Creative Writing Challenge - Task #9 - Ships in the Night
This is my entry in the final task for the Creative Writing Challenge, task 9: https://steemit.com/writing/@steemfluencer/creative-writing-challenge-task-9-continue-the-story
Managed by @steemfluencer
The Rules
Take a look at the text below. This is the beginning of a story. Your task is to finish it.
Directions:
- be as much authentic as possible (if you are in doubt if you should describe a lot of actions or just one action in great details choose the latter)
- try limiting the dialog and put accent on describing feelings
- if you think it's suitable, use objects to describe ideas (we've partially exercised this one in one of the previous tasks)
I poured the milk over the cornflakes and I was just about to start reading my morning newspaper when my son Peter who was 10 years old at that time surprisingly asked me a question:
-- Dad, how did you meet my mom?
Since it was Saturday and the bad weather has changed our plans for the weekend, I decided to spend some time with him and tell him the whole story.
-- Of course, Peter. I'm surprised that you haven't asked me earlier. I still remember that day like it was yesterday. It happened on a warm August day two years before you were born....
Ships in the Night
(story preview only)
Mate, that was bloody brilliant, Literally!
Great piece of writing dude.
Thanks for reading, much appreciated!
A weak man is just by accident. A strong but non-violent man is unjust by accident.
- Mahatma Gandhi
Wow, so sad! But it seems he ended up loving his son, so there's a bit of light at the end.
He was able to make it work with his son, and they do indeed have a family, despite the missing mother and his initial misgivings. Anyone can run from something they don't like, but it takes a bigger man to stick with it and make it work.
You're absolutely right. I like that he decided to keep his son, even if he didn't want him. I love the turn-around you do in your stories. I wonder how old the boy was in this story?
Thanks for reading! In my mind, I felt he was like 8 or 9. Old enough to know what death is, but not old enough to be a rebellious teenager. Good question though; I should have established that.
Very lovely article
You are amazing
Keep it up and hope you win
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That was so sad and so happy all at the same time! Great read!
Thanks for reading! I'm glad you saw the optimistic side of things here :)
So you know I was cheering for the mom. Hoping and praying she would be reunited to a life much different then the one told. I hoped for a miracle. I prayed hoping they would wed and have more children. Then you killed her and I thought, well at least the kid lived. Always an emotional roller coaster ride with you!
Well, it was probably fortunate that the story started with the kid, so I kinda had to keep him alive. Thanks for reading, and you're probably glad this task 9 is the last thing you have to read of mine! :)
Last death story I'll have to ready from you because the challenge is over? I mean I totally dominated the challenege 😉. If you think I'm going to stop reading your post think again. Yeah right, I have to make sure your killing spree doesn't continue. I'll be on the look out don't go crazy psychopathic on me just because the challenge is over.
I have to say, this is very good writing. The story totally works, even the back-and-forth from memory to the present. I'm looking forward to more from you. And though you can't force me to follow you, you can compel me in a different way. This is one of them--writing great stuff.
Thanks for the fine comments. I've been reading your work, and you are and excellent writer yourself, so your words carry weight with me. Thanks for reading!
Right back at you. I'm glad to find your work.
Great story. Its too bad all these are only one chapter, you could really write a bigger story around it!
Thanks for reading! I agree, it's hard to hold back and keep it a reasonable length and shape the story to fit the nugget-sized bite that steemit readers can tolerate.