have enough money to pay for these things for law abiding citizens and immigrants.

Let's see, my country (Russia) technically has a border with USA, so I can walk to Alaska when water becomes ice. But it's so cold there!!

I'm wondering why we don't have problems with Russian illegal immigrants?

Russia likely doesn't give illegals all kinds of free things, and might imprison such people. That's what most countries do.

I mean, why we don't have problems with Russian illegals on US territory

Good question. :) I suspect the Russians have some pride in teaching their own people. Plus, the cold war is still pretty fresh.

:) I think it's because we were taught to respect a law and for us, every person who breaks a law loses others respect.

We still afraid a reaction from others. and this is our communism heritage.

Cold war? what do you mean? How might it imply to this case?

I figure stupid things from our past between our governments might be an issue.

Respect for law would also make sense. Our law seems to only apply when someone in power wants it to. The rest of the time they get a slap on the wrist and a fine so lo that they are not discouraged from doing the same profitable thing again. Witness Wells Fargo and their fake accounts.

mi nuevo nombre es monedas de steve LOL

And don't forget your drugs when you come... Americans love those drugs. We have a large illegal population where I live (they come to work the chicken plants and take the jobs away from those useless negroes and white trash)

I see them in line at Walmart buying food with EBT and WIC then pulling out a wad of hundreds that would choke a horse to pay for their other stuff... Before loading it all (and their 5 kids) into a $40,000 truck to go home!

Yep, I've seen it too. Dreamers! Yeah, they are dreaming of their next heist.

Well they better move, they've about got all of our stuff!

Yep. But if they can get us all into prisons we can make more stuff for them there.

I'm too old... I'm afraid it's the extermination camp for me!

You have to pardon my rant... You see, I tried to sign up as an illegal alien- but they threw me out... And nobody understands why I hate the government!!!

shoulda signed the application as Ricardo ;>

Yep. Make sure you don't speak the native language. They might start to question whether you are in fact a trespasser and these programs are only for trespassers.

que? no hablo

LOL

FWIW, I understand that a lot of those folks are nice people; I've spent a lot of time with them myself...

but I also understand the point is not that they are nice, it's that they are doing economic, political, and cultural damage to the country

Exactly. It is not about whether they are nice or not. It is not us having a lack of compassion. It is about being responsible and understanding what we can support and not letting people take advantage of us.

America First does not mean America Uber Alles

Correct. It simply means if we have people starving and out of work in our own country we should feed them and give them jobs before we turn around and spend tons of money feeding and giving jobs to people in other countries. Which we have been and still are doing the latter.

If you get a chance, could I get your thoughts on this one:
https://steemit.com/informationwar/@stevescoins/how-to-be-an-informationwar-activist-part-twelve-information-war-binary-thinking-utopian-thinking-critical-thinking

It seems to me that I am missing a connection or a point, and it's bugging me I can't identify it

I'll go check it out.

gracias, amigo

I told them... Hey, it's me- Pancho from the Rancho

LOL

that was the problem, you should have said Francisco

Francisco doesn't fit the song... You're from Texas and don't know the Pancho song??? Your education has been sadly ignored (To the tune of Celito Lindo)

My name is Pancho, I work on the rancho, I make 3 pesos a day
I go and see Lucy, she gives me some pussy
And takes my 3 Pesos away

Eie Yie yie yie
Si Si Senora
My sister Melinda she pissed out the winda
And ruined my brand new sombrero!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

nope, never heard it

Well, my friend, I'm thrilled I was able to add to your education!

and an important addition it is! ;>

Yep. The big problem is that preceding waves of queue-jumpers have been let in and legalized, so naturally they are resistant to the argument that these things should be done legally. Moreover, they have taken up jobs in the government (they do here) and, well, promote their own interests.

It kills me to see this happening, because, for every queue-jumper that comes in, someone else who obeys the laws of the land is denied entry. Our government here (Canada) has tried to deny this, but there is no way it isn't happening. I've seen too many people who could not even sponsor fiances and family members who were good people, while the queue-jumpers are getting in left right and center. How is that fair? Sponsoring family members up here means they have to financially support them. Meanwhile, well, you know it... .

Abroad, especially in South America and Spain, almost all TV channels put Donald Trump as a monster. In my opinion their demands are the same as those of any sovereign country in the world, it is not racist or xenophobic, at least in my opinion.

However I know enough people who support him, including Latinos, but these are not in the USA. Cheers, I'm following you.

Hey Bro !!! Glad to be BACK ! Hella Post !!!! Believe me, the people making these laws have GOOD locks on their 1/2 million dollar homes in their secured neighborhoods.

Read More, Reason More ... JTS

I'm confused. Are you talking about Indians and Americans? Where are so many Americans supposed to go then, if Indians kick them out?

Indians had many nations if you are referring to native americans. They also didn't call it America. So any mention of America has to refer to a post Amerigo Vespucci time period I'd think. Also there is enough intermingling and such that it seems Columbus wasn't the first people to the Americas either. There is also indications that the "Native Americans" came in many forms too so are we going to kick them out too.

No I am talking about the nations as defined now. I don't buy into the La Raza bullshit as there is no living person that was kicked off of their land. If we go off of that then literally everyone everywhere would need to be kicked off of their land. Not just America.

True, everyone's a usurper. But then what does that make nations? I believe everyone should go whereever they please. However, this should be done slowly, otherwise they'd be chaos. If a country closes its borders, that's suicide. I'm not going to argue details, but I believe the US needs all those immigrants, which is why the people who are running the country and have always been running Congress aren't doing anything about illegal immigration. I also agree with Ayn Rand when she said that...well I can't remember the exact words, and I can't find the quote on Google, but it was something like "if an American isn't up to snuff, he should be kicked out, and people from outside who are intelligent and talented should be brought in". I don't understand birthright in general. The criteria that are applied to immigrants should be applied to domestics.

Oh I think her quote was to the effect that Native Americans didn't deserve America, so it was rightly taken away from them. Well...

Satire is as clean as the driven snow.

I think they should all be given a Tesla self drive car, as should all politicians (not intended as satire)

Can I have a Tesla please.
I will swim the Rio Grande! or take a ride in a crowded dingy,lifeboat...
Just don't make me vote Rep. or Dem. ...
;-)

If you won't vote they won't take you. How about working on a farm for a low wage and without paying taxes... under the table as it were. Are you okay with that?

ohh I promise to vote! just not for Rep. or Dem..
Been there done that.
work not paying tax's? sounds great!
I always file exempt.
Not worth the time and paper work to get back what they stole.

I equate illegal border crossing to one's home or car or business. Why do you put up a fence around your yard? Why do you lock your doors? Set the alarm? Roll down the barricade on the storefront? If the answer to any of these is "For safety", "Protection", "For the children", or "I worked hard for it and I don't want it stolen", then you must be an evil, racist, hate mongering SOB. You might also be a responsible, freedom loving adult.

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