Question #21 Does anyone nag you??

A NEW YEAR (A.N.Y.), a new way question series:

On January first, I posted our first article in this series explaining a new way to approach New Year's resolutions. Each day we will explore a different question that challenges us to understand ourselves better. The format will be as follows: I will post the previous day's question with my answer followed by the next day's question for contemplation.

Here is my answer:

Nag, Nag, Nag, Nag, NAG! Ever had that one person in your life that just wouldn’t let up? It didn’t matter what situation came up, they had some retort regarding what you needed to change; in their opinion anyways. They may have found Jesus, quit smoking or lost all their weight and appointed themselves your savior. Asking for their help is inconsequential, you will get it anyways! The biggest offenders are the reformers and the perfectionists.

Zealot - 0 Perfectionist - 0

What is a reformer? A reformer is someone who has mastered a challenge in their life and makes it their personal mission to change others; with or without their permission. In their zeal, they attempt to help but instead become a hindrance. At first hint that the advice is helping the zealot shifts into overdrive. The problem lies in the shift between the two people. What shift? We have all felt the moment when we no longer want the change as much as the zealot. This can be instantaneously upon meeting or farther along the reformation path. This is the crucial moment that every zealot misunderstands. This is not the time to ramp up their sales pitch or prove ineffective. Instead of progress you create distance. If the zealot doesn’t stop they could potentially destroy the relationship. I have been on both sides of this experience; I was nagged by a religious zealot and have been a spiritual zealot as well. As I was typing this article it came to me how my zeal was overbearing; sobering realization.

What about the perfectionist? This zealot demands things done a certain way; their way. I once had a co-worker reprimanded harshly for placing the staple incorrectly in the corner of the documents she was correlating; it was supposed to be diagonal instead of straight. She wasn’t even haphazardly placing them there; it was just directionally challenged. Perfectionists are one thing but a reformed perfectionist is a totally different animal. I first witnessed the slob to first-stage neat freak transformation in my own life (read about it here in my other article called Hypocrisy is a fabulous thing. Through that experience, I didn’t become a reformer just enjoyed the evolution; my youngest son was a completely different story.

Sound advice from a "dick"

My 18 year old son had an epiphany during his last visit when he witnessed, with new eyes, how my hubby lived; He cleans and/or puts away things right after he uses them. That skill wasn’t evident in the environment he grew up in; our social circle consisted of like minded housekeepers. My husband was the first person he came in constant contact with this new paradigm. Well he took to it like a fish to water but more like a barracuda. He is now a relentless nag since he returned home to where his dad and 20 year old brother also reside; both are slobs in his estimation. I explained to him that if he keeps this up he will have an even bigger rebellion on his hand for nothing positive comes from nagging. I shared with him the secret that my hubby used to transform his reality to one that he wanted and I’ll quote, “I stopped being a nagging "dick" with my little comments and innuendos because they didn’t work. Instead, I took my wife’s advice and tried a different approach. I did a combination of actions; I continued living by the example I desired all the while envisioning my ultimate goal. Before long my reality became what I wanted with no more nagging required. I resigned my “dick” status.”

Sound advice for all.

Did this response resonate with you? I would love to hear your take on the question and how it impacted you. Please post your thoughts below.

Tomorrow's question: Do you have an aim in life and a plan for achieving it?

Response posted tomorrow.

Who is the Common Guru? Here is our introductory article
Follow us on Twitter
Subscribe to our YouTube channel.
Like us on Facebook

Pictures courtesy of Pixaby