Just Breathe - TWB 100 Words Contest Phase Two!
Welcome back, dear readers of mine.
I have for you today something of a reprint. I and the other contestants in the current stage of The Writer's Block 100-words contest have all spent the last while working with our mentors to fine-tune and improve our first stage entry.
Mine has not changed a great deal from its original version, but I cleared up some imagery that was muddy for some.
Receiving critique and editing accordingly truly can improve your writing! Even if what you think you have is great... I was quite confident with my original, but my viewpoint is only one, and it's filtered through my lens as the author. I wasn't aware that a reference I took for granted as obvious was waaaay out there for others. Easy fix, and the story is all the better for it!
Read the original version here...
Now, without further ado, my final version for the TWB #100-words Contest!
“Your call is important to us. A representative will be with you soon.”
Relax. Someone will answer. There's time. Feet up. Concentrate.
They're playing old pop radio on the line. Breathy, about breathing. Oh, the irony.
Ringing. “OxyGen Supply! This is Pamela, how can I help you?” Pamela's giddy with corporate air.
“Oxy's shut off.” Can't breathe. “Suite 6392, Aquidia Building.”
Name. “Marla Micheals?” Right?
“Oh my. Ms Micheals, your account is in arrears. Are you prepared to remedy that?”
Judgemental bitch. “Yeah.” Gonna die.
“Great, I'll transfer you to billing. Hold please!”
all images from Pixabay.com. Cover image created using Canva