High Noon on Jefferson: Chapter Twenty-three

Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-one
Chapter Twenty-two

Chapter Twenty-three

Ah, the fresh smell of swipes overly used! I love the smell of fresh wipes in the morning! It did wonders for my morning mood! Especially since it was wafting off Tom like how I imagined the eu de skunk must be like on Earth. And it actually did do wonders for my mood. The smell reminded me of Tom's apparent inability to duck. And what followed. I tried to suppress the smile! Really! But I couldn't. Remembering the sight of Tom seemingly trying to give the twarper a raspberry on its belly button was enough to give me the giggles. Apparently, not only me, because normally relatively stoic Jackie had a suppressed grin on her face as well. And was giving off giggles now and again.

Oh, Jackie! My Jackie!

Tom was walking a little ahead, stiff back and muttering. Really. If he was muttering, he ought to slouch. Stick backs are for indignancy and faux stiff upper lips. Keep calm and feign suppressed outrage and all that. The two, muttering and stiff back, made him even more ridiculous. Which made it all the funnier.

Knowing Tom, he was probably purposefully playing it up. If Tom was a comic book Immie character, he'd have been the Joker. The animated PG version, not the R version. The R version was ...terrifying. On the other hand, if ever did embrace the dark side, he'd probably be the R version. That was terrifying. Since I was there already, Jackie would have been the stoic Batwoman. And me? Who knows! I've always been so much better at understanding others than myself. Mostly.

Jackie kept grinning, so we were not so synced today. And as we hiked, Tom slowly wound down his act. Even with Jackie still grinning.

There were no trails where we were. This was becoming more and more wild Jefferson. Wherever people were, Earthlife infiltrated Jefferson. Little invaders to go with the humans so intent in spreading across the cosmos. Weeds, mice, bugs, gerbils - yes, gerbils! - followed along with humanity. They were not super common and rarely did really well with the different biochemistries, but they were present. Some, like rats, adapted relatively quickly. So did bermuda grass. Little sprigs of green were often around farms that were unwelcome both on the farm and in the wild. Yet, as we walked, the little sprigs disappeared and we were in the oranges, pinks and reds of Jefferson. Leaves of Earth were finally dismissed and held at bay by the fleshy pseudosucculent plants of Jefferson.

And the doughnut shop smell became overwhelming.

I had to wonder how rats and gerbils survived the taxitos. However, apparently they figured out a way and what they could eat. Perhaps they just raided human houses. Who knows?

And slowly, the doughnut shop smell faded away as our scent receptors either gave up or died. Occasionally, it intensified, as a breeze wafted the smell in stronger doses, but then, our noses faded back to nonsensing surrender. The giggles had subsided and we'd been walking for a couple hours, which doesn't really get someone that far if its over roughish terrain, to be honest. Roads! Whoda thunk they were so useful?!

We were about four kilometers away when we saw a repticulate. We froze and tinked whether or not to try to catch it. Before we could decide, it saw us. I guess it had been programmed to avoid us after we captured and interrogated the one near school and then get grabbed the ro-bat. It took off like it had rocket packs. Fortunately, it didn't really and it was much, much smaller than we were. That meant even if it was moving its legs at stupid speeds, we had a chance to run as fast as we could to keep up.

And we did, surprisingly enough.

Yet, the repticulate kept up its gingerbread man routine as long as it could.

And still we kept up.

It dodged.

We dogged kept along.

It weaved.

We kept on its tail like we were hunter spyders. What? You don't have hunter spyders? Sheesh. Earth has it easy. Except Australia. Everything supposedly tries to kill a person there. That sounded like the most Jeffersonian place on Earth. Except all the kangaroos. I mean, really? Giant hopping things? Weird.

Why are you looking at me like that?

The repticulate's energy stores most have started getting low or it had decided we were not couch potatoes and it couldn't have outrun us. It found and dove into a rock with a crevice just large enough for itself and too small for anything other than fingers. No way, it's programming probably thought, it was going to be pulled out by a bunch of kids!

The programmers that created its AI must have been from Earth. No one on Jefferson would have made that mistake. Kids and teens on Jefferson had things that were banned for anyone under 21 in America on Earth. Things that were wildly inappropriate for living in tightly packed cities were useful tools out in the wilds of exoplanets. Had we been a touch older, had we been a touch more insightful, we would have realized this and been happy: no Jeffersonian was the culprit!

Except, well, we didn't realize it at the time.

Jackie just pulled out her hunter's knife, a good 20 cm long blade, and used the dull side to pry the little, hissing robot out. When its tail where we could reach it, I grabbed as strong as I could. It hissed more and belched out its awful smelling stomach contents: rotting Jefflife bugs.

Please.

Like that would have ever deterred some Jeffersonian teens!

After some back and forth, we finally pulled it out of the rock. I tried to grab it behind the head so it couldn't bite me. I was less than successful. And it had a mean bite! It bit right through my glove. Stupid thing! I bashed it hard against the rock to disable it: it was just a robot after all and one that just bit me. That did the trick.

A small bead of blood came from my compromised glove.

I handed the repticulate to Jackie and pulled off my glove. I'd get it fixed at home. Note: when going into the wild somewhere, take extras of whatever might get damaged and need replacing. Like, y'know, gloves. I fished inside my backpack for a replacement and felt the sting of the bite. I needed to clean it, just in case some bit of Jefflife from the repticulate's teeth got into the wound.

I sighed and looked up.

Tom had a wipe ready.

And a smirk with a barely suppressed laugh.

Jerk.

A thoughtful one.

But still a jerk.