RE: fear and dreaming
I hear you. I think a tough part of being here is knowing that I have been giving, perhaps too much. Yet for all I give I feel like people keep on asking more, expecting more, comparing me to others who have given so much more without thought of self. Then I see someone doing the same thing as I am, but doing it so much better, and I wonder how much do I actually help?
There are days where my boundaries disappear and I feel like people don't even know I exist, feel like I am fading into obscurity - some kindly bot tool that people rarely consider because it's no longer of use in their rise to the top.
I am told to be patient and kind and diligent while I wonder how much longer I can afford to pay rent. I see other people like me, the introverts, working behind the scenes, here every day, who don't earn a half of what they need to survive. I hear people who talk about community, how to make things better by paying to bring in hotshot success stories from the outside, while they overlook the very people who keep things running on the inside. It frustrates the hell out of me.
Thank you so much for your words of support. sometimes this is really all i need to keep going - knowing that someone cares and notices what I do. Look forward to listening to what you have written. hugs
Comparing oneself to others can be a dangerous thing. Compare yourself to yourself. Ask yourself if you are doing what you can do, if you are being a good @torico, if given your physical and emotional and mental and financial state you are doing everything you can, and if the answer is yes quit beating yourself up :) Honestly from the outside looking in, you are doing great. I know you don't feel that way yourself, because you have said that here in this post and elsewhere. I am telling you my perspective - from my vantage point, @torico is awesome and is already doing some serious good here. I very much respect your curation abilities and your eye for talent and quality. I love the area you are choosing to focus on and I love your original posting. I know maybe I haven't personally been as supportive of your posting as I could have been, and I could say the same about many of my friends who I have kind of neglected while focusing on curation and looking for new authors. But I want you to know that I am 100% there for you. I appreciate your friendship.
Love - Carl
this is a bad habit of mine, both comparing and beating myself up. oh and judging. i'm a horribly mean person to myself.
" I hear people who talk about community, how to make things better by paying to bring in hotshot success stories from the outside, while they overlook the very people who keep things running on the inside."
This! So much this!
"sometimes this is really all i need to keep going -
knowing that someone cares and notices what I do"
You are not alone, not unnoticed, @torico!
Thank you for posting this - your words are very timely for me.
thanks for reading, and i'm happy my words could be of benefit!