Amen sister , you know while reading your post , it really made me emotional , just thinking how you must be even feeling.
You know why !?!? Not because I'm in your same situation sis 😘 , but , me I always had a plan for my life you know... I always knew I should get married by maybe around 25 , because my mom has bleeding problems and hormonal issues so I knew , I might have all those , since I have a body like hers and we have similar problems. So ever since I could remember I used to think like that.

But some bad things happened in my life...I don't want my famiky to see this...but I feel god is telling me to tell you ... So first my sister , who I took care of ever since she is small , I always thought of her more than just my sister more like my daughter and I are always did things so that she could have an awesome life too you know....but then all of a sudden she got these weird problems...things started falling from her hand...then we took her o hospital it was emergency maybe last last year..and that doctor didn't even look at her properly and said she has psychological issues and nothing else... And we all thought maybe it's true you know... It was one of the hardest day when someone says you have psychological problems...she didn't even want to get up from bed...that bad..I remember crying and crying.. then life went on.. I went back to China for school and she was back home with my parents, suddenly she started getting these blanks again...and again...and it was her junior prom and the day of the room..she got tonic clonic seizures. It was the worst worst worst time of my life... Because I had finals...and they were rushing her to emergency and now they gave her the medications for seizures and those medicines are not good medicines..they have alot of side effects like liver and kidney could shut down.... I asked God...god whyyyy... It should have been me..and not her...I wanted her to have an better life than me . All I could do was cry...and pray... By faith had decreased... Like so much ...it was so much pain. Because this wasn't the only problem...my mom got back her continuous bleeding throughout ...and she is supposed to remove her uterus...but we can't ...it requires more money.. so she takes hormones and that's not good for the lumos in her breast... It's just too much... My dad has his things too...and to complete the issues...our house had a case ...and it became against us..and we are literally going. To be homeless.. I was just crying writing this...

But along the way , I became closer to God... I began trusting God... I'm not lying sis.. for real..I knew it was only him who could change anything..and us humans can do nothing. I began reading scriptures daily..praying..singing out to him.. crying for him... Because I know I had some premenstrual depression too , so I cried to him rather than just crying and crying for no reason. And sis , even though the result part of nothing has come yet..I know God won't do anything to hurt us the children of God. I know he loves us so very much.. and I know he will grant your wish.. I am praying for you this very moment. I am praying that God help you during that whole process..and I pray God gives you all the strength and courage...

And sis listen reckless love + encouraging word - steffany gretzinger on YouTube...that song made me feel good...maybe it will make you feel the miracle coming your way.

I love you sis.. ❤️❤️