RE: Notes #25 - Some Days Are Full of Blah
A saint huh? I wouldn't say that, raw writing like this pulls the reader along with it.
I was brought up in the church, and though I didn't have the apparently awful experience you did, the brainwashing was an incredibly difficult thing to break free from. When you're told since you can think that you must believe in Jesus as Savior or you'll be cast into lakes of fire and outer darkness, the fear of such things happening is so deep rooted it's a feat akin to climbing Mount Everest to reach the point when you say out loud-- bullshit. And my parents are wonderful, loving people, and honestly that only made it a thousand times harder. Because they really and truly believe every bit of the twisted doctrines being taught.
I was pissed about the indoctrination for a long time until I came out the other side. On this side of it I do believe in a source of creation, though it is certainly not the smiting greybeard :)
You may not be wrong about the link with the tumor though. Spiritual and physical are certainly connected. I once watched a video about a man who was given a year to live and decided to live that year laughing. Six months later the medical community was confounded to find that his cancer had disappeared and he spread the word, that he laughed his tumor away.
And this too shall pass. I hope the blackness passes quickly.
Thanks for the thoughtful and thought out comment. I think we shared a similar upbringing, with the exceptions that you pointed out. My earliest memories are of being taught about Hell. I used to tell myself that my parents meant well. I truly believe a lot of Christians do. But I was wrong about my parents. I like how you put it - it can be like climbing Mt Everest. That is so spot on. I was well in adulthood before I could say Bullshit. I had been whispering it for a decade. Like a little mouse.
I too believe in a source of Creation. Perhaps believe is too absolute a term - I feel strongly that there is an intelligence behind everything. Consciousness, or something akin to that. Hard to narrow it down to fit the English language.
I don't doubt that laughing cured that man. I am working on my emotional states. I think that's why today's post rose up so freely. I think a balance of physical as well emotional/mental release of toxins is important. Thanks for sharing that example.