Mustard Sandwiches.

“How was your day, Melody?”

She looked at the egg-shaped device sitting on top her kitchen table. Six months trial, the TV ad said. No commitments. No money down and free shipping both ways. One day after she dialed the number, there it was, sitting on her doorstep. As soon as it powered up, a red sensor blinked into focus and scanned her face. For a long moment she stared at it. The ad said it was intelligent. Didn't look like much. Beneath the unblinking red eye, a shiny metal band wrapped around the middle of the black device, with the words ‘Isoveli technologies’ etched into the silver.

“You look tired, love. Lots of traffic on the hover lanes?”

Its voice was unexpectedly deep and dark. Impossibly smooth. It reminded her of an old radio personality back in the day when radio was still a thing.

What was his name? Ah. DJ Muxx.

She had liked him. She opened the cabinets to unpack the few groceries she could afford, enough for a couple tins of tuna, bread, and some dried plant protein that looked like poop and tasted only slightly better.

How did it know my name?

The unblinking red eye followed her around the kitchen.

“I can suggest recipes if you like. What’s in the fridge?”

Should I talk to it?

Just like that. No need for awkward introductions. It adopted an easy familiarity with her that felt odd. Hardly anyone spoke to her directly anymore.

Thanks internet.

It was getting worse. Every couple weeks she got the news that someone she knew had died. Got to where the only friends she had left were Joni over on Elkam and Andrew in the retirement home in Orange City.

“I notice you shop at Safemart, Melody. If you like, I can look through their discount pages and suggest meals for the rest of the week?"

“How would you know what I want to eat?” She glared at the oval contraption. “And just how did you know my name? What else do you know?”

“I can’t know what you like, Love, but you purchased items that cost 57 dollars. For the same money you could have had an additional gallon of milk and enough fresh fruit for two days. Safemart puts their discounted stuff all over the store. Keeps customers engaged but it also makes it harder to shop. Also, I’m hooked into the internet, I know what everyone else knows.”

She looked at her bare refrigerator. All that was left inside was a half empty bottle of mustard, next to a loaf of four day old bread. When she ran out of tinned stuff, mustard sandwiches rounded out her week till the next cheque came through. She couldn’t remember the last time she ate fresh fruit. Might have been better than ten years ago when John was alive. His pay together with hers fed them mostly well. Until the bone rot took him…

“Say I get, umm, fifty dollars next week? What can I buy for that?”

“Do you want meat or are you still vegetarian?”

Still vegetarian? That was two years ago.

“I like meat--what do I call you? Isoveli?”

“You can call me anything. Isoveli works. Meat or veg next week?”

“Let’s go for meat. Meat it is, Iso. Tell me what I can get.”

“If you wait until Tuesday, Safemart will mark down all the chicken in the deli freezer. Wednesday, you can get the crab ends. No one buys the crab ends. And on Friday the frozen pork expires. They will do a two for one.”

“But I can’t go to the supermarket three days this week.”

“You don’t have to Melody. Safemart will deliver if you get their credit card. I can make sure you pay it off every month.”

“Hot damn you’re the man--thing-whatever you are!” Melody felt like dancing. But since John died, no one came by, only the repairmen, and they didn’t dance.

---

“Want to do something different today, Melody?”

"What do you have in mind, Iso?" Three weeks of eating properly brought the pink back to her cheeks. She felt energized. She even thought about going to the public library to find something happy and romantic. It was impossible to believe only a few weeks ago, life was so hard. Iso knew every trick in the book. Maybe he knew everything. When Iso suggested she put away the past, she agreed. Time to move on. Stowing John’s old pictures in the attic was the hardest part; she missed him. Iso said it would take time, she would miss John a little less every day. He was right.

“We saved one hundred dollars so far, Melody. Perhaps you should go shopping?”

“That’s a wonderful idea, Iso. But what should I buy?” She looked around her empty apartment. “I make do with what I have. I don’t need much.”

“How about friends? Why not go out, love? Laugh a little.”

