This Ain't Yer Grandpappy's Volvo-
A box full of quarters located somewhere underneath the chassis of the 2002 Volvo Cross Country V70 had developed a leak, and man did that thing have a lot of quarters in it! One thousand one hundred and thirty dollars worth to be exact. They called it a 'transfer case', which has to do with money transfers I believe. It was no simple task to come up with that many quarters to refill it, but here, fresh out of the garage, is the car.
Why a Volvo, Paul?
One might ask. Who drives around in these boxy station wagon Volvos anyway? Hippie professors, mostly, and there was a time when these cars were reliable, safe, and efficient. The reason that I decided to get this one back in 2010 was that I wanted a car that I could live in if I had to, and one that would go anywhere if I needed. The All-wheel-drive Cross Country seemed to be that car at a glance, and I moved right in.
Reliable!
No. It turns out, that an All-wheel-drive car is only reliable for about five years, and through planned obsolescence, the very axles of the vehicle will begin to fail, which means that the used Volvo will not be able to climb hills. Replace the axles though, and the transmission notices, gets jealous, and has a three thousand dollar breakdown.
Moving On Up
Volvos look like money, and there's a reason for that. Being self-unemployed, I sometimes have no food in the pantry, and sometimes no fuel in the tank of my ritzy estate car. I know how to survive like that, but now that I have this rich-people's car, something occurs to me. Rich people wouldn't drive this fifteen-year-old car, they drive new cars.
Cross Country!
What are you nuts? There's no way this car leaves the pavement, the repairs costs prohibit anything resembling 'fun' or recreational use of the car. Every bump in the road threatens my equilibrium of living, and sometimes it seems like the Volvo is trying to ruin me. It will go off road if it has to, but such an adventure would cost thousands of dollars.
Being financially ruined already, and being a master of that, this Volvo doesn't know who it's messing with. Every time it goes to the repair shop it thinks it's gotten rid of me, but then I show up with the money, and with a sigh the thing takes me back home.
The Logo
Isn't that the symbol of masculinity? A circle with an arrow pointing upward with virile strength-- the male, square car. The older Volvos were very squarely designed, with lots of corners, and had an ashtray made for cigars. The Volvo that I'm in a relationship with has more curves, is more tender, and has no ashtray. She's sensitive, and yearns for the comfort and security of her original rich owner no doubt. Maybe she resents being built with American parts-- daddy issues, probably.
Communication
A couple of years ago, my Volvo became withdrawn and less communicative. When the dashboard light went out, I knew that the embargo had begun, and when the instrument cluster went dark, all of the lovely banter that we used to have about things like 'how fast I'm going' or 'how much fuel is in the tank' were gone. Thankfully I knew that she was getting twenty-five MPG so I could estimate my mileage between stops for fuel. She only uses non-ethanol performance fuel, probably just because it costs more. Persnickety is the word I'll use, instead of a more derogatory term, since the Volvo does have some good qualities still.
GOOD QUALITIES
1. Unless it's covered with Grateful Dead stickers, a Volvo is invisible to police.
2. My piano fits in the back, and it's dry and comfortable for us both inside.
3. It still has that 'new car' smell.
4 The pity rewards for this Steemit article about the Volvo should be huge.
5 We're hopelessly in love with each other.
It's nice to be loved, even if she has a bitchy way of showing it to me. We're back together now. I know, I know. Yesterday, I broke up with this old Toyota I'd been seeing, and the Volvo is being quiet about that whole 'affair' so far. Eleven-hundred and thirty dollars will buy a lot of tolerance it seems, from a little rich girl who's past her prime. Is she for sale? Why yes, at some point, but that article will go on Craigslist.
thanks for reading my review and rant the 2002 Volvo XC-70. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em!
I own man Volvo cars, but I stay away from all Cross Country due to transmission problems. It seems like transmission goes out more often on these cars than other models.
I'd had the car less than two years when I had to replace the transmission, a $3000 expense that forever changed my image of the Volvo. NOW I find out that the good Volvos were pre- 1994 models; those dependable well-built cars of old.
I burst out laughing when I read #1!
Good! Funny was the goal here!
When I was a kid, one of the families with which my parents were friends had Volvos. These were the 1970s boxy wagons though. They kept acquiring them over the years, and I think there were always 2 or 3 parts cars in their "back 40" keeping the main family hauler running.
Yeah the older boxy ones are the reliable ones. I didn't really research that before I got the 2002 model.
Here's to hoping you need the extra-large cargo and piano space of your classic to haul your newfound Steemit 'pity rewards'. But we all now know that however McDuck large you strike it on this site, you'll still be driving your XC-70. You may be offroad more, and she will no doubt be parked in the living room of the mansion, the two of you perched in front of the widescreen together watching "American Classic Cars" well into the night.
Thanks for the very funny, enjoyable read, thoroughly enjoyed it. You have an amazing way with words. And I can certainly relate, my old Datsun pickup never had a gas gauge, just kept track in a little book. Only had the audacity to run out once, and that was at the gas station entrance. It is SO much easier to push a Datsun than a Volvo.
Oh man, McDuck rich, and yeah the mansion built around the car and it's racing track/living room with billboard-sized TV's and rock show speakers everywhere.
The stuff old Volvo dreams are made of...
Its hard to imagine a Volvo covered in Grateful Dead stickers, but the image tickled me once I came up with it. :)
I owned a forest green volvo in my late teens, that thing was a TANK. I also would put "invisible to police" as a number one great quality for a car, thankfully the one that just came to me falls into that category....in a few minutes you will learn why it's funny that you just had that particular break up :)
Glad that you no longer have to worry about 'merica's' inevitable death :)
That's cool I bet that was a good car, back when they made em right. The day before I picked up the Volvo the muffler on Merica came loose and it started backfiring loudly, sounding like hell. It was time to park it for a bit.