The Greatest Gift

While most people love receiving gifts for Christmas or their birthday, I've not been a fan of physical gifts for many years.  I realized through my recovery that we often want to give gifts as a reflection of how we feel, hoping that the physical object will express the words that we don't want to say or hope the gift masks our loathing or hatred.  But how many of us actually share how we feel with somebody we care about?  

Working with others to learn how to use words to express myself and hearing others do the same with me was a mind blowing experience.  I found a connection so deep, intimate and spiritual that I had a hard time leaving. I found the type of relationship that my spirit, heart and mind wanted.  A relationship where both sides have the courage to express feelings with words.  I've spent the rest of my life looking for relationships where I could have that kind of connection once again.  They are soooooo rare!

But this gift is more than just words.  It also involves the capacity to hear what the other is saying, empathize with them and find peace.  It is a relationship where conflicts can be resolved peacefully without the use of violence, coercion or bullying.  Showing respect, honour and integrity within the relationship is a path that requires months or even years to express to build trust with the other individual.  It is a complex journey but if both parties go into it willingly and consciously, it can be extremely rewarding.  This is what I've done with my wife and we have been a power house ever since.  

Pepe Roque  Queen of the Andes, this plant flowers after 80-100 years.  Still not the Greatest Gift!

I work hard to live my life with this level of integrity.  Some days I fail, but I continue the journey with these goals in mind.  I know lots of people watch me as I spent the last 10 years talking about these issues.  Oddly, the ladies in my life really resonate with what I do.  It seems easier to build that kind of relationship with women than it is with men.  This weekend I invited a group of men out to our domain to do a team building / healing retreat for the men in my tribe.  I pray we can build some bridges to open the lines of communication, trust and vulnerability so that we can build similar relationships with one another.

Yesterday a dear friend of mine expressed how deeply moved she is with her relationship with me and how much she trusts me.  Her interaction with me has provided a level of trust and faith to allow herself to surrender the masculine energy and completely surrender into the feminine energy.  It was the first time in her life that she was able to do that.  Then to have her share her feelings of gratitude, trust, appreciation, respect, honour and integrity was beyond any expectation I had and was on par with the type of relationship I have with my wife.  To have a lady say something like this reminded me of the deep, intimate connections I first experienced years ago during my recovery, where a group of broken people rose up above their trauma and made deep, meaningful, spiritual connections with one another.  It is so rewarding and heart warming to hear these kinds of words come from somebody else.  

What makes this even more rewarding is that it takes years to build this level of relationship.  There has been so much violence in our lives, when people make changes, it takes a long time to demonstrate that change.  People expect violence at the next encounter as trust no longer exists in many relationships in our lives.  Trust is built through repeated peaceful encounters over a long period of time.

Sadly, women don't feel safe because of all the violence in our society, communities and even in the bedrooms.  Show of hands to those who feel safe.  Anybody?  I suspect nobody will raise their hand.

I've found great success in my life by changing my whole outlook on life.  I speak endlessly about peaceful relationships, but what is my relationship like with women?  Well, my friend used a great analogy and I'm going to shamelessly steal it from her for this post.  

She compared the relationship between men and women with a bow and arrow.  The arrow is the penetrating energy which represents the masculine.  The bow is the power, authority and direction that energy is used.  Because the masculine energy is so penetrating, it must be tempered and directed with a loving, nurturing and caring energy, otherwise we would be at war constantly.  Sound familiar?  

But when the masculine surrenders and partners with the feminine, the divine feminine can then engage in her energy as they both work together to tackle life issues.  But that requires that the masculine stop using his penetrating energy by using his arrow like a sword.  Yes, it gets results.  But when we partner as equals with the divine feminine and allow her to guide our energy, our masculine energy can go much farther, faster and penetrate deeper than any hand wielded arrow ever could.  

Make no mistake, that energy does not mean waging war with others.  The masculine energy is not a war energy, but rather is responsible for providing, protecting, balancing, nurturing and even confronting.  A spiritual warrior does not engage in war, but rather is a master of the Pacem Arts (The art of Peace).  When a divine masculine energy is allowed to flow peacefully, the divine feminine takes notice and comes running.  

Of that I have no doubt.  I have a LOT of lady friends in my life.  Why?  Because I believe they see the work that I've done and it sings to their hearts.  They are waiting for the divine masculine energy to heal so that the men can stand in that energy.  When that happens, the two energies can join forces, finish the healing and learn how to stand side by side as equals in order to balance one another.  

What is the greatest gift?  Having somebody acknowledge that she feels that balance with me within our relationship.  This is not sexual at all but rather an spiritual relationship that has reached resonance, peace and freedom to explore the full scope, power and authority of spirit.  Having somebody express that level of gratitude and appreciation is far beyond any physical gift anybody could give me.  It is this level of relationships that I am after. 

I am moved to tears as this gift took over 50 years to make.  It is rare as it requires healing on both sides.  But when it happens, it is beautiful.  Words cannot express how deeply moving and rewarding it is to have relationships reach this level.  It takes years of hard work and an undying dedication to peace, communication and freedom.  But when we reach this level, things really start to change and magic starts to happen. That is when the two energies really pour on the magic and make shit happen.  We cannot do this alone.  We must heal and engage one another in peace.  It is critical that the divine feminine feel safe, heard, cherished and loved.  

Thank you my friend for giving me the greatest gift.  I am touched deeply and I weep with joy as a result.  My heart aches as I've worked so long and hard to accomplish that level of relationship.  Thank you!!!!  <3  

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