I Got Robbed By The Police

I’m shaking so bad right now. Not only did I almost die tonight but I also got robbed by the police.

Weird, right? Aren’t the police normally supposed to KEEP you from getting robbed?

Well, not here in Bali. Here, they’re doing it wrong.

If you haven’t traveled and you’re from the US or somewhere…you may not know this…but it’s actually like this in a LOT of countries.

You have to worry about the same thing happening in Mexico, Nicaragua, etc.

In a lot of places, police just see a chance to make money because you’re a foreigner so they pull you over to get some money out of you.

I know I could use a few more curves, but I didn’t know my body was so square shaped that I’d get confused for an ATM machine.

We were driving from Ubud to Canggu. I don’t think we had done anything wrong. But, unfortunately, we had to stop at a red light right next to a policeman who told us to pull over. He was literally standing only 2 feet from our motorbike.

Ok…so… I’ll admit. I was driving without an international license. But I honestly don’t know even one person who has one here. Everyone just drives. They rent to you without a license here. Heck, I got my bike without even showing my passport or anything.

I didn’t know that I was supposed to even get one until a month ago, and by that point, it was too late because I’m already here in Asia and can’t get one.

Also, I wasn’t planning on coming to Bali and having to drive. But here I am, in Bali, and I guess when you fail to plan, you plan to fail.

I always heard it’s okay, though. That the worst that happens is you have to pay some money.

Well not in this case.

The policeman literally said I had to give him my motorbike.

My legs went numb and my breath got stuck in my throat. I started shaking as bad as my grandma with Parkinson’s disease does (poor grandma, she stays in good humor about it).

Do you know how freaking scary that is? He said it was that, or I could go to the city in front of the judge or something like that (was he going to put me in Indonesian jail!?).

I was already shaking from the near-death incident that had just happened 15 minutes before that.

I know I shouldn’t have been doing that. So I’m not really mad at the policeman, and it doesn’t change how I feel about Indonesia. I know the risks I was taking, and I know what kinds of things can happen.

I still freaking love Bali and basically every Indonesian I’ve ever met. Nicest people ever. Technically it was my own fault, anyway.

Luckily…after about 45 minutes of agony waiting to find out what would happen, a miracle happened.

A second cop showed up.

Ok, I know that sounds worse, but it worked out so well in our favor! I was with a Filipino, and Cop #1 was asking me “Do you have USD and I was like…no.” And the Filipino said, “Philippine peso that’s it I’m not from the US!”

And it was so funny, because I leaned over and whispered to him "Speak Tagalog to me!" (I don't understand Tagalog hardly at all...but I know about 10 words)

So he did.

And of course, I have no idea what he said.

But I pretended I did, and responded with "meydo majo dito" which means it smells bad here.

And then he spoke some more things that I didn't understand, and I replied in Tagalog "kahit maputi na ang buhok ko" which is just song lyrics that basically mean "I'll love you even when your hair turns gray. 😆"

The second cop for some reason then said “Oh, Pilipinas! Like Indonesia, same same!” And he actually gave us back about 2k rupiah, and let us go (even though we only had 60k when he was asking for a million).

Just like that.

First cop wasn’t happy about it, but agreed with his friend to just magically let us leave. Yay for Filipino magic!

So as for that near-death experience. The drive to Ubud was easy. Enjoyable, in fact. I had a blast stopping on the side of the road whenever I wanted to take pictures.

I was all happy taking weird pictures like this:

Just rocking the helmet hair:

I'm basically one of those instagram models now.

Is this my good angle?? 😆

How about this one?

Somehow…the ride back gave us a horrible route that seemed like the equivalent of suicide if we were to take that route. But, since we didn’t know where else to go, or how to get an alternate route… we took it anyway.

No fun pictures this time.

No time to stop. Too many cars and motos flying at you from all directions at once. It felt like playing the game Frogger only with no road rules. It was fight or die.

How could this route be so different?!?!

We were using maps.me which is a lifesaver if you’re traveling and don’t have a SIM card in your phone to use google maps.

It’s just, I don’t think you can avoid highways or tolls etc. etc. with this app. Which is okay…considering it’s amazing that you can even use it without wifi in the first place.

Anyway, the way home was a death trap of too many cars and just people driving at you from all angles.

My stress levels were beyond high the entire time, but I managed to stay calm even though it was one of the craziest times of my life. What should have been a 1-hour drive turned into a 3.5-hour drive.

There were several bridges when we were driving home. On one of the bridges, we had to stay right up on the edge of it, and a big truck came just 1 inch from squashing us. One. inch.

Not exaggerating here. I have never been more terrified in my life. Because if he had kept coming towards us even one inch more, we would have nowhere to go except for off of the bridge.

I don’t think he saw us, despite us honking, but we managed to barely miss the truck by just one inch.

Can I just say I need a vacation from my weekend vacation? Haha, that was exhausting. So that’s what I’ve been up to. Sorry that I didn’t post yesterday, but I didn’t bring my laptop to Ubud ‘cause I didn’t want to risk it getting stolen in case someone snatched my bag while I was on the bike.

I wanted to do at least a small post from my phone, but my phone kept overheating yesterday and shutting down. I THINK I finally figured out how to fix it.

I love how crazy life can be. Despite all the insanity, it was a fun adventure! Even the nutso traffic and police stuff. I love how life is never boring!

It just keeps throwing me challenges to overcome.