RE: What happened to real friends?
I get what u are saying and i dont think u should be rude or negative about what u say, just completely honest. I promise it is ok for friends not to agree on everything. Just because u think her boss is a dick because how he treated u doesnt mean she has to agree (or maybe she does agree and now u will never know)..
And i personally think if it does come up u should tell her the truth, that u didnt appreciate the way her boss handled that situation, its not like u (or her) did anything wrong, you are just saying how u feel! Why is that wrong these days?
And why does ur opinion hurt anyones feelings? Yeah, she tried to help u out and it didnt work out, no big deal. Thats life. Nothing to be angry about or feel blamed for. Things dont work out all the time, its not anyones fault.
Running from the truth solves nothing, but lies ruin lives..
Your story is actually a good example of what i mean.. If u have to lie to ur friend to make her feel better or to keep her from getting mad or hurt, than are u really a friend at all? If u cant even say whats honestly on ur mind then why even have that person in ur life? Because at that point everything is fake and its all a lie..
I use to be that same way, so i understand why u think that way, i just cant keep lying to myself and others.. id rather just hang out with my dogs! Lol..
I wouldn't lie to her though - I'd just prefer not to bring the subject up unless she asks. If she brings it up, I will definintely tell the truth. In fact, we had a massive fall-out about a year ago, because I felt she was making a lot of undermining comments towards me. She wasn't in a happy place at the time. When I politely called her out on this, she hit the roof, and we stopped talking for about five months. Eventually she apologised, and we made it up. There are no more undermining comments and our friendship is stronger.
A similar process happened with another friend several years ago over a different issue, although in that case we just had a massive row, and after that our friendship was much stronger. She had a tendency to emotional blackmail and was accusing me of not always answering the phone to her - which was true, as she loved to talk for hours on the phone, several nights a week, and I didn't have time for that. I told her very firmly that if she wanted to stay friends with me she would have to accept that, or we could say goodbye right away. Our friendship became much more adult, rational and stronger from that moment on - but I noticed that the emotional blackmail continued in her relationships with other mutual friends, because they would tell me this. They didn't discuss the issue squarely with her. Sometimes you have to say a few home truths to improve a friendship, but it can make things unpleasant for a while.
Yup, very thought-provoking post!