𝕥𝕖𝕒𝕞𝕙𝕦𝕞𝕓𝕝𝕖 // 17th March 2k18 // brain chemistry is the ultimate hacker.

Yesterday was an odd kinda day, we left early after only waking up thirty minutes previously, half a sleep outta the door and grabbing a bus for breakfast wake up and plenty of coffee. I was wiped.

Once breakfast was eaten and double back to back coffees were on deck we then entered the madness that is the local town with it’s over sized vape shop, @dayleeo made me laugh again at the size of the vape shop for the kind of town it is — we grabbed bits from the store and headed to swims.

On my back, floating, watching the ceiling wood move by I wondered what it would be like to just be finished there and then in the pool like that, just fade out, the world finishing.

I know it’s dark but with us cascading towards climate doom and countries want to flex muscles on advanced technology as a show of foolish strength it just all feels very cold war all over again. It’s hard to ignore, being a ground sign I feel very in tune with the angry and sound of the winds and the what seems like impeding doom of our own version of ‘the road’

Sorry to be miserable, I promise you I’m fighting it and I know I should just be heads and shoulders above it, especially on paddys day where we all knock back a few pints and forget all about it.

I’ve had a few brain chemistry days like that, you know the ones I mean, the one where your brain seems to take over the steering position, jumps in the seat and starts to navigate very tesla auto like, just keep to the lines, indicator and overtake, slow down, speed up — forward motion.

I think all the walking, swimming, food intake this week just let me to a mental exhaustion day, I think I was just mentally burnt out, that’s why last night I just could not get in the headspace to even write, I was tapped. Some days are just a real real uphill challenge, my legs were burning from all the lactic acid build up.

And now I’m in that cloud headspace zone, sorta floating above the white noise of the day, coffee number two at my side, lemon water intake, battling sleep patterns disrupted by turmeric and fish oils (don’t have them at night kids, you won’t sleep well)

wondering if your daughter is warm enough because you have the roof cranked a little (+1 person equals more heat on top of the heater type situation) knowing that ‘mini beast’ from the east is coming in.

And then waking up and nothing, no snow, and actually it’s coming in tonight not now, like I time travelled a day, told my daughters mum she might have snow to get through and we have nothing, feel like some days I wake up like ground hog day and replay a day from another dimension.

And yet.

In the middle of all that ground jerking swell of mental overload and exhaustion fatigue I know I need to write, to reactivate my proof of brain more to myself than the blockchain, the need to fire out words from the finger tips into the keyboard, to recalibrate my brain chemistry, removing the stealth ninja from front and centre and be once again in driving position and take this human carriage of autonomous mode.

One up side yesterday our t-shirts for our project arrived so that’s a little glimmer of awesome and we did post out first new podcast over on http://anchor.fm/positive so stoked about getting that done but just had a few days of cloudy vision

pinterest epic wins pinboard → brand advocate for nokia, 1000heads, verisign → won vloggie for node666 (san fran 2006) → television for time team history hunters 1999 (burton on trent) → sold me.dm to evan williams in april 2011 → went to phil campbell, alabama to help raise money after tornado ripped up the town (was on sky news, bbc news)→ CNN for sxsw 2013 about austin south by southwest event → video chat with robert scoble from rackspace → music video can you spot me? → won the digital derry contest for 5k euros → crowdfunded digital signage concept called pi street → now living life through digital blockchains.