Cliffs of Utpala (scifi story): Chapter Eight

just a beetal billy goat. I didn't have time today to photoshop it into a barn or whatnot for the story. Sorry

Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Kyra had talked Arjun out and then dropped into her seat at her workstation. She was certain she was going to go with Arjun to help find the shuturamurg. It was not going to be a quick and dirty trip. Hunting something that did not want to be found was going to take days. Not just one or two, but as much as a whole week. That was going to be a problem. She did not want problems. She did not need problems. But she was going to get a problem, a big one from going with Arjun.

For a solid moment, a long solid moment, she considered backing out. She knew it was going to cost her to run off with her friend. It was going to cost her in multiple ways. Her place in the colony was going to be impacted. If she lost her job and no one trusted her to do another job, she might have had to face the consequences. Being tagged as unreliable could mean being shipped out of the colony - which for one hot second actually excited her - until she remembered she would either end up on Suryaloka, a hot dry world, a superEarth stripped of most of its volatiles, or on Rudra, a world colder than even Utpala and with nasty winds. Or even better, she might have been just cast out and made to fend on her own, without the help of mother India. That wasn't quite a death sentence, but it was really close unless she was really on her toes.

She was.

But!

It would not just her that suffered. Her family would have the stigma and shame of her deportation or exile. It would have broken her mother's heart and probably permanently harm her father. She would have hurt them deeply. And then it would have harmed their future. She didn't know exactly how, but she knew it would have. And then her siblings would be, at best, viewed with suspicion.

For a split second, she thought her youngest and most mischievous brother might actually have deserved that suspicion, but she felt a stab of guilt and whatever her feelings were, he should have to earn whatever stigma he did, not be given it by her.

Part of her screamed, her heart, her soul, screamed she needed this. Just do it, it howled. You did not choose to be born on Utpala. You deserve your own choices and your own life. .

And yet another side, seemed to calmly whisper, we are more than our own desires, Kyra. We have obligations in life as well. You know this. You could permanently damage your place, your family's place and more in this world by doing this.

Still another voice cackling and laughed, bitterly and amusedly, You know yourself, Kyra. You already know what you are going to do. Why are you having this internal self doubt and debate at all?

She took a deep breath and forced down her contradictory thoughts and feelings. At moments, she felt as though she was a member of the Hindu pantheon and had all her aspects appearing at once. And they were arguing. She took another deep breath. She only had that happen when she was really nervous. Or stressed. Or had massive anxiety. They weren't really voices in her head, but rather just strong thoughts and seemed to be rather different from one another, enough they almost sounded like different people, but they were not. They were all her. No one was so simple as to ever have one aspect or voice. She was definitely not.

She sighed. That last cackler was right. She was going to do it. She needed to. In her soul. The debate was over. At least that debate. Truth be told, it never even started. She knew what she was going to do from the moment she knew Arjun was not kidding. She was going to go. She also knew she had to stop the consequences from reaching her family and, if possible, from touching her either.

The right thing to do would have been to ask permission. That would take days, if not weeks. Even out in the colonies, India could have taught the Byzantines a thing or two. If one deviated from the norm, the climb out of the rut was extremely difficult. And there were functionaries, even here, who would have been displeased. The problem with doing it the right way was the shuturamurg was almost certainly going to be long gone by the time the approval would have been given. Or if it was not, either Arjun would have thrown his hands up in the air and left without her. Or someone else would have caught the shuturamurg. Her friendship with Arjun would not recover. The greatest event of a life time for someone like him and she would have denied it to him. That was equally unacceptable.

She skewed up her face and wiggled her nose from left to right and right to left and back once more. She rose from her workstation and went to the refrigerator. It wasn't her lunch time just yet, but it was her favor pet's lunch time. She rummaged around in the fridge and found what she was looking for. She had a bag of carrots she kept in the back. She took out one and then half consciously decided on two. She did all of this absent-mindedly. She was thinking of her dilemma with Arjun and the shuturamurg-hunt.

She wandered over to the goats and there, Goatjira was waiting. He bleeted at her and she fed him a carrot and then the second...and wasn't paying attention enough. Goatjira nipped her fingers and she yelped. She gave Goatjira a look that seemed to be accusatory and scolding all at once. Goatjira gave her a flat stare back across his proud nose that returned a "pay attention to life or a goat nip is the least of your problems, girl."

Goats, so full of wisdom. Who would have thought?