Have you ever gotten yourself in a mess you can't seem to get out of? This one is pretty bad, I have to admit... yet, somehow I am still stuck!
Last time I took you on a blast from the past into my heart, but before that, we ended here:
"Babe I really wish you would give this all another chance. James is a super great guy. I think you're just projecting your feelings about us onto this. You could be having so much fun. You don't need to come back here... just stick it out. You'll get over it in no time. You're already down there. If you end up really needing to get out of there, you can call me and I'll book you a flight back OK. Just give it a shot."
"Ya. Sure. Whatever. OK. Thanks."
My heart felt like it had been wrenched out of my chest. The pain amplified off of my ribcage and shot searing ripples of agony through my bones, ricocheting into my head where the aggressive hurt threatened to overtake my sight.
So, there I was, dazed and confused. Standing alone in the cafe with the pretty ribbons and balloons decorating the space, feeling like my whole world was crashing in around me.
Wasn't it enough to be here, by myself on Valentine's Day? Let alone being ripped through the rejection of the man who stole (and broke) my heart.
I didn't know what to do. I just wanted to cry my eyes out and scream out all of my anger but I knew that I needed to get back to my room, I needed to make sure I wasn't found here.
Dragging my heavy feet behind me as I made my way to the apartment, my headache pounding in every inch of my body and my heart was screaming in my chest. The sun felt like it was on a personal mission to ruin my life, committing me to the hot pavement, lying on the ground with my head in my hand. A literal definition of a melt down.
What was I going to do?
Thinking reasonably was out of the window! There was no chance that was happening. Clearly with me on my knees, on the side of the road hacking and heaving as I cried hysterically was kind of interfering with my judgment.
After a little while, with people stopping and staring at me the whole time, I forced myself up and continued back to my room where I was happy to find no one waiting for me. Of course I knew that didn't mean they weren't aware that I had left. They could have stopped by while I was gone and seen my empty bed but at this point, I didn't have the energy to care. What would they do anyway?
So, let's think about this. I had managed to muster up some strength and courage (OK liquid courage) to call my ex to tell him my woes and ask for help and he was denying me. I was red eyed, muscle-pulsing angry.
"But wait" said the angel on my shoulder... "Would you believe someone telling you this story?"
Well... to be honest... no.
This story sounds ridiculous and don't worry, I don't blame you for being skeptical if you are. I never thought I would tell this story in a million years.
That thought played over in my mind as did all of the events from the previous chapters I have shared with you. I laid on my bed, looking up at the ceiling, thinking of how unbelievable this all was.
How could I be mad? What did I expect him to do for me? What did I want from him?
Just then, I heard the front door bust open and noisy clambering in the front hallway.
My bedroom door opened and because I didn't even want to look, I waited for the voice...
"What the hell are you doing?"
Hmmm... well that was predictable, it was Emily.
I didn't have the energy to even lift my head to greet her so I just continued staring at the ceiling and listening to her frantically go off like buzzy bumblebee. ZZZZ...ZZZZ... her words were coming out so fast and jumbled, my mind was translating them into static noise and ignoring most of them.
"I was so worried about you! How do you feel? Do you think you're OK? How's your head? Do you need some water? Dear God... you're not answering... What can I do?"
She started circling the room, clearly having a dilemma about what to do since I had nothing to say and so wasn't answering her.
"OK, I know you think I am playing you and I know you think I am lying but we're friends. It isn't me who is doing this to you. Let me help you!"
I sat up and looked her straight in her blackened, baggy, eyes.
"How do you think you're going to do that? Under your watch I am a star contestant on the nightmare show daily. How do you think you're going to help?" I asked with a very harsh tone while refusing to give into her kind face this time.
"I'm so happy you're awake now. I didn't know they were going to take it so far. They're always taking it too far... Anyways... Ummm... how is your head? Do you feel OK?"
I was becoming more annoyed by the second.
"Of course I don't feel OK, Em! I feel like I had a cocktail of mystery pills and my head is on fire and also freezing at the same time. I'm embarrassed, hurt and I am tired of waking up not knowing what's happening to me. I don't want to keep doing this."
Em sat down on the bed beside me and made a move to put her hands on my shoulders. She put them in mid air, above where they would fall for an embrace and pulled away again quickly with uncertainness.
"We're friends, you know that right? We were having so much fun together! I felt like we had finally been set free from all of this... like we didn't need to worry. I'm sorry that the guys showed up and ruined that. I'm really, really sorry."
Em told me that the guys were in over their heads scheming about getting Chris off the island after I demanded she start telling me what was going on. It turned out that they really had no idea what was going on with the secret service or anyone looking for our menacing criminal, so they were trying to get their plan set up without being seen, not knowing who was watching or how to avoid them, making things truly dangerous and the stress shoot through the roof.
" Kyle's kind of like a walking 'squoosh toy' right now, you know the ones you squeeze and their eyes pop out in goop? He's trying to get the money because Chris won't leave without it."
So what I know at this point is that these band of misfits are running a drug operation and Chris is on the run from the FBI because he killed someone in the USA and then fled the scene of the crime. The FBI had just caught onto him and had been looking for him so Kyle was organizing a get-away-escape plan for him using their drug boats. Kyle owed Chris money so Chris wouldn't leave without it, knowing he may never be back. Kyle didn't have the money and was on a thin leash with limited time to figure it out and get Chris out of there before everyone got caught.
I still liked my "the less you know" theory so I deliberately tried to avoid any compromising information, sure that I would be asked at some point.
"Listen to me, if there's anything you need to believe me about it's that you need to keep your mouth shut and you cannot tell anyone about this! They think you told your boyfriend last night and they drugged you! Just imagine what they will do to you if you try to run or go to anyone about this... you're lucky I checked on you this morning and covered for you. They aren't playing around... they won't think twice if it comes to hurting you. You need to be careful. You need to be on our side if you want to be safe. I don't want anything to happen to you. Please trust me..."
To be honest, I had no idea what any of this meant or what was going on, I was too overwhelmed to process and felt more like I was in a bad dream (mostly from constantly being drugged) completely disillusioned and disconnected from real life. It wasn't my business as far as I was concerned and plus I am no stranger to crime, I have seen the movies and read the novels enough to know that snitches get stitches so that wasn't happening regardless of whether I trusted Em's motives or not, I believed her about this and my mouth was going to be glued shut.
Do you think she's being sincere?
Em's got a proposition for me... I'll share it with you and where it leads next time during Confessions of That Time I Accidentally Ended Up Working for a Drug Runner!
If you've yet to read the series, here is the introduction, Welcome to DR, Part 1
My Confusion and Panic in Part 3
My favourite, The Reveal (of the Terrifying Secret) Part 4.
An Intro to Kat Part 4.5
The More You Know Part 5
Kat Gone Wild Part 6
Kyle's Prisoner, Part 7
Adam's Drunken Incrimination Party, Part 8
Jailbreak, Part 9
Em's Perspective Part 10
They Found Us Part 11
Then That Happened Part 12
Flashback Pt 12.1
If you're hanging by a thread and want to know the moment the next part is published, let me know in the comments and I will keep you updated!
From January 2014 I have been what you would call a vagabond, a nomad, even a gypsy by definition of the words. I had what they all have in common: no fixed home...and no fixed income but the wildest stories.
Until next time,