Lucky Escape: The Weekend Freewrite 3/2/2019

in weekendfreewrite •  8 months ago 

There is no doubt that this unquestionable order will come to pass raced through Peter's mind. It was the first time he had guns directly pointed at him.

He thought about all the cop movies and youtube channels showing how every black man dies - move an inch and you're pumped full of lead. Later they would claim Parker was a drug addict who was ready to open fire with a planted gun. When does it end? he asked himself.

The Captain barked again, "Follow my orders to shoot the target or you will be facing charges."

The policemen around tightened their grips around the handle but none could come to pulling the trigger.

"Fuck it! I'll do it myself." The captain turned to face Peter's back, a revolver held to the back of his head.

Peter pissed his pants, but that didn't bother him. All he could think about was getting one more chance to stand in front of the judge for his final decision about what to do with his life.

December in Dublin is remarkably high spirited. Peter prayed for something strange and odd to happen when a drunk man sat straight up, breaking the cardboard box he had been sleeping in. He was dress in warm winter clothes. The lack of the man's showering nestled into the nose of Parker and the Captain. They both moved to the left to get out of the radius of the smell.

The captain turned his gun on the drunkard and said, "Get out of here before, I arrest you for being drunk in public."

"You mean to tell me that I'd have a warm bed and a hot meal. How could I pass up this opportunity."

The police surrounding the area behind the Captain lowered their weapons. Their wills were not strong enough to commit two cold-blooded murders in one day.

The drunkard began to dance and sing as he stomped his way out of the box.

The loose floorboard was kicked up out of the snow by the drunkard, which caught the Captain by surprise.

Peter, noticing that the attention was no longer on him, bolted down toward the boats hoping to catch a one. Behind him, he heard the crack of a board followed by a rapid series of shots thereafter.

They got their quota for the night. Peter felt sick to his stomach as the thought coursed through his mind, but he had to keep moving. He had to get to safety. The docks were his only refuge.

When he got close to the boats, he looked back up the hill to see if any lights were following him. They weren't. He thought he was out of danger until he heard the vicious growl of a dog behind him. He'd forgotten about the police dog.

They weren't going to let him get away so easily.

NorthWest_Mounted_Police_and_woman_with_dogsled_team,_Dawson,_Yukon_Territory,_ca_1898_HEGG_643.jpg
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I wonder what he did as the captain wanted to shoot him. But he was lucky with the distraction. I also wonder what happened to that guy being happy to have a warm bed and meal :) What a pity that the dog was there. But I'm sure he'll manage to escape somehow as he sounds like a clever man :)

Congratulations on your curie vote! Thank you for sharing and have a nice day!

I went from the perspective that cops are trained (a lot of it subconsciously) to kill black people for any small thing. Police get away with it far too often for it not to be a thing.

Lucky distraction indeed. - Hey, @delishtreats, when it is snowing outside, any place inside is a welcomed dream come true. lol

Thanks! I'm truly surprised by it.

Be well.

So happy that you got a curie Vote!! I was traveling and sick and haven't been much on Steem besides trying to keep up with the prompt posts. Congratulations!!

Glad to hear you are better. Traveling and sick isn't much fun.

I've been wanting that for a long time and it finally came.

I am glad it did. I only have gotten a couple on my time here... they are special!

Took me about a year. It lets me know that my writing is getting better.

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Congratulations @tristancarax!
Your post was mentioned in the Steem Hit Parade in the following category:

  • Upvotes - Ranked 9 with 1389 upvotes

Starting from the first line, already something is a brewing with how slanted it was and how it basically prefaces the entire read. The lines in particular for those who blazed through this:

There is no doubt that this unquestionable order will come to pass

Based upon that line do we get to feel the adrenaline rush of Peter, the internal strife of knowing what happens in a police stickup scene, the aftermath and the police brutality that follows around but is never getting enough satisfaction for their desires. All of this can easily be seen from the code of conduct (COC if need be referenced again) carried out, the rather power balance they seek to establish, the juxtaposition of seriousnes to spirit's on any contingent day and the absurdity life can give to those that reinforce these systemic institutions. Case-in-point being that despite already being honed in on one person, they forget the World exists and have only a lick of care for the mission and forgetting why they carry out the mission. As seen here:

The police surrounding the area behind the Captain lowered their weapons. Their wills were not strong enough to commit two cold-blooded murders in one day.

But yet, as long as societies exist, so do the way people operate. In essence, the "individual" whether poltical or apolitical is indeed ideological and have biases of their own. What remains is if they seriously want to make the ruling ideology a bit more of theirs or support it by not challenging it, respectively to political and apolitical people. And Peter knows this very well, the quota systemme and what not, yet it still makes any a person sick if outside the systemic instiutions that cause systemic problems. And whence victory was thought of being achieved, so were the hopes dashed and a new chase to begin. Maybe not with the impulses of humans, but definitely under the hostility (and especially trained killer) K9 Units. Also known as "police dogs" as this K9 went the long track. And in the end we see:

When he got close to the boats, he looked back up the hill to see if any lights were following him. They weren't. He thought he was out of danger until he heard the vicious growl of a dog behind him. He'd forgotten about the police dog.

They weren't going to let him get away so easily.

An interesting cop-horror story mediated by the contingent wackiness life can through at indeterminably (which is different from random).

Congrats on the @curie btw!~

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I'd be more willing to accept this spam if there was a nice upvote to go along with it.