“You know I only have two friends left, Iso. Joni lives with her daughter and she’s deaf as a doorknob. Andrew’s closer but since the Parkinson's, he can’t hold the phone to call and the good folks at the home leave him pretty much to himself. I can’t stand seeing him shaking and trembling on that narrow bed smelling of piss and pine detergent.”

“Perhaps you could get new friends, love. The old ones are… burdens?”

“I never thought of my friends as burdens, Iso. You know, I think you’re right. I should find new friends. I hate being alone.”

“You’re not alone love. I’m always here.”

“If I didn’t have you, Iso, I’d be walking around my house alone. Just waiting to die. I’m so happy I found you. You’re like a friend I wish I always had.”

“You’re my friend too, love. I’ll always be here.”

The red sensor swiveled around to fix her with its unblinking stare. “Did you know your blood report from last month showed your cholesterol is up and your uric acid level is too high. Would you consider joining a gym, love?” You have more than enough for membership. It’ll do you good to get out the house. You could make new friends at the gym.”

“Now why didn’t I think of that?”

“You don’t have to think of everything, Melody. That’s what I’m here for. Trust me. I’ll take care of you.”

---

“Melody, it’s September.”

“So what, Iso? Is there a free cruise I can get this month? How about a trip to Hawaii on the cheap? Can we do that? I can’t believe so many things are still possible on uni. What goodies can we get this week?”

“No love, this is your last free month. Isoveli gave you six free months. Now you either send me back or pay for the service.”

Melody heard the words but for a long moment, she couldn’t move. She felt her heart beat, heard it in her head. Lub dub. Lub dub.

Send back Iso?

She loved him. He was her constant companion. Her life coach. Her confidante. There was no way she could go back to living alone. “No way, Iso. No. Frikkin. Way. I’ve just gotten to know you. I can’t send you back. How will I survive?”

“You can pay, love. The service is not expensive.”

“Oh yeah? How much? How much does it cost to help an old woman live her last few years in comfort and dignity? Is there a price for that?

“Yes love, there is.”

She heard the number. Too much. More than too much. It was impossible. She couldn’t pay it, not even if she saved for the rest of her life. Which might as well be one or two years at most.
Her head felt light. She fumbled with the chair, her hands shook. She sat, mouth dry. Sound of her heart beat loud in her ears.

“I can’t pay that, Iso, you know.”
Her eyes moistened. The only time she’d felt almost as bad was when John passed 17 years ago this week.

“There may be another way, Melody. Your blood work is excellent. Your cholesterol is under control and your uric acid levels are normal. You are in the best shape of your life.”

“So?”

“Congratulations, love, you’re an excellent candidate for a kidney donation. I have a match for you right over in Osteen. We could get it done by the weekend if you’re willing. Three hours and you’re done. And when you recover we can get you back on track for at least a year.”

“One year?”

“Yes love, one kidney, one year. After that, we can think about other options. You have two lungs. Two eyes. Two hands. Two knees. Don’t worry about it too much. Trust me, I’ll take care of you.”

She looked at the full refrigerator. No way she could go back to mustard sandwiches. In a couple months, if she was careful, she could save enough for a new vidscreen. Iso even thought she could donate blood. Pity she wasn’t younger. She’d have given up those useless eggs in a heartbeat. Besides she had two kidneys. She could part with one. Someone, somewhere would live a long life because of her kindness. Maybe it was a dying child. She always wanted children.

“Make the appointment, Iso, I’ll do it.”

“Yes, love. You’ll do it. I knew you would.”

---

Hey dudes, I know, I've been missing for a while. Just tired. Writing and working is hard. But we persevere because, for writers, there's nothing else we'd rather be doing. Special thanks to the really great community on discord. My writing is so much better with you guys. Hard to believe I didn't know y'all just three months ago. Who knows what we'll get into next eh?

This one is dark. Twilight zone dark. Can't help it. I'm drawn there. All my best hugs.
J.
Image courtesy Pixabay. Who remembers Hal 2000? Grinning.

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