Designation Eighteen : Part 1.

in #writing6 years ago (edited)

Its been about 25 years since I did any fictional writing. Someone mentioned I should give it a go. I love reading sci-fi but writing has never been my thing so I am way out of my comfort zone posting this.

I would really appreciate any comments or suggestions.


curatorfull2.jpg

My designation is Eighteen. None of us is sure where our designations came from or why they (whoever "they" are) chose such a strange location to imprint us with them. We don't have buttocks per-se, but if we did, this would give a good visual representation as to where those designations are stamped. My full designation is:


ՎՃՇ18ɧՌԺƙρ

All twenty-three of us have the same symbolic pattern, the only difference between us being the centermost digits. Fifteen has his theories on what the symbols mean but, to be honest, the rest of us get annoyed with his constant ramblings about it. It often seems like he has some kind of synthetic insanity kicking in. He's a bloody lunatic. It's hardly surprising I guess, considering how long we have been here. From our calculations, we have orbited this binary star system thirty-seven times.

star-67705_640.jpg

We have named this rock on which we reside, "Akpan-273". That's something that Eight came up with out of the blue. Personally, I didn't see the point in naming this place, after all, it's a just a big rock that we are stranded on along with all the rest of this junk.

The working theory is that this is a junker planet - somewhere where civilisations come to dump their rubbish. For us, that's just insulting. We cannot get our heads around how anyone could come to dump us here. We are, after all, highly intelligent beings. Maybe we were not doing as our creators intended. Maybe we are classed as having malfunctioned - diverged in our behaviour far from our intended programming.

We make the most of our time here, our cores have many thousands of years of power left and our runtime processors do not allow us to shut ourselves down. Synthicide is out of our reach unfortunately.

junk.jpg

Day to day we scavenge through the waste in what appears to be a vain attempt to salvage enough parts to build some kind of vessel to escape this infernal hell-hole. There's just nothing here but piles and piles of garbage. More of it arrives frequently but we can go for months without seeing anything fall through the portal and down onto the surface. No-one visits here. I guess the human saying, "out of sight, out of mind" rings true, even in the context of intergalactic waste management. There's a very similar saying in Karangi,


ነልዕቻጎ ጕዕረዐ ጎዕጠ ቻጋዕዐ ዕጋረጕጋነዕቻ ዕቻነነረጕ

but that is slightly more abrasive to the aural receptor and I will not attempt to translate it for you human ears here.


plasma-933193_1920.jpg

Last night, Six came back to our camp with what appeared to be some kind of drive unit. Having looked over it, it might actually be a useful bit of kit. It's missing a few important parts, the plasma sphere is cracked and empty and some of the ignitors are damaged. However, Two remembers seeing some ignitors over to the west of here, so she has disappeared over that way to see if she can hunt them down. Hope she makes it back soon, she has been gone a while already and once the local starlight hits the phosphorous fields over that way, things can get pretty hairy. Not only are the vents dangerous but the ranzwockets come out to feed during the day - they aren't the sort of creature you want to encounter. They have a ferocious hunger for silicon and are armed with razor-sharp teeth and claws which they use for tearing metal from flesh. We lost Twenty Two to one of them just over a year ago; they ripped his main board to pieces. It was not a pretty sight; capacitors exploded like ignited wire wool and pneumatic fluid doused us all with its oily viscosity. Thankfully, the ranzwocket was content with his catch and the rest of us managed to make a hasty exit with our components intact...

I really hope that Two is doing ok....


Images from pixabay. The Curator avatar is courtesy of @jameshsmitharts. Image of junk world is photoshopped by myself from two pixabay images

Sort:  

Anthropomorphic robots is one of those things I've wanted to delve into for a while now with my writing, so it was a pleasant thing for me to stumble upon this snippet today. Sadly, I don't read enough sci-fi though I struggle to think of any sci fi I've every read that I didn't enjoy, most recently PK Dick and Octavia Butler). Recently acquired a copy of Masks of the illuminati...excited to dig in.

Anyhow, I dig your start here. I'd like to see some brutally human emotions coming out of these bots, in dialog perhaps, then see how responses are handled...how far you are willing to humanize the bots or will they discard the emotional baggage, preferring to stick with programmatic pragmatism.

I am considering slowly letting some form of repressed emotion come out of these guys but just trying to work out the best way to handle that as well as where to take the story. I havent really got a direction on it yet in my head.

Yep, I see. Probably best to keep a notebook nearby. Some of the best bits, I find, like to squeak their way out of your subconscious during the half-awake, walk to the toilet, bleary-eyed at 3am. Best of luck mate.

I think you’ve got something here, the beginnings of a good world worked out. I did have a hard time sticking with it early on though. You may want to give the reader more of a reason to care. If the planet is a dumping ground and there is little or no hope of escape and the only activity is pursuing that hopeless cause, your reader has nothing to grab onto, no reason to be interested in the outcome. No reason initially to spend the time to get hooked. Maybe one of you characters is funny or two of your characters are in love or hate each other. You get the idea. Beyond that, it’s a brave start. Keep going!

Thanks!!

Pretty cool - it isn't my usual type of reading, but I still enjoyed it. Those images are so fitting - did you design them yourself?

The android was designed by my good friend @jameshsmitharts

Other images are from pixabay (free to use images). I photoshoppped two images together to get the star and junkyard image.

OH, how very exciting. I just love to see people create their own world and run with it. I'll be sure to check back in to see how the story is progressing. I'm stoked to see what stories your mind will unveil. I think it's a very good start. Thanks for sharing it with us. I haven't had the time to sit down and make any real progress with my story. :( babies sure do take heaps of one's time.

Congratulations @markangeltrueman! You have completed some achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

Award for the number of upvotes

Click on any badge to view your own Board of Honor on SteemitBoard.
For more information about SteemitBoard, click here

If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP

Upvote this notification to help all Steemit users. Learn why here!

Nice! Please keep on going; it's a good start. I'm following and will tune in for more synthetic insanity. :)

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.32
TRX 0.11
JST 0.034
BTC 66791.24
ETH 3239.69
USDT 1.00
SBD 4.22