Have you ever read a piece of fiction or a poem and thought 'That's shit!'?

If so, you are taking your first steps towards composing a critique. Write 'That's shit!' as your first sentence.

Don't stop there though. That's not the most constructive advice a budding writer can receive. We need to expand on 'That's shit!' to help the writer understand where they are getting it wrong. We also need to show them where they're getting it right. Great writers don't just spawn overnight. Anyone can write but it takes practice to get good at it. Almost as important is honest, constructive feedback (the critique).

How do we expand our critique?

By interrogating the writing itself. Asking questions.

Why is it shit? What grated on you the most?

Were the characters like cardboard cut-outs, in need of filling out? Or, did they blur into one another so much you couldn't tell who was who?

Bored

Did it bore you in parts? Which parts? Too much rambling? Too much scene setting? Too much navel gazing? Not enough forward momentum? Did you lose the plot?

Tense

Did the tense chop and change too much? Were you confused as to whether you were in the past, present or future?

Tone

How about the tone? Were there jarring changes in tone that gave the piece an overall feeling of inconsistency?

Genre

Was it a genre you don't like? Maybe you're a 'horror' fan but accidentally read a 'romance'. BTW, it doesn't matter if you hate the genre you're critiquing as long as you understand the rules. If you critique a sci-fi piece, you know it's reasonable to find some reality-bending that would be jarring in historical fiction, for example.

What's going on?

Was it confusing? Were you unsure of the setting or wondering who was in the 'scene'? Were you confused as to what genre you were reading?

Talk to me, baby!

Was the dialogue cheesy or unrealistic? Did everybody sound the same or was the lingo indecipherable? Was the dialogue unbelievable?

Action

Were the actions unfeasible?

But I thought his name was...

Was it inconsistent in any way? Did a character change name, visual appearance, or the way they speak?

Seems familiar

Was it a rip-off of some other, more superior, story? How?

VERY IMPORTANT

You must also tell the writer what you LIKED about their writing.

Tell them what really worked for you: the character that came to life; the line that made you laugh or cry; the perfect pacing; the build up of tension...

Cruel

If you can't find positive things to say, you're going to break the writer's heart. If there's nothing you like about it, go and critique something else. An overly negative critique is not constructive. Balance is key.

Exposed

It's difficult on this platform because nobody wants to feel vulnerable, exposed. It's not easy to offer up your precious writing to be savaged. Harder still is to give that savaging. We rely on good relations and mutual support here. The last thing we want to do is piss anyone off. It's easy to slap praise around, no matter how insincere. And I've seen plenty of that. You know who you are :D

Reality

Maybe there's room for a bit more reality here. I don't suggest you fire off, all willy nilly, with unsolicited critiques. Not everyone is ready for this. Some writers just want upvotes and a blowjob. But if a writer calls out for some honest feedback, it's kind of you to provide this. The writer is often too close to their own writing to see where it works and where it doesn't.

If you look at any professional field, honest feedback from peers, bosses and customers is very important. It helps the professional learn from their mistakes and hone their craft.

Why should I bother?

Reading critically helps you develop as a writer. Your awareness of technique develops. You notice which things work, or don't. You learn from the writer's mistakes and then apply these techniques to your own writing.

Don't give what you can't take

Read your critique and ask yourself whether you'd be hurt by anything in your comments such as, 'Please ask someone to remove your typing fingers.' If the feedback is too personal, it doesn't help the writer. It just makes an enemy. Only offer genuinely useful feedback.

Now, go back to the beginning of your critique and...

Delete your first sentence – 'That's shit!'.

DO NOT FORGET THIS STEP

There. Your critique is now ready to send. You've provided useful information for the writer to think about. They can now edit and improve.

Well done, you.

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All pics are freely available online (pixabay, wikimedia) and labelled for reuse
Shoutout to @eaglespirit for pointing out the need to cite sources. Cheers :D