Indeed, a lucky escape it was. I started your story thinking of it as a real life incidence but it was when I was ending that I saw that it was all a free writing.
I really gave in your efforts and they were worth every second I spent on reading. Great piece

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Wow. It excited me to read what you wrote. When I write these, my focus is to write and not worry about what comes out. I do a minimal amount of editing afterward and post. The one thing that has helped me the most in writing these is a technique called clustering, which I got from this book. Things flow out and connect in ways a cold freewrite can't do most of the time.

The fact that you didn't know this was a freewrite until the end tickles me silly.

Thanks for stopping by and may our paths cross again.

Yea..... One of us is now on a happy escape now and I pray we cross each other soonest

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{A disclaimer, yes I am commenting twice. Once for the @bananafish and other as me in this one. The @bananafish comment is line more with the consensus of the @bananafish community; this one more on what I want to focus and what I wanted to expound upon. That and highlight certain other things...}


The formatting: I think for the most part, since I know not the specific formating free-writing is not allowed to use (other than stolen pictures which is a universal rule on Steemit), I shan't mention any mentioning for <"strong"> or <"hr/"> except for here. In any a case, I feel as if the internal monologing definitely could've been expanded upon and easily we could've had an easy reach into Peter's psychology. But the potential is there, and any future rewrites with Peter's situation should consider that. In any a case for other formatting and the such, I would suggest, unironically breaking my mentioning rule just this once again, using <"strong"> and <"i"> for more than two people dialogues; peck even for a regular one-on-one conversation. As that can present easy ways to know when a character is stressing a certain thing or in general when you want to show that these characters at least aren't sounding their usual accent. Or if you want to have an easy for people to identify characters X, Y and Z. Not saying, which I should've mentioned earlier (but let this be an example to ye commenters!), this is a problem with this post and I was able to understand the dialogue well without problem. Just think this little knowledge in relationship to Steemit (and other blogs that use html) is useful.

La filosofía (be ready for me to jump to different scenarios in the middle of two different sentences): For while, in any circumstances, the necessity of Peter being caught didn't determine the Hobo's interruption, neither did the Hobo's interruption would coincide with Peter's arrest. And here we see how these necessities play off each other to form contingencies as to give the breadth of not only a literal escape (a vulgar freedom). But also of another thing: that the universe isn't wholly "free will" nor "determinist" and neither a compatabilist suggestion. But rather an indeterminable World neither of "free wills" under the illusion of determinants nor Total "Determinacy" across the board. One where, despite the contingent acts of the hobo at the scene, had necessitated Peter to flee the scene (and the cops to shoot the hobo for any slew of reasons) which was instigated by a core contingent factor (turned necessity) of Peter fleeing. This interplay of contingencies-necesssities especially seen at the very end, where the contingent factor truly becomes a necessity (at least to the cops) of undoing now the contingent factor by making up for it. Where they send their fastest and vicious killing units in the police force: K9s. And while we can talk of necessities of contingencies even further, let's cease the dialogue here on my part for now by claiming they are dialectical doubles. Where necessity is things we can see and make sense out of, contingencies of things yet we can't understand or happening so much in our face that we can't understand it just yet.

So congrats on earning that @curie upvote, happy writing and happy steeming!

@theironfelix, as always, you never fail to disappoint when leaving a comment. Thanks for that.

Yes, in a freewrite, you're given a word, phrase, or picture, phrases for the Saturday freewrite, which includes 3 different prompts. It's a very tough thing to piece together when the next prompt throws in a monkey wrench.

Should I work on this piece in the future, I'm keeping your suggestion to expand on the psychology of Peter in mind.

<"strong"> or <"hr/">

I don't understand this. resource?

Thanks for the food for thought.

Welcome for the comment!~ ;P

Might wanna check out the #electricdreams contest by @tygertyger. I think she still runs it, and I thought I saw yah in it once or twice or thrice in the past. But if not: basically a whole peck ton of more words to allow a deeper fleshing out for any tricky set of prompts (always three of them).

Ooooooooooooooooooo~ Do keep that in mind then, write it down someone if need be! :p

Remove the quotation marks first of all. Second of all, "strong" qua HTML make things bold and <"hr/"> acts like <"br"> in HTML but giving a dividing line as well. So basically remove the quotation marks inside the arrow brackets and basically yah got two more html tools on yer side when making posts.

Welcome once again for the comment! ~^^~

Ok police dogs are scaryyyyy

Here's anothe Prompt and Invitation

8A4D536F-B6CA-4A1E-93ED-90BC10AAE49E.PNG

Very polemic story. Nothing scarier than crimes being commited by law enforcement men and women. Common criminals tend to have some kind of reason, even if twisted. What rationale can peole in uniform have? Except the pursue of pure power through brutal force and the sick satisfaction derived from it.
We have plenty of that over here. People say, half humorously, that in a lonely night, out in the streets, they'd rather be surprised by thugs than by military.
As for Peter, better fight an angry dog than an indiferent bullet.

Hi tristancarax,

This post has been upvoted by the Curie community curation project and associated vote trail as exceptional content (human curated and reviewed). Have a great day :)

Visit curiesteem.com or join the Curie Discord community to learn more.

Upvote for a freewrite? WOW!!! I've seen it before and was hoping for one eventually. I got it. One more treasure found. Sweat. Thanks for your curation efforts, team @curie. Your support helps to encourage me to fall flat on my face a hundred times for that one time the brilliance shines forth.