Today, I have started a story three times and erased each one. My brain seems to be on a sabbatical of some sort. Is this the writer’s block? The ailment that assails all writers at one time or the other, or is this the excuse that writers assail us with when they become too lazy to let their brains work?

I have so many stories to tell and so little time to tell it. I always say that to myself to keep me focused on my laptop and bang away at those keys but sometimes, I just want to lie down and sleep. Is my disinclination to write an excuse or truly writer’s block? Am I going to sit back and relax, go hang out with the guys and go girl-watching? I can’t really say.

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I have been having issues with my bandwidth for weeks now. Anytime, I want to make a post, I find my bandwidth is -45%; when I want to make a comment on the blog of some of my favorite folks, I find that my bandwidth is -125%. Most times, I can’t do a thing on the platform. I do not know what is wrong. I have asked older and more experienced Steemians, gone on Discord and harangued Admins of different servers, hoping to get a clear answer but from all I have gathered no one is sure of what is going on. Funny enough, this seems to affect mostly Minnows like me. I have managed to push my Steem Power to 23SP but I don’t think this is good enough. Please If there is anyone who knows why I can’t post, comment on posts or upvote posts, please kindly share; I am stumped. I have new friends that I might lose because I have no presence on their blogs; blogs that are relevant to me because they post interesting content. Why am I complaining? Is this why I am not writing? I do not know.

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I was a hermit for the first two weeks of my Steemit life. I didn’t go out to anywhere; I didn’t hang out, didn’t bathe, I forgot to brush my teeth sometimes. I just wrote, posted, upvoted and commented. I was on Discord in the middle of the night chatting, I was up on Sundays on Whaleshare podcast, on their discord server, listening to Steemians like me share their thoughts and ideas on posts presented before them. I didn’t see the sun for two weeks. I presently have a backlog of sleep that is like a month long. These days when I am not writing, or trying to write as the case maybe, I am taking quick naps on the couch, on a chair, in the bus, in a shop along Avenue Road… lol. I still do not sleep most nights but is this why I can’t write? Dears, I do not know.

My laptop is a Samsung mini that has seen better days. It’s (@) key when pressed gives you (“) and vice versa. Some of its keys need a hard tap before they can function, I use a matchstick or a toothpick to power it as the power button is broken, it loads for hours before it can open a single file and finally, its battery can barely go thirty minutes before it runs out of juice; basically I am like a surgeon using rusty scalpels. It was with this laptop I wrote some of my posts here on Steemit and it did me no wrong despite its arthritic performance. I have tried writing with my phone but my small fingers surprisingly seem to find the wrong keys. Yet, I do not know if this is why I can’t write.

I am a bit excited today as three of my poems appeared on africanwriters.com, an online journal that curate mostly writing drawn from the African continent. This was no easy feat and I am so excited about how far my writing has gone; from the diary, and drug induced cacophony I made in my university days to the poetry I write now which the world find interesting enough to share and enjoy. I think it is a beautiful feeling when the work of your hands is appreciated, when people who should know better tell you that you have come a long way and that you have indeed improved your writing over the long years. Yet this does not give me the desired focus needed to plug in the headphones, press play on a Snowy White song filled with guitar riffs or on an Eminem classic filled with wordplay, lyricism, tight instrumentals, and crazy words, and just write. Rather, I just want to lie back and stare at the world drift away. What exactly is wrong with me, I do not know.

FINAL THOUGHTS

I have tried to look at all the possible reasons or excuses that could be the cause of my lethargy. I don’t know if you can identify any one of them as reason enough to defer something I love doing. If you can, I would love to hear from you.

Meanwhile, I have managed to write on why I have not been able to write. It is ironic, isn’t it? Writings on not been able to write… feels like an engineer discussing about his or her lack of knowledge about engines while breaking an engine into its different parts and coupling them back together again. It is funny really.

I have come to the realization that in the whole, we do not always like to do some stuff even when they are important. Sometimes, we just want to wake up and go back to sleep. We just want to watch the clouds drift, listen to birds tweet, watch raindrops drip off leaves, blow bubbles with the kids, smoke cigarettes and listen to the world. But do we do that? Yes sometimes we do. Sometimes, we say what the heck! I am not going to work today. I am going to stay at home and listen to that Phil Collins CD play on repeat while I soak in a glass or two of red wine. No? your job won’t let you? That is sad really. lol. Well when you are on Steemit you could if you wanted to.

But I have to write. I need to write as much as you need to go to work. You should too, if you know what is good for you. Why? Because writing unlike breathing is not instinctive. Writing is a skill that needs to be built like a muscle. Practice… practice… you show up to work even when you are not in the mood. That is how greatness is achieved.

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You do not feel like cooking; cook. You are not in the mood for writing an article on Steem and Bitcoin, or on the Steemit platform; don’t. Write on why you dislike Ogbono soup and prefer Egusi soup. As long as you are writing, contributing to posterity, contributing to the knowledge of other Steemians and those yet to find this beautiful place you are doing fine. Write a poem, write a limerick, write a flash fiction of 100 words, write a song; just make sure you are writing. Why?

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A day will come when you will have your Eureka moment, when your brain will have a blast of intellectual sagacity and you will find yourself flooded with ideas that your fingers can barely keep up. The training you have undergone will determine how well you can keep up with the flow of thought without losing too much. So exercise those writing muscles in preparation for the moment when you will write that Grammy award winning script, that Nobel Prize winning novel, that Steemit contest winning article. Write for your sake darlings.

Peace

© @warpedpoetic.