Hello Steemians! Hope you all are well!

If I did ulogs everyday, some of them would be kind of dumb.

Like this for example: Today I woke up and sat on Steemit for several hours while my children slept, then I cleaned the kitchen or at least loaded the dishwasher because I was too lazy to clean up after supper last night. One of the kids broke a glass and after cleaning it up there still seems to be a piece missing, so I hope no one ends up stepping on it later, having to get stitches! We had frozen pizza for lunch. I spent some more time on Steemit in the afternoon, then took a few moments to acutely feel guilt and self loathing because of all my failures, but I don't have the willpower at this point to really change who I am. Oh, and I didn't take a shower today, saving it for tomorrow's ulog...

Who would want to read that???

Every few days works better for me, and I'll tell you what's been going on! Hopefully it will be a little better than the one above. First off, Chloe, my 6 year old, lost her front tooth in her sleep. We couldn't find it anywhere after she woke up, so we think she swallowed it! Such a cutie, she wanted to wear this fedora all day!

The horrible medication that my psychiatrist put me on is finally starting to leave my system, and I'm not feeling as insane as before. It seriously messed me up bad, as you will know if you read my last post.

My son spends a lot of time on his tablet. Jared's dad and step-mom got it for him two Christmases ago. It is an obsession, and I fear the tablet has fused with his consciousness. They have become one and I blame myself for being too lenient about it. Yesterday I fantasized about breaking it with a hammer and laughing maniacally, saying, "Welcome to the real world buddy! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" That would probably be the most traumatic experience of his childhood though, so I'm just letting it remain a fantasy.

So, you may be wondering about the job.

I don't know if it's good news or bad news yet. Time will tell. I have mixed feelings about my decision here, but I quit the job. Here are the pros and cons of it. On one hand we really need the money, It's in a house a block away, only two men to look after, I want to feel the accomplishment of working and supporting my family, and maybe I'd get used to it.

On the other hand, I didn't realize how mentally disturbed one of the residents is until I was there doing the online training Tuesday. He supposedly has the mentality of a ten year old, but is a grown man who weighs in around 275 pounds I'd say. He wears snap-back hats and smokes cigarettes, and he absolutely terrifies me. He hits people, yells at people, stomps around and often threatens suicide when he doesn't get his way. While I was doing my training upstairs, his room was next to mine. He was mad that he wasn't taken out on his outing that day, and he crashed around and yelled out obscenities at his caregiver, then he purposefully gagged himself, and loudly retching, he made himself vomit all over his room as retribution, which of course he didn't clean up. Upon reading his chart I saw that he is also sexually inappropriate, and was kicked out of one place for going after the employees with a butcher knife.

After coming home, I told my husband about it. I was so stressed out about having to start on the floor, and having to deal with him one on one Wednesday morning. I cried and paced and nearly had a panic attack, and I doubt I would have had such an extreme reaction if it weren't for the med I was put on. I was a total mess over going back there, and Wednesday morning I kept going back and forth about it. My husband told me not to go, and he would intensify his job search. Ultimately, I sent the manager a text explaining that I wasn't going to work there anymore. I don't know if this was the right decision, and am double minded about it. Jared spent hours looking for work yesterday after I quit too, so we will see...

Last but not least, have you ever met cecicastor here on Steemit? She is a dear friend of many here, and she needs our support. She and her family are stuck in Nicaragua and conditions are deteriorating. It is too late for her to leave and return to Canada, because it is now unsafe. That's why I didn't tag her either. They are being watched. I've been following her for a long time, she has always supported mine and many other's posts. I'm ashamed to say that she's been posting about what's been happening there for some time now, and I just found out about it yesterday. How did we Steemians not pull together for her and raise the funds to get her and her family out of there somehow while there was still time? Read this post please, and maybe some of her older ones if you are not up to date on what is happening. Maybe #informationwar can resteem her post as well. The least we can do is spread the word and show our support. Honestly I don't know what else can be done at this point...I fear for her safety.

Seems abrupt, but that pretty much wraps it up! Have a wonderful day everyone!

Thanks for reading!

Love, snowpea ❤