Thoughts from a Swimming Pool | The importance of Perspective

I bet that when you were young - when you were a mere 7 year old with no experience, no criteria and a complete lack of common sense - your parents told you at least one time: "Hey Steemian, don't judge other people, you don't know the full picture" and maybe they also nagged you, as most parents do, about "Not comparing yourself to the kid next door, or to your friend from school".

They were on to something, and it only makes sense once you stop being a kid and you start to develop your own mindset and learn to make unbiased, analitical judgements - don't worry, it takes time, for some people it takes a whole life.

Because the truth is, it's almost impossible to experience something, or watch someone do something, or witness anyone saying anything, and avoid making any judgement and jumping to our own conclussions. Most of the times we do this, we do it without knowing the full picture, with no extra information rather than what we have in sight in that very moment. And even when we judge knowing the context and the background, the truth is, we can't really do it unbiased and with only analitical purposes.

Once we start living, we shape our reality - and that own reality influences how we set other people's own reality - based on our own experiences, view of life, mindset and how we were raised.

We can't help it, we will never see reality in 100% the same way our nieghbour does, or that kid from school, not even how our younger sibling does.

We can try to put ourselves in other people's shoes and try to make a judgement from their point of view, trying to see things how they do it, and then attempt to understand the purpose and goals of their actions, trying to figure out what is happening inside their head when they act the way they act.

That is perspective.

Perspective. A term difficult to define, an maybe I'm completely wrong about the actual meaning of the word because that's my own intepretation of the word. I like doing this, I like cutting down to pieces an idea, a sentence or a word, and then put it back the way I want to. I mean, that's what the language is right? Just a set of meanings given to a set of expressions. If perspective means that for me, then I only need to make a good case about my interpretation of the word and you can decide if you put yourself in my shoes, see things the way I do, and adopt my own interpretation. Because that's what words are, mere interpretations that a majority of people - most of the times, inteligent and wise old men who happen to control the making of dictionaries - agree on.

Oh wow, I usually try to give context before I begin to write about the topic I have in my mind, I guess this is the longest introduction I've written in all my freewrites.

Traveling gives you perspective. It opens your mind and broadens your mind's horizon. It expands your criteria and makes you a better - or wiser - at judging (which we already established is wrong) in an unbiased way, or at least helps you trying to achieve an objective judgement process.

I don't like judging, but I can't help doing it. It comes automatically. It's part of the business. Comes with the attitude. It's included in the small letters at the end of the contract.

But since I do it, and I spend a lot of time doing it, I try to do it as objectively and as positively as I can. Not condemning a person's behaviour or actions, without belittling a person because of their motives, avoiding derogatory conclusions or negative outcomes. I judge, and then I try putting myself into the very same background, situation, experience and environment as the other person, and then try to understand the actions as if I was the person experiencing it first hand.

That's one of the reasons I wanted to travel. To understand the world first hand. To live myself other people's reality and try to decipher why do we think the way we think, why do we act the way we act. To experience how a person who lives with 50 USD a month can be as happy as someone who spends 50 USD in a meal. To prove to myself - or convince me - that everything that happens in this world is subjective, and at the same time can be objectively analyzed and in the end, understood and digested, all the while, learning about the process and the people surrounding myself.

Call it a life long experiment with no end, no real outcome and no prize gained, except for the experience gained, the moments shared, the smiles given and received and the continuous growth as an always growing person.

What am I talking about? Where is all this nonsense going to?

I don't know. All my freewrites are written precisely as I think about them, no edits, no real ending and no real development, I just get an idea, begin to disect it and let the post write itself.

But I guess It all comes down to examples on perspective, because I can write all night long about this topic and perhaps it is too abstract or ethereal for me to succesfully explain it to, or maybe it is too complicated and obtuse for you to understand. Who knows, it's all about perspective - get it? - so let me try to explain myself.

I've traveled throughout 25 countries in 4 different subcontinents, North America, Central America, West Europe and East Europe. I divide them like this because despite sharing a same continent, the reality is completely different from one region to the other and hence, the experience I got and everything I learned were totally opposite.

I like to think that helped me enrich my perspective and made me able to compare first hand other people's realities and facilitated me to put myself in other people's shoes. The example is quite silly, but it does the trick, so bear with me:

For an upper middle class family in Central Europe, Austria, a Saturday in the Summer means:

McDonald's in the morning while watching TV, then some watermelon by the pool waiting for the cousins to arrive. Once they get there, playing all morning with one of the 6 inflatable toys you own - all of them in varied sizes - while the mothers drink some Apperol Spritz. Around the middle of the afternoon, it's pizza time for the kids and more conversation time for the mothers. Then it comes the time where the kids play in the garden because they can't go in the pool yet, while the adults keep relaxing. No rush, no pressure and no stress (at least during the weekend). The biggest worry is that a storm may come around 16:00 so we have to be ready. One of the girl cries because her mom doesn't let her go in the pool right after eating pizza. One of the moms nags the other because she didn't put enough Apperol to the Spritz. The little girls brought an extra swimsuit so they can wear a dry one for when the pizza is in the table, one of them shouts at the mom because she is cold and her mom isn't bringing the towel fast enough. The one year old baby is happy, smiling at how the 30 kilo Labrador gives a condescending look to the 2 kilo Chihuahua, and enjoys a hot mashed nice meal from her loving mother. I drink three beers and get into a water fight with the 10 year old boy and the three 8 year old girls; they love being tosed around and smashed into the water, but the fourth girl them decides she doesn't want anything with me, and just swims around.

How did I end up in this situation? I'm currently dating an Austrian girl.

For a lower class family in Central America, Honduras, a Saturday in the Spring means:

Waking up in the room I share with two of the house daughters at 6 am to go to the river and wait for the Grocery boat, the one that comes only two times a week, to deliver some food we don't get from the river or the small orchard we share with the whole family. Spend as little as we can, but enough to go by during the week; as always, the week is looking harsh and we probably won't eat as much as desired, but exactly as expected. After that, going to the local - and only - football field which is actually dirt, not grass to watch the school football game. Then, and only then we have some breakfast, some beans, tortillas and some rice. Full belly and after using the restroom we share with all the other seven 20 square meters, aluminum ceiling houses, I join one of the nephew's of the woman who received me in her house, and we go to the beach to hang out with all the other 10-15 year olds from town. We are like 20 kids + this old ass nomad, so we decide to explore the south part of the beach, where we find wild horses just hanging by the ocean. We dive and play for some hours, get some mangoes from the trees - everyone has to get their own, all of us have to climb a tree if we want to eat - and after that, we go to the river to hang out. There's no adults there, they are all working the orchards or the fishnets, or maybe getting drunk with homemade eggnog. The older kids leave the river because they have to go work during the afternoon. The young kids stay and play in the river, most of the games are physical, aggresive games. No one brought a shirt, not even sandals and we are all lying on the beach, tired, drying ourselves while me telling them about how is life outside their fishermen village.

How did I end up in this situation? I got into a chicken bus with an unknown destination, and met a 150 kilo woman who offered me to stay at his home because there was no hostels, hotels or anything similar in any town 50 kilometers around.

Two realities. Both are normal for both families. The two of them taught me how empathize and understand that, while it's not the kids doing - or fault - to live the way they do, it influences the way they see the world, the family interactions, their friend's behaviour, how they deal with their problems and how they face every day of their life.

Both sides of the coin have some pros and cons, the two of them have lessons within and different development sections for the kids, and you can also see it in the way the adults behave. None is better than the other, but neither of them would feel comfortable in the other person's shoes, at least in the beginning. Perhaps later on, once they learn to live the world through the other one's perspective.