I am very thankful for your caring response. Getting those feelings out of my system through this post made me sleep like a baby. I try my best against my struggles but sometimes they get the best out of me. Unfortunately there's pretty much zero public health care in my country, and it's even worse when it comes to psychiatry.

Since you are a special education teacher, I suggest you watch Atypical if you haven't. It's uh, it's really accurate. I do not believe it represents autism in general, just aspies. Aspies and autists are somewhat alike and that's why we were put under the same category, but while autism "affects" people differently, what makes aspies an aspie is exactly the same, and it can be seen extremely well represented in the Atypical show.