Well reading your blog i can feel your pain and let me share quite similar story with you My friend, I lost my father when i was 9 years of my age. It turned me to a very different boy and changed my life entirely. I became more stubborn and frighten. I used feel fear from darkness, it is not like i was not crying in that phase of life but i did not show it to my family members. I used to cry alone as i was really attached to my Father.
When i entered into my teen phase then i made a principle of my life that i am not going to show my feelings to anyone because it makes me sick and coward in others eyes, again a wrong decision.
Then i went to my college and bullied there for my awkward behavior to normal situations. After all this, i wrote a religious book of my religion in which i found a guideline about life. Before going to my university for further studies i went to do some job before entering to the university. This thing changed my perception about life and i learnt feelings shouldn't be hidden. Crying and mourning makes you feel easy as you wrote above.

Today again you taught me one great thing which i am going follow for my life and that is

So how do I mourn? By feeling deeply, crying, remembering and being grateful for the memories. By finding ways to express how I feel in words as I would rather tell people how much they mean to me face-to-face than have to say good-bye to a shell when the true spiritual essence of who I loved has already moved on.

You don't know but you have a great influence on my thoughts and personality in all these days @wwf for which i am really thankful to you <3