Mental health while healing from serious illness

I've been taking CBD and THC oil for months as a part of the protocol I've been using with my recovery process.  A few weeks ago I stopped taking it and I must admit, the bipolar roller coaster ride I was on was the most brutal, excruciating pain I've experience since my depression and suicide days of the late 90's and into 2001.  Never would I have imagined just how important this medicine would be to help stabilize and strengthen my mind and emotional body as my physical body works through its healing as it evicts the diseased cells.

What better opportunity to talk about mental health than my own experiences over the past few weeks.  Dealing with a serious illness takes a monumental toll not only on ones body, but also on the mind, emotions and spirit.  I can testify first hand just how challenging healing all four can be, especially when the body is in a life and death struggle.  I think I've done VERY well over the past couple years dealing with this healing journey without doctors, medical mafia, state sponsored institutions or any of their crap.  I've done this all on our own using natural remedies, medicines, hard work and dedication to healing.  

But when I took myself off the CBD and THC oil, I had no idea just how much it was supporting my brain and emotions.  The chaos that it caused wreaked havoc on my life and the ripples will be felt for a long time.  There were points where I was hurting so much emotionally that I wanted to die.  Now that I'm back on it, I feel myself leveling out and much more stable.  

Dennis Brown [CC0]

When I realized just how important natural medicines are for me, I started to grow my own.  There is no way that I want to be without these medicines and I now recognize just how important they are to my health, even on a holistic level.  I've often prided myself at being strong and aware enough to be able to deal with any mental health issues that come up.  This little experience has taught me how woefully unprepared I was should anything happen to my mind.  I've dealt with mental health issues my whole life and I've been very vocal and open about it all over the last 20 years.  

So what did I learn over the last few weeks?  Bipolar is not a fun roller coaster.  It is downright brutal and evil.  It really fucks with ones mind and emotions.  I am usually very good at interpreting what people say, seeing the true intent in their statements and working through them in a healthy way.  But these last few weeks I found that capacity went to zero.  I was feeling hurt, abused and abandoned no matter what people said.  This confused me greatly as this is just not me and I left those types of reactions nearly 20 years ago.  The trauma that this caused looked very much like PTSD, so Carey started treating me as such.  

My road to recovery is ongoing and I'm learning a lot through the process.  While we are all healing from the colonial trauma that we are all experiencing, more details can be found here, mental health issues must be addressed with great care, vigilance and persistence.  The fact that the US is trying desperately to manufacture public support (all lies in my opinion) so that they can go to war with Iran, almost every aspect of our lives are equally as violent and destructive to life and our healthy social structures.  All of this violence is having a profound toll on the mental health of people all over the globe.  

In Hong Kong, nearly two million people hit the streets to prevent their leader from passing legislation to open extradition into China, essentially absorbing Hong Kong into Chinese rule and making people disappear.  Their response?  over 27% of the population (2 million) of that city hit the streets to protest.  When they were done, not a piece of garbage was left behind.  While I'm not an advocate of protests, the point they made is that the people have the power and authority, not the state and it can be done while respecting each other and Mother Earth.  We are at a cross roads in human history.  Either we surrender to the state or we stand up and build a new social construct that respects mental health, peace, freedom and prosperity for all.  I've dedicated my life to bringing these issues into the forefront, yet mental health issues seem to block progress for many.  

Greed, lust, fear, disbelief, illness, poverty, feelings of powerlessness, hopelessness and other mental health issues block true evolutionary change.  The state needs to keep people wallowing in these feelings and that is why they start more wars, engage in constant propaganda and demonize people who threaten their empire.  

Natural medicines, healing circles, education, experience, skills, knowledge and strong relationships are paramount.  We really do need to reconnect to Mother Earth as the path that the colonial empire marches on leads to destruction.  To make this shift requires physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health.  This is not something to be ashamed of, but rather something to be embraced and healed.  

So while many out there may be struggling with mental illness, please know that some times the problem is our physical body, gut, circumstances or unhealthy relationships that we engage in.  Sometimes it is our own thoughts, lack of knowledge, experience or unwillingness to consider other ways within our relationships.  Having a team of people to help is paramount as there are times in our lives where shit happens and our intellect is completely incapable of figuring it out as it's capacity has been significantly diminished.  

I know, because that what happened to me.  My mind lost it these past few weeks.  I had moments of clarity, but I also found myself in a complete fog, unable to reason, think or even perceive properly.  I felt lost, confused, alone and abandoned.  I was not capable of making rational decisions as I was over reacting to much of what was unfolding around me.  This is not a healthy state to be in and why tribe is so damned important.  Who do you trust to help you should you go through bouts like this?  Anybody?  Don't think it will happen?  Guess again!  It will happen to the majority of us at one point or another.

If we really want to heal, it is time that we start addressing these kinds of issues and having conversations.  I'm fortunate as my wife is a healer and medicine woman.  If you don't have somebody like that in your life, then it I would suggest you all start working on building relationships so that you have people like that in your life.  Don't depend on the medical mafia to be there as they will disappear with the coming changes.  Better idea:  Start learning this stuff so that we can provide real, effective and healthy care for one another.  We must bring these skills back into the hands of the people or we are not going to get through these coming changes.  

All skills must be returned to the people.  ALL skills!!!  Fully removing our dependency on the state should be a priority for everyone.  Lives will depend on it.  Don't believe me?  Try talking to people in areas around the world that are dealing with war, martial law, famine, floods or other man made or natural disasters.  Try dealing with that shit when dealing with mental illness or ptsd.  

I have healing still to do, but that is not going to stop me from expressing my views and experiences as I feel they are important conversations to have.  I pray this helps somebody, even one individual.  May Creator bless us all with the healing we need to find the strength, stamina, courage and resources to change our world and bring heaven, peace and good health to earth.