TEARDROPS SMT Token Rewarding Proof of Tears 1: Teardrops from Introvert Child

Few days ago, I have read about the Teardrops smt token initiated by @surpassinggoogle and read other steemians experiences about their teardrops in life. They have different stories, some heavy dramas that touches my heart. At first I am skeptical to make my post for teardrops because I am not used to express my feelings and tell my stories. But reading other stories gave me courage to share also mine. I think I have to get out again from my shell.

Open source

“Alone had always felt like an actual place to me, as if it weren’t a state of being, but rather a room where I could retreat to be who I really was.” – Cheryl Strayed

This is exactly what I am when I was a child until my teenage life. Known for being quiet, always in my room. Prefer to be alone than being surrounded by many people. Often think alone and day dreaming. Not so good in making friends and not always ready to mingle with new people. Seems not usual for a child. But being alone from time to time helps me regain my inner strength as a human.

I'm not saying I had the worst childhood life because I am also a normal person who knows how to play, talk to my closest friends, having a good time and be happy on my own ways. But the thing is, I have this other side that always made my teardrops fall.

Introvert is what we are called
Many people don't understand us at all
Our feelings, our thoughts, our attitude
Often misjudge by what we do
Thinking we are boring and rude
Others think I am just fine
Tell something I wouldn't mind
I will just laugh and hide
But here, deep in my heart
It hurt much and I cried
Open source

My StoryAs I remembered, whenever we had visitors I often hide in our room and stayed until they are gone. When I am with someone, I never initiated a conversation and when they asked me, I just answered their question only. In our class, I am the student who will raise my hand last. I'm not comfortable to speak in front of many people. I always pretend I am fine when in fact I'm not. I always hide whenever I'm about to cry. Sometimes they are comparing me to others who are active and jolly and then I will just show them I don't care but deep inside my self steem down again. My other friends told me that I am a strong person and hard to reach out.

The Struggle of being introvert• In a society where socialization is strongly encouraged, introverts struggle to be accepted.
• Because of being introvert and preferred to stay at home, others looked down upon their habits.
• It was hard for the introvert to explain to people that they don't like parties that much.
• Want to out of their shell but they can't destroy the boundaries they made.

Being introvert person is not easy. I tried to not being one but ended up going to my room alone again and again. Then thinks deeply, keeps it to myself, and feels depleted by social situations.
The frustrating part is that no matter how much I plan my life, and structure it to suit my needs, I cannot avoid my own emotions.

Of course, I still try.
I hide, I numb, I deny, an all in effort to sidestep the discomfort of feeling my emotions. Then still, Teardrops came out like a falls and hide it so that no one will know even my parents. I just want to portray that I am always fine.

But I Overcome it. Tears of JoyBeing introvert is just a part of myself. I did many things to overcome it, but none succeeded. Only when I started to know about Jehovah God and draw close to Him, I feel like I have someone who truly understand me and accept me for who I am. Little by little, I've learned how to control my emotions, learned to communicate well with others and shows the real me.

Open source

“Keep on, then, seeking first the Kingdom and his righteousness, and all these other things will be added to you." - Matthew 6:33

This Bible verse helps me a lot. I started to focus on serving Jehovah and true, the struggle of being introvert gone. Yes until now, sometimes I feel that way and prefer to be at my room but just to regain my inner strength and then I am strong again to face the world. Now remembering all of this, the struggle and how I overcome it makes my tears fall again but this time it is called "Tears of Joy".

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#teardrops
#untalented
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