Looking back, and looking forward, progress

Does anyone else get tired of thinking about the past?

I know I sure have. I've been here on Steemit for something like 3 months now...maybe 4, I kind of lost count...or, rather, never kept. I've been too busy writing. My minds been on the past. Been in my heart. Been pouring it out shit that's been damned up for a long time. Memories, feelings, random thoughts, beginnings of a personal philosophy... It's been crazy-awesome. It's like when you play with Legos...things start to slowly form out of the countless random shapes as you play. From a bunch of chaos, order begins to form. I'm sure a number of people who are reading this have gone through, are going through, will go through this process.

But, I've hit this weird point. I sat on my computer for the last couple hours, distracting myself from writing by going through my old travel photos. Searching for something that would spark a story, a memory, words that I wanted to share. Picture after picture after picture...nothing came. I learned a lot more about retouching...but...nothing...

Strange...I know.

With so many crazy awesome stories just waiting to be told. I've lived a blessed life, and I really hate to use that word. My travels have taken me all around the world, into nooks and crannies you can't even imagine. Through luck of birth, determination, and a desire to be different, was how I got to where I got.

The last years have been something of a setback in some ways. My blessings had turned into curses. Memories of great adventure were now compared to the bare existence I was eaking out. My burning passions slowly ebbed into desperate grasping. Each day became a monotony of disappointment. Many would find that hard to believe by the words and images I produced, but, it was true. Appearance vs reality.

Here I found a place to regain my footing. Sort some stuff out, so to speak.

But, like I said...no words.

And so, I wondered, why?

Putting them together is never a problem, when there's something I want to say, it's like, bam! None of the pictures I was retouching really got my attention. They were pretty, told stories, made me want to look at more.

Then, it hit me. For 7 years I had never really talked about all this. Suddenly I had an outlet. A legit place to be about what I needed and wanted to be about. People came and listened. Let me know what they thought, mixed, mingled, showed compassion. Thousands, tens of thousands, I'd even venture to say I've hit over a hundred thousand words came tumbling over and over and out onto these pages. Every day was this field of fresh blooms in my head waiting to be picked.

I was bloody excited.

It felt like it would never end. The new techniques, how to slide the right parts next to each other, fell into place one after the other and I was cruising on easy. Then, less and less flowers began to bloom. The field turned into a couple pots, then...hours of editing after hours of editing searching for something that I found less and less of.

And, the more I think about it the more I realize it's a good thing. I know some of you have gotten to this point as well. It's not that you're losing your skill/ability/whatnot, it just means you're progressing to the next level. I'm progressing to the next level. And what I did by accident, I now have to do by willful action. The honeymoon period is over, and the real work is about to begin...if I want it to.

That chaos that was a bunch of shapeless Legos scattered on the floor is coming together into something.

It's no longer two pieces randomly together, but, chunks of pieces that are beginning to slide into place. As the pieces come together, so does their level of complexity, and, to continue to put pieces together I must rise in complexity as well. That means greater thought, greater purpose, and a greater will.

Or, maybe I'm just having an off night, lol. But, it's something to think about. When you feel like you've run out of words, is it that you're out, or that your mind really want's to write something and you have to elevate?

And I guess that's why I'm tired of talking about the past.

Memories are great, but, so is the future. Maybe my lack of inspiration about the past means it's time to focus more on the future. Taking those bits and pieces lying about and assembling them into something bigger, more pointed. Talking about the past will never stop, but my focus has to shift from what I did to what I want to do, need to do... I can see the outline in the shapes, the question is, will I be able to elevate in order to put them together...

I'm curious to hear from anyone else who's going through or gone through this. Thanks for reading and looking at some of my pics! I figured roads from travels long gone would be appropriate for an article talking about both the past, and moving into the future.

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