We get angry at others when they do not do or act according to our will, it hurts hence we go temperamental with friends and families, blood relatives or just colleagues. But, what do we do when we default by ourselves, when we did not live up to full expectations like we would have expected from others?
I was devastated in myself some days back for a couple of reasons, one is an examination I had studied and prepared so hard for that I didn’t get my desired scores, I never get to that level I have wanted and needed so bad, even though I did not fail but might make me rewrite the same exam. Not just the stress of waking up in the middle of the night to study for weeks, I had also invested so many resources into it and these factors could not make me feel any less impressed at my performance.
Thousands went down the drain on a very stable and efficient ISP-Internet Service Provider Network, I spend quadruple of the amount I use to spend on data to get a better one for tutorials online and to connect with other candidates around the world.
What about the examination fee? That wasn’t a “chicken change” as some rich men would have called it; it was not as expensive but not so cheap at the same time. I could have used the money for something different, maybe on myself and family members, go on a boat cruise and get some seafood as well as getting a full body massage, or give some part of it to someone in distress.
To make things worse, I was in an emotional turmoil, caught in love brouhaha that took a huge chunk of me, this happens to normally to singles (bachelors), but in my own case, it was a wrong time. It so happened that a girl I had loved so much made me question my commitment and all my feelings placed under doubt about chasing a shadow for so long. I have been having that feeling but something happened to confirm my worst fears, unfortunately, everything happened so swiftly that my result came out in the same period I was in emotional distress.
Maybe I checked my result at the most bizarre of time, or maybe I have been blinded and confuse to know a true love when I see one, “like two excruciating bullet wounds on the same part of the body”. Such pain won’t kill but sure will make you wish for death at some point. I was sad and regretting putting myself in such awkward situation, and at the same time furious at myself for not living up to my own expectations regarding my exam result which I had placed so much hope on.
Love is sweet and at the same time wicked, if you have been caught in some love-mess then you would understand why so many people never want to get married nor have partners.
These worries are heavy and they rest on my shoulders and several other people going through love challenges and other things simultaneously like me. With no one to lean on and help carry it on, some people might lose their cool and have a nervous breakdown. Thanks to the steem Blockchain, where some memories could be written down and dumped to avert lingering pains.
Life is not a bed of roses, as they say, in fact, it is full of thorns and thistles piercing through the skin, depending on which side of life you find yourself. It is not the end of the line when we are faced with disappointments and shortcomings in our endeavors, these are life-changing tools that make us wiser as we grow. Each mistake teaches us new things about life which we can use to train others looking up unto us.
Never despair, or like me do not be sad. You can feel bad but don’t wallow in self-pity for too long, pick up yourself, bet over it and be strong. Life is filled with ups and downs, we need inner strength to scale through these obstacles.
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