My friend it is interesting that you should write this post today. I am writing a post as we speak about why I find myself crying in front of my keyboard regularly while "steem"ing and why I find myself so much more emotionally open and raw than I used to be. I am going to have to add your post to the examples I am providing in my post - I teared up reading this.
I have come to a different conclusion than you perhaps about my emotional rawness and vulnerability of late and I do not want to turn this comment into the lengthy affair that my post is in fact going to be, so I will just direct your attention there when I post it.
I have said this to you before when we discussed the relative "merits" of authors' various rewards here. I believe it is a mistake to look at Steem as a work economy - you will always find examples where "work" was put in but "wage" was not received. Steem is (or should be - not convinced the vote sellers have not actually put the lie to this) a gift economy. The reason people keep saying network, etc., is because the ultimate measure of success here is in how much you can help other people. And the ones who ultimately succeed are the ones who help others the most, and that is always rewarded in the end (assuming the person does not give up on the platform in the meantime). I am starting to reap the rewards of always acting in a selfless and giving manner on this platform - that is of course not why I have conducted my affairs here on this platform in this manner, but I can tell you that staying the course you are on is the thing to do.
You rock. You are a great curator. You are a great supporter of sustainability. You are a great presence in chat communities. You are a great poster. As hard as it may be - try to focus on these positive things and let the worry and anxiety go. Easier said than done I know. Maybe draw a little on the love and support I can lend you and your other friends here can lend you. I know without a shadow of a doubt that your present path is leading to bigger things for you here on platform - don't get off the train!!!
Love - Carl
I loved your description of how the Steem economy should/does work. It really articulates it so perfectly. I try to keep that in mind, that even if a post doesn’t make much money at all, it will add value to others’ lives. It’s hard sometimes not to get caught up in the money, but I think it all works out as long as we create this community of sharing.
Exactly and well said. Love you brother - Carl
I hear you. I think a tough part of being here is knowing that I have been giving, perhaps too much. Yet for all I give I feel like people keep on asking more, expecting more, comparing me to others who have given so much more without thought of self. Then I see someone doing the same thing as I am, but doing it so much better, and I wonder how much do I actually help?
There are days where my boundaries disappear and I feel like people don't even know I exist, feel like I am fading into obscurity - some kindly bot tool that people rarely consider because it's no longer of use in their rise to the top.
I am told to be patient and kind and diligent while I wonder how much longer I can afford to pay rent. I see other people like me, the introverts, working behind the scenes, here every day, who don't earn a half of what they need to survive. I hear people who talk about community, how to make things better by paying to bring in hotshot success stories from the outside, while they overlook the very people who keep things running on the inside. It frustrates the hell out of me.
Thank you so much for your words of support. sometimes this is really all i need to keep going - knowing that someone cares and notices what I do. Look forward to listening to what you have written. hugs
Comparing oneself to others can be a dangerous thing. Compare yourself to yourself. Ask yourself if you are doing what you can do, if you are being a good @torico, if given your physical and emotional and mental and financial state you are doing everything you can, and if the answer is yes quit beating yourself up :) Honestly from the outside looking in, you are doing great. I know you don't feel that way yourself, because you have said that here in this post and elsewhere. I am telling you my perspective - from my vantage point, @torico is awesome and is already doing some serious good here. I very much respect your curation abilities and your eye for talent and quality. I love the area you are choosing to focus on and I love your original posting. I know maybe I haven't personally been as supportive of your posting as I could have been, and I could say the same about many of my friends who I have kind of neglected while focusing on curation and looking for new authors. But I want you to know that I am 100% there for you. I appreciate your friendship.
Love - Carl
this is a bad habit of mine, both comparing and beating myself up. oh and judging. i'm a horribly mean person to myself.
" I hear people who talk about community, how to make things better by paying to bring in hotshot success stories from the outside, while they overlook the very people who keep things running on the inside."
This! So much this!
"sometimes this is really all i need to keep going -
knowing that someone cares and notices what I do"
You are not alone, not unnoticed, @torico!
Thank you for posting this - your words are very timely for me.
thanks for reading, and i'm happy my words could be of benefit!
AMEN!!!!! I literally had one of my friends who I brought to the platform tell me today that he was about to give up on Steemit because his posts weren't making anything. But then somehow the Universe came through and that same day his latest post got curied and is now making almost $100!!! :O And now I have to convince him that networking is key...
the problem is that not everyone is good at networking. i get told to be me, so i do. but i am an eccentric cranky ass emotional mess. so what they really mean is, be yourself with party manners and sunshine. its not a natural thing to push ourselves into. i network in my own quiet way but going onto some whales post and saying anything usually gets me ignored, or blasted if i state an opinion that is unpopular. i hate it. it happened to me a few times so i just stopped commenting on whales because it feels too much like ass kissing for a vote. i want people to like me for me, not what i can do for them, nor for how well i can complement them. i know it seems stubborn but i dont like silly rules that people make just because a person has more crypto. its so old school. i'd much rather give a nice comment to someone who really needs it than someone who never reads it among the 101 other comments. at least im me.
I really can't say it any better than this.