Bride Price: A Custom that should be Abolished
Bride price is the amount of money and list of items paid to acquire a wife or bride. Whoever introduced the idea of 'bride price' to our society was a complete jackass.
The fact that it reduces a human to a commodity, gives men a sense of ownership over their wives, and makes gender equality more difficult to attain, is what drives me round the bend.
And then, in one way or the other, has served as a subtle justification to disregard a spouse, and use a partner merely as a means to an end.
People should be allowed to marry who they wish, without any partner paying for the other. The amount paid does not matter; as long as there is a payment, then it is trade.
It is really baffling that we have some so-called educated people trying to justify such stupid tradition. They say it's a token of appreciation paid to the bride's family for training their daughter. My question is: Who pays the groom's family for training their son? In reality, it only widens the gap between both genders.
We are slaves to our customs and tradition in Nigeria. Why must we do things the way our ancestors did? Our ancestors were cavemen that existed so many years ago. Some were intelligent, while some were foolish and stupid.
Nigeria is in a bad state currently because we've been making the wrong decisions. In the next 1000 years, we'll also be ancestors, so we've got to correct these decisions for subsequent generations to follow.
Culture is dynamic. Any tradition that ceases to be rational, if at all it was ever rational, should be discarded. We can never progress if we're not receptive to change.
Dear Parents, having a girl child is not a poverty alleviation scheme. Start a hustle if you are broke.
Although your points are logical from one perspective, it is still wise to consistently remember that a people without history is a lost people. Our customs and traditions as Africans depict our history; where we come from, where we've been and where we are now.
Bride price payment in some part of Nigeria is not a form of exchange, it is simply a honour appropriated to the parents of the bride. In such a situation, the father of the bride and the intending-groom move away from the eyes of the audience, and have themselves a agreement.
However, in some part of Nigeria, Pride price payment can be sufficiently termed a form of trade owing to much demand on the part of the bride's family.
Whatever the case is, the whole idea of bride price doesn't make sense to me. I'm surprised you see it as a thing of honour.
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I am not from Nigeria, but like you said "Bride Price" tradition or not is slavery. It places women in a second class as citizen. Two things I think America did right, allowing women to vote and trying to do away with slavery. Societal change takes time, stick to your guns for what you feel is right.
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Thank you for dropping by. I appreciate the remarks you gave.
(IMHO) Things like the Thailand "Sin Sod" (Dowry) are wrong on so many levels!
Thanks for the excellent critique of this arcane social practice.
Thank you for dropping by. I'm glad you enjoyed my write up.
Good point you have here. However, it is not out of place to pay bride price, it gives backing and authenticity to your marriage. I thing your argument should be on the amount and quantity of item involve in some areas like the one cited in your post. They should be reduced. By the way there are some African culture that don't collect that much in fact some don't collect anything except a fixed penny so small but only serves as symbol of acceptance.
The amount paid does not matter, as long as there is payment, then it is trade. How does buying a bride give authenticity to marriage? This is the lie the society sold to us.
You are mixing it up bro, you simply don't like and that does not make it wrong. Nobody sold any lie to anyone. The only problem I have with it is the high rate placed on it in some part. Apart from that my brother it is beautiful. I am married and I tell you it makes sense when you married properly and not having the ideology of buy and sell. You can just see a girl and carry to your house and may be impregnate and started having children and say you are married. You need the both parents to bless you and money must be involved to bring them together.
No matter how you see it. I tell this, nothing in life is entirely wrong, it depends on you.
Even the gender equality you clamour for in your post who told you it is the best thing and the right thing. Are both gender equal in everything. Women are very good in some aspects and men too have their good points. They can be placed at par in some cases but definitely not same
It is only your opinion and perhaps some few others.
In life if you like it and incline to it then it is good.
If you don't like it then it is bad.
Try and also view it in other people's perspective.
The entire country or say majority can not be stupid as you posited in your post. And then only your and may be few others right.
Think again and may just express your opinion but don't conclude.
Interesting! I did not know about this custom. Of course, in other traditions in history it was the opposite - with the dowry. A woman would have to have her family pay the man to marry her, basically! Your tradition seems a little nicer for the women, but you're right to dream of a day when this nonesense is behind humanity.
Yea, i learnt in some part of India, women pay the dowry. It's different over here.
However, none of it makes sense to me. Thanks for dropping by.