Protocols of respect and honour

Years ago I watched a video of a debate in the US House of Representatives.  What struck me was that each member asked the other member for permission to ask a question before posing the actual question.  The other member would then grant that permission to the question to be asked.  These individuals are acting like sovereigns as they recognize that they cannot take or demand anything from anybody else.  Rather, they respect the sovereignty of the other individuals in the room and govern themselves accordingly.

When I asked Sweetgrass Sitting Bear if I could speak to an elder about the work that we are doing, the protocol was to give tobacco and prints.  The gifts are a sign of respect and honour for the wisdom that the Elder holds that we all want to learn.  

When we demand answers from another individual, we are showing disrespect and engaging in covert violence against them.  Somehow this is now seen as normal and acceptable social behaviour, but I would like to point out that it causes stress and harm on an emotional, mental and even spiritual level.  Gone are the days where protocol, honour and respect are practiced.  We pose questions to one another and demand that they get answered.  If people don't answer them, then they are treated with contempt, mistrust or even guilt.  

I grow tobacco and sage for this very purpose, as gifts to give others.  I even have cedar that was given to me and I found sweetgrass growing on the land that we steward.  I'm trying to grow cedar here as well, that way we have all four of the sacred ceremonial plants that is used by the people of this land.  We smudge with sage and sweetgrass all the time.  

I must admit that when I held my last workshop, I had one individual give me some tobacco and another gave me some hemp.  I treasured those gifts far more than anything else that people gave me to attend the event.  

Protocol is tough to remember and I often forget myself.  But when I do remember, protocol tells the other individual that I respect them, honour them and I ask for permission first.  That way I am not taking or demanding from them, which is violent.  Instead I ask for permission and leave it up to them to give with their own free will.  

If we did that in all our interactions with one another, we may find peace breaking out.  The state does not function on that level as they will engage in violence and coercion at all times.  But we don't need to live like that or stoop down to their violent level.  I suggest we rise above the violence and engage in protocol with one another so that we can learn how to have relationships that are peaceful, respectful and honourable.  

I will work hard to remember that, even here!  <3  Why?  Because I love you.