Flash Fiction: The Eel and the Bees
Today I was challenged by @dreemsteem and @bluefinstudios to write a post which was 'moving'... or one which had an eel in it. So being the contrary person I am, I decided to have a crack at both. Here's my flash-fiction story:
The Eel and the Bees
After it has happened, I need to escape. The unshed tears have caught in the back of my throat in a writhing mass of of overheated bees. I can’t swallow and the strange buzzing sensation is making me feel sick.
Right now I can’t deal with the other pale faces around me, the snotty howling into handkerchiefs, the need for mass pity, mass consolation. The need for drama. Weren’t the still, clay-hewn features on the pillow enough for them? Wasn’t that dramatic enough?
I turn and stumble from the room, making a break from the stench of communal hysteria. I need to get out. I need to set these bees free.
Before I know where I’m headed, I’m already half way towards my happy place.
10 more steps- there’s the gateway where I shared my first kiss.
10 more steps- I can just hear the sound of the river.
10 more steps- my whole face is hot and angry with the buzzing.
10 more steps- I’m there.
My hands find the rough edges of the dry-stone wall. I close my eyes. I still can’t swallow. My eyes fly open again – the image behind them isn’t something I want to see.
I pull myself onto the wall, swing my feet over and watch the river beneath me. This old bridge. My happy place.
I stare hard at the water flowing beneath my feet. A face is staring back at me. I sniff and try to swallow as the eel’s eyes meet mine. My breathing starts to calm. It’s face is wise. Old. Understanding. It reminds me of a Labrador. Placid. Patient. It’s barely shifting in the swift flow of the water, just a sinuous swish to keep its place. A tear hits the surface. And another.
I release my bees. They escape from my throat with a primal groan of pain. But the wall, the bridge, the eel and the river are there- as they always have been.
Let me know what you think... I haven't written short fiction in years, so feedback very welcome!
See you soon,
E x
Oh my gosh!!!!!!!!!!
You are an incredible writer!!!!!! So I'm not just hooked on your art!?!?! I'm hooked on your writing too!!!!!!
Love this so much... You've earned your surprise my dear ... I'll tell you what it is in DM hehehe
Oh wow- that means so much coming from you - thank you so much!
Oh my gosh- I'm all of a dither :)
Hopping over to DMs as we speak xx
Here at Steemit, I rarely find something this well written. From the first line I knew I am in for a treat - and I was!!!
I am still thinking about how your imagery was well defined, and yet, it is somehow nebulous, so that our own imagination is allowed to bring it to life, each in our own way.
If you could have, I have a feeling that adding to this a sketch of the way the image formed in your mind would have made this presentation even more of a special event.
Thank you for sharing - and I'm definitely on my way to click that silly 'follow' button.
What a lovely comment- thank you so much, I'm honoured by your compliment- though I must admit I've been revelling in the sheer amount of talent and creativity here at Steemit these past few weeks.
Do you mean a physical, sketch as in... drawing? I hadn't even considered that idea... now you've got me thinking!
I'll be sure to return your visit soon. Thanks so much for the follow :)
E x
I loved it @eveningart. So moving, I was right there with you - running away from the turmoil to the calm. I like your happy place :)
Thank you so much Jennifer I quite like my character's happy place too :)
I just love your style and voice and how non chalant-ly you draw the reader in.
Oh what a relief it is this happy place....but now I certainly am curious for more.... ;)
Thank you for the feedback - it's surprisingly nerve-wracking putting fiction up compared to blogposts or art pieces! So glad you enjoyed it. E x
I know right! Feel the same way. I think cuz fiction pieces such as these come from a very deep authentic part of us. Can't help but feel very much connected to it, and hence putting our self expression on display can feel a little more nerve wrecking than usual. ;)
Flash fictions are a good challenge, to bring a story arc and resolution all in such a short space in time.
Looking forward to more from you!
You're right! I love flash fiction- it feels like a good fit for a blog post! I think i need to work on that sense of a complete arc within a story more :)
Thanks again. E x
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