Word Vomit #1: My disorganized thoughts put into words

Where is Steemit taking me?

I have taken time off from my usual posts for a reason I cannot point out. I just didn't feel like posting about anything at all. I take a look at my computer screen, scroll through the posts I have made and feel like I haven't been giving it my all. I have had a long list of things I would like to write about for some time now which I believe people may want to hear. In fact, my bio says it all:

That's a lot to take in. My long list goes one and each day, I seem to add another note telling myself to do this and do that. I have so many aspirations for the platform but it disappoints me to see myself not working my way to get there. In all honesty, I am making progress though. I am a little bit closer to what I had envisioned myself.

My #clayartcontest is doing fine. I have had 4 sponsors for 5 runs and I couldn't have imagined myself with the contest right now if it weren't for their help. It's an arduous task to host a contest and I did not expect the work I had to give to make one a success. However, looking back at my first post I believe I had my vision set straight out: I am a quality curator in Steemit and I will reward clay artists in steemit with whatever I have to offer. I guess it's one advantage of writing a blog. When you feel like you have lost your fire, you just look back at what sparked the flame in the first place.

I have posted 3 health education posts. That's not a lot considering the number of insights and information I have of the medical field. I have so much to say but to no avail have I posted them. The list goes longer each day as I tell myself, "I should write about this. It could help people understand themselves and what they are going through".

I am blabbering. I guess what I am trying to say is maybe I should give myself a pat on the back for reaching this far. And while my list has not gotten shorter, at least my sanity is still intact which leads me to my second point.

Taking Time for Myself

I think part of the reason why I just don't feel posting at all is how I haven't had any time for myself in the past days. Before Steemit came, I used to spend countless hours alone and thinking of just about anything that enters my consciousness. It's a bit unorthodox but I very much enjoy doing things alone as it allows me to have full control over my personal space.

It was common for me to sit outside, on the balcony with a cup of milk or coffee and music from the 90's playing from my phone. Just thinking about it makes me feel how heavenly it was to be in the comforts of my own time, my own pace. I could most probably do it now but there is that lingering feeling of leaving so much. In Steemit, we have an unsaid rule of "no post no pay". Of course, we could always comment and curate but the fact is that you are still using the platform.

I guess I need to constantly remind myself to take a sit back and relax. My brain is just so wired with the idea of earning that I compromise the quality of life I want for myself. To myself: "You need to learn the virtue of balancing between work-play". The idea of not posting for a day just sounds dreadful. I need to correct that.

I guess these thoughts have something to do with me being a type A personality - where everything has to be as it should be. Long story short, type A personalities are perfectionists. This brings me to another thought in mind:

Quality Content?

In Steemit, we are told to create quality content, make posts which are of value to the community. Each one of us is urged to gather all that we can muster to make sure that our posts are worthy of being read.

As much as I can, I strick through this idea. While I could game the system and post shitposts to get money, it just doesn't seem right, does it? Some people do it, why can't I? I have these thoughts sometimes. There are moments where I would love to talk about something comical but "Quality Content" hits me right in the gut and I tell myself to save it for other social media sites. There is something intrinsically wired within me which compels me to stick to the rules which govern the things I do. I am a Blogger in Steemit so quality should be a priority.

But it does assert the question: "What about my thoughts? What about my epiphanies, my sudden realizations, and quick insights? Am I allowed to blurt out my inner darker, less filtered thoughts on the platform? Would that constitute as quality content?" I would love to hear everyone's thoughts about this.

In defense of myself (lol), I believe everyone has the right to post anything they want. It's part of the whole system being decentralized. No one can take away your freedom of speech. I realize that you are creating a brand in Steemit and if you would like to be known as such then so be it. It doesn't matter if you talk about what you wore today and put it up online but you have to be aware that the entire international community can see it. What you post becomes a definition of who you are.

Word Vomit

With that thought process, I would like to add another 'gig' to my blog called #wordvomit. In my own unbiased perception, the Steemit community has a rather corporate appeal to it. While it is a social media site, the meritocratic system favors those who are more deserving of the rewards. This makes people, mostly myself, to try to act as professional as I can on the platform.

However, restricting myself to the boundaries of the corporate world takes away the authenticity of my thoughts. It erodes my psyche to think most of the time, my actions are being evaluated by everyone. Heck, all you do is recorded in the blockchain for crying out loud. That's one thing that's very scary about Steemit sometimes. Yikes. It's not healthy to think about it sometimes.

I just have this misconception that I have to create tutorials, informative posts or wordy explanations all the time. I try to be as informative as I can but it drains you sometimes. I find that feeding your ego and writing about yourself and where you are heading does help a little bit. This is just my opinion, I would love to listen what you have to say.

All I am trying to say is that maybe I need to allow myself to be quirky and stupid and slightly unprofessional in Steemit from time to time. We are not machines and sometimes our thoughts and emotions maybe worth sharing. I will be making #wordvomit occasionally posts to release my inner thoughts and maybe you should too. I really found writing this post to be therapeutic as it allowed me to organize myself a little bit. It has been found that writing about something concretizes that experience allowing you to have a deeper understanding of what you really think.

I leave the evaluation of this post to be 'quality content' for you. What do you think? If you have any thoughts, do share them below. I would love to hear your sentiments.