In this article I will be demonstrating ways to improve the English language translation of an original composition written by @leveuf (see the original here). The @mitneb Curation Trail Project is dedicated to helping people whose first language is not English, but who are writing in English.

The @mitneb Mottophoto © @mitneb

---

My Source Material

When I first read his poetic prose titled Remembering Our Parents, I was moved by how beautiful it was. I offered to give some editorial coaching on the work. I suggested to @leveuf that I give him my feedback privately via chat, so he could use it to publish a new post of the reworked piece. @leveuf suggested that I go ahead and write an article encompassing the edits, and that he would resteem it.

Here's a screenshot of that conversation. I feel it's important to document this to avoid accusations of plagerism or presumption. @leveuf is in complete support and agreement that I take his work, and use it in this article as a teaching tool to help others improve their English language skills. Thank you for this great opportunity, @leveuf!

@leveuf included some wonderful original artwork to go along with this writing, and without it the piece is lacking something. I hope that @leveuf decides to republish the newly written work along with his artwork someday. He may even decide to continue to refine it after he sees the edits I am suggesting here. It is quite possible that I did not capture his thoughts exactly as he would like them expressed in this piece of writing, and my suggestions are just that, suggestions. @leveuf is an artist of many talents, and I expect this new version of the piece will only serve to give him some new, creative ideas.

Remembering Our Parents by @leveuf (quoted) with edits by @mitneb

With the weather that is doing in the world, I think it will be good to have something to remind...

With the weather that is happening in the world these days, I think it would be good to have a reminder…

Peep out every time the Sun appears, receive its rays, because they are your feed. This Earth on which we tread, how she hold us you must understand. They've made grow everything we perceive with our senses and even what we can't even imagine, because we're so close to that. And there's this strange daughter of them, the Moon, who has molded everything with her strength.

Peek outside every time the Sun appears. Receive its rays because they are your nourishment. You must understand how she cares for us; this Earth on which we tread. The Sun and the Earth together have given birth and nurture to everything we perceive with our senses, and even to what we can’t imagine because we are so closely connected to them. And then there’s this strange daughter of them, the Moon, who has molded everything with her strength.

They know everything. They've seen everything about us, they become acquainted with everything about us. They, with their infinite Light, Fertility and Impulse, are also screaming at us. With the weather of these times in which we live, there's something that we must be full aware, they are here, and we must also talk to them. Talk to them as human beings, it's the only way we would be heard by them. I don't know how to explain, but with all certainty you have to speak in a meaningful way.

They know everything. They’ve seen everything about us. They’ve become acquainted with everything we are. They, with their infinite Light, Fertility and Impulse are also screaming at us. With the weather of these times in which we live there’s something that we must be more fully aware of: they are here, and we must talk to them. We must talk to them as human beings; it’s the only way we can be heard by them. I don’t know how to explain it, but with complete certainty you have to speak in a meaningful way.

(or, I don’t know how to explain it, but I am certain that they must be spoken to in a meaningful way.)

(or, spoken to with earnest sincerity.)

The time and its weather impose on you the velocity and deceive, the earthquakes follow social events and a cut of entertainment pass then. We fall on our knees praying to the news while we wait our city to be hurricane free. Somnolent sirens sing from important seats and the truth fades in the communal skin. Our true Parents walking lost we forget.

Time and weather buffet you, and deceive you. Earthquakes follow social events, and people cease their folly. We fall on our knees, praying to the news while we wait for our city to be hurricane free. Somnolent sirens sing from important seats, and the truth fades into the communal skin. We have wandered far away, and forgotten our true Parents.

Our Parents never forgot theirs, it's part of their nature, this is the way they were born and they will never do it until their Time ends. We live in the sphere that Moon, Sun and Earth, created. Over all the creatures they distribute their love, to which that has a single cell, to that which is counted in tons, whom moves faster, whom of the place never moves, which crawls, which flies, whom breathes water or air, to which hunts, to which is prey, to which is stone. To each one they gave infinite gifts, and human weren't excluded in no way, although with ours, based on pride and selfishness, we have been doing the vile. But there are our Parents, showing us the way, They, outstanding sons of someone that we can call the true God.

But our Parents never forgot theirs. It’s part of their nature; this is the way they were born, and they will never forget until their Time ends. We live in the sphere that Moon, Sun and Earth created. Over all the creatures, they distribute their love; from that which has a single cell to that which is counted in tons, from whom moves faster to whom never moves from its place, that which crawls, that which flies, whom breathes water or air, to which hunts, to which is prey, to which is stone. To each one they gave infinite gifts, and humans weren’t excluded in any way. But because of our pride and selfishness we have been doing the vile with our gifts. Still, there are our Parents, showing us the way; They, outstanding sons of someone that we can call the true God.

Receive the Sun, feel firm on Earth and let the Moon enter your heart. Our Parents ask for that, and they'll always be there.

Receive the Sun. Feel firm on Earth, and let the Moon enter your heart. Our Parents long for that, and they’ll always be there to receive you.

Final Notes

Poetry is difficult to translate, and poetic prose like this is not much easier. @leveuf did a stellar job making his translation into English from his Spanish original. There are numerous ways to use words, punctuation, sentence structure (syntax), grammar, etc. to hammer out exactly what you want to say in English. Creative writing is an art that only gets better with practice, and that's what this article is all about.

---

Thanks once again to @leveuf for granting me the rights to use his original work as the subject matter of this article.

Cheers!

@mitneb

Read more about the @mitneb Curation Trail Project here
Read @mitneb’s really cool #Introducemyself Post here

